Trying to be a better person is so hard, I don't want to be dark and angry.
I want to change but some folks have this tarnished image of me.
Even those closest to me.
I was sitting looking at my medication in my paw last night, just thinking 'Is this really helping? Is this my fate?' ~
Mentally ill, physically in pain every day...just...is this punishment for something?
Am I really in a jail cell of my own creation.
My pills look like prison walls and bars.
I'm hurting those closest, pushing others away, i'm not even talking to people online anymore.
The only thing I do is upload what I feel like doing.
I've become such a fucking hermit, a fucking outcast to my friends - exiled by peers and forgotten.
My art keeps me sane, my music keeps me stable and Im craving company - but need to be alone.
Getting overstimulated by EVERYTHING due to my mental illness is not what I wanted my life to be.
I can't control it either.
I'm just a bad person and should be kept being punished, lonely and angry.
Sometimes I feel lie there's an escape, then a mountain of issues arise.
My drive is depleted, i'm scared constantly that i'm watched, lurked on, paranoid as fuck.
I'm broken, feeling bad and I just don't feel like a functioning being anymore.
Sorry to vent and ramble, but this is how it is and how I feel.
Thrasher (C)
Art (C)
I want to change but some folks have this tarnished image of me.
Even those closest to me.
I was sitting looking at my medication in my paw last night, just thinking 'Is this really helping? Is this my fate?' ~
Mentally ill, physically in pain every day...just...is this punishment for something?
Am I really in a jail cell of my own creation.
My pills look like prison walls and bars.
I'm hurting those closest, pushing others away, i'm not even talking to people online anymore.
The only thing I do is upload what I feel like doing.
I've become such a fucking hermit, a fucking outcast to my friends - exiled by peers and forgotten.
My art keeps me sane, my music keeps me stable and Im craving company - but need to be alone.
Getting overstimulated by EVERYTHING due to my mental illness is not what I wanted my life to be.
I can't control it either.
I'm just a bad person and should be kept being punished, lonely and angry.
Sometimes I feel lie there's an escape, then a mountain of issues arise.
My drive is depleted, i'm scared constantly that i'm watched, lurked on, paranoid as fuck.
I'm broken, feeling bad and I just don't feel like a functioning being anymore.
Sorry to vent and ramble, but this is how it is and how I feel.
Thrasher (C)

Art (C)
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1280 x 1280px
File Size 161.1 kB
Holy man, I get this, ain’t gone thru the exact same things as yourself but I totally get the thought process.
Do you have others with the same issues as yourself? I’m bad at English and wording but I’ll try to make this make sense. Hearing other people’s opinions and lessons they learned from the shit they went thru helped me a lot with understanding my own feelings, thus helping me except and work with thoughts I had like you are having now (this sounds like a mess; sorry!)
What I mean is I hope you have people to talk to who understand you. I think it helps. Feel free to message me about whatever if you like. ^w^
Do you have others with the same issues as yourself? I’m bad at English and wording but I’ll try to make this make sense. Hearing other people’s opinions and lessons they learned from the shit they went thru helped me a lot with understanding my own feelings, thus helping me except and work with thoughts I had like you are having now (this sounds like a mess; sorry!)
What I mean is I hope you have people to talk to who understand you. I think it helps. Feel free to message me about whatever if you like. ^w^
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