I've decided to tackle the first Spyro game ever made and reinterpret it as if it were going to have a modern day "live action" (read: hyperrealistically animated) film adaptation. We can all sleep easy knowing this will never happen, right? Right?

Gnasty Gnorc, for those who are unawares, is a simple creature. He was contained to a remote location outside the dragon species' borders and was no threat to the dragon kingdom. Also, he's like, SOOOOOooooo ugly. And a really weird, dopey villain. I can't say I'm super into Gnasty. None of the first game's boss fights are any good, the Gnorc's included, and only slivers of the plot make sense. Just pretend he and the dragons have always viscerally hated each other for good reason.

I'm tickled pink that Insomniac Games unintentionally came up with a new fantasy species for their first game. I'm less tickled that the designs of this species barely reflect this new idea; like, what, they're orcs AND gnomes? Where?? Where's the gnome part? The remake trilogy only exacerbates this complain given how it makes the characters look even more like traditional fantasy orcs and even less like anything resembling a gnome. My galaxy brain solution to this is... to give Gnasty a silly hat and a beard. I never said I was better at this then anyone, guys.