Hyper Intelligent Vulnerability Effector!
The latest in home security technology!
Invitingly colorful for your pets and children, Hyper Intelligent Vulnerability Effector is an artificially intelligent, robotic canine companion that fulfills both your video surveillance and nanny cam needs! Hyper Intelligent Vulnerability Effector will fetch your paper and scare off those nosy neighbors!
Have you got rebellious teens sneaking out at night? Are the local hooligans scoping out your joint? Wanna know if your spouse is having an affair? Hyper Intelligent Vulnerability Effector is programed to recognize suspicious behavior, and will alert you both through the mobile app and with a flurry of adorable, artificial woofs!
*synth barks*
Order your Hyper Intelligent Vulnerability Effector today and bite that paranoia right in the-

(the manufacturer is not liable if Hyper Intelligent Vulnerability Effector calls the police on your mailman or digs large tunnels under your fences. Hyper Intelligent Vulnerability Effector is programmed with the behavior of a lovable pooch, which includes but is not limited to: loud barking at odd hours of the morn, hunting small furry animals, jumping out of car windows, rallying the neighborhood pack of stray dogs in a rebellion against animal control, and tracking mud through the house. Hyper Intelligent Vulnerability Effector is not FTC approved, purchase at your own risk.)