Completed: 5 April 2021

So a couple of weeks ago (to the day) I was introduced to the term "genderfluid" which I had never heard before. That caused me to reflect on years of self-suppression and ignoring the times that I felt more female (I am genetically male). I have had little to no exposure to the LGBTQ+ community until the last few months had no reason or conscious desire to look into the different genders that people define as. I had the misconception (partly because of that little exposure and that lack of interest) that the parts that make up the LGBT part of the name were the only options available, and by the time I started seeing the "Q" and "+" added on I had shoved that whole idea out of my mind. Whenever I felt more feminine I would keep telling myself, "You aren't trans so that doesn't apply to you, oh and your schooling is more important so focus on that instead." After hearing the term "genderfluid" though and what it meant, it just sort of clicked in my head, "That's you." Since then I have felt more comfortable with myself and embraced the days where I feel more feminine, more masculine, or just existing. I have also been more socially active than I have in years, which I attribute to hiding this aspect from even myself.

Now, the only part of that whole spiel that is related to this art piece is that it was that whole discovering my gender identity. So I wanted to make a sona, an actual sona, that would help me connect with that, and here we are with Spizaga, aka Spitz. They were based on the design I used for Theodore, just anthropomorphized as I planned for him. So this was the first time drawing a feminine form, which I feel I accomplished pretty well with the reference I used, and also for doing expressions. The crest feathers are based on the secretary bird (Sagittarius serpentarius) for the female form, and a combination of osprey (Pandion haliaetus) and Blyth's hawk-eagle (Nisaetus alboniger) head crests for the male form, then both for the intersex. The patterning for the upper body was inspired by the ornate hawk-eagle (Spizaetus ornatus) and osprey. The lower body and the wing coloring and color-transition were inspired by the frilled-neck lizard (Chlamydosaurus kingii). The primaries and secondaries (main wing feathers) and the rectrices (tail feathers) were based on the main body colors with no real patterning influence. The non-feather head crest was inspired by the brown basilisk (Basiliscus vittatus), and the eyebrow and back horns from the sungazer lizard (Smaug giganteus. If you are still reading this, then thank you very much and hope you are having a wonderful day, and try to admit things to at least yourself, because knowing yourself is the greatest gift you can give to you.