am gunna copy and paste what I wrote from instagram bc that's what I felt in the moment. tho in retrospect I was sick at the time so the feeling got amplified, which is worrying if I can't resist something as little as this. Still have self-desctructive mental state anyway ~_~ (drawing took multiple sessions, just to clarify)

vent, about loosing myself/will/whateverdeppressedstuff
didn't plan the drawing to be like this, I couldn't color it like I wanted to. Because I don't know what I wanted. This is only partially me. I hate that drawing, it's the wrong kind of chaotic. Though I liked drawing it, I was nearing a breakdown all the time and this feeling is still here.
inspirations: @/si_ku.k,
posting would help me get this feeling out but it isn't working
my head hurts. it's a great thing pain and fear exist or I wouldn't be here