Oh i forgot Neo is a Luxray with some major speed

I am unsure with this script style as so much is lost rhetorically due to it. You have an interesting plot build and a good cast of characters. Perhaps giving introductions, depth, and description scene and character will set the mood more and apply to the audience. Even when writing a script it is fine to expand into other forms past the character dialogue.
A great deal is lost by this script form, a great deal. The lose of characterization, deeper action, and worldly depth and description lessens the works rhetoric severely. Developing out such script needs to be more rounded in playwright elements.


On the word Yōkai or it has been severally deformed by globalization and lost in translation issues, mainly in forms of anime, video games, and manga made for a quick and common audience reformed out of context by western editors. In mythology and folklore it serves more as a definement for monster or creature. Yet such still applying to the demon Oni of the western regions and the Yuki Yūrei (here we go with the shift in linguistic evolution). Be careful with the use in terms as it may add fallacy to the work. Funny thing actually about that is the Demon king Kochi also known as Kenzen, and Koschei shared by Kurdish, Russian, and Japanese folk lore shares the same suffix, along with the Japenese serpent entity Orochi.

Good luck with the rest.

thank you for the critique and the reason i chose script style is to be able to be able to be able to expand all the characters and be able to delve further into all the characters not just the main characters. though after reading what you wrote the idea of expanding the places through more details. I will take your words into much consideration so i thank you for reading and commenting my story.