... Okay, so somehow I went from reminiscing about Littlest Pet Shop and old '90s toys with a friend of mine, and this led me to the Party Time Sweetie Pups line of toys from 1989. Which, in turn, led me on a magical adventure of coming up with a raging party girl Sweetie Pup named Jessica who... god, I don't even know where to start, honestly.

Her backstory involves losing her accessories, Virginia Slim Ultra Light Menthols, and passing out in a Waffle House.

Technically, she's the Bearded Collie model, but... I don't know. They all look the same.