The vocals still seem really off beat. The singing sounds better, but it feels a little off. It's not like, horribly off, but it's kinda teetering somewhere between the right notes and the wrong ones. The guitars get a bit out of time as well.

The guitar solo was interesting. I like how you changed it up this time and really put some oddness into it. A few notes were off, but it sounded a lot better than before.

Overall it's a good tune, but you still need to work on making the vocals fit correctly. The guitars can be fixed up easily, but working on vocals is like learning a different instrument, both in terms of learning how to time them and actually singing.

personally, I like how I decided to sing the 'pledge to me your loyalty' part this time around lolol

I'm not oblivious to my guitar mistakes, I know when I do the semi-quick harmony riff, I fuck up 2 of the 3 times and the riff after 'zealotry, misery etc' I had a hard time keeping both guitars in time in their harmony

BUT

Overall, I'm really happy with this came out, thanks for not saying it's a pile of shit yay :D

and really, the only part I find which doesn't really fit the singing still remains the 'living in a dying world' part, I'm considering taking that part out, but I really like the flow into and out of that riff, but can't help it would sound like filler if I just took out the vocals :I

I guess I shouldn't say it's out of time, but it feels... inconsistent, I guess. I think you try to spit out too many words at once in some parts, and you're doing it too fast, so it sounds kinda weird.

I'm not saying you're oblivious :P I'm trying to emphasize the mistakes so that they don't happen in the future. The riffs themselves are really good so I can't offer much creative input in that aspect, so I apologize for not being too constructive in my criticisms :P

I personally like this; it just needs some polishing :P

not to mention, the main reason I'm in sync MOST of the time and not 'out of sync the whole song I can't stand this geez' was because it was indeed my recording program I used before taking up too much CPU when recording, so I used something else this time (audacity LOL)

Lol audacity.

HELL YEAH BEST RECORDING PROGRAM EVARRRR!

It is! Even Lady GaGa uses it!

LOL REALLY?

NOW THAT'S FUNNY

If only D:

you and dabs are right, really, I guess I'm just getting a bit frustrated with doing it over and over and over etc lol

and as I'm really happy with how the song flows, I think it would really be in my own best interests to work it until it truly is over AMAAAAZING WOOOOAH

I heard this song on the radio http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KfblGznVLJo
it's not, that good, but it reminded me of this song.

I can't really say anything about the music and vocals, because I don't know music. It sounded good, and so did the singing, but you know the screaming isn't my cup of tea.

What's been driving me nuts about the vocals, is (this is only personal taste though)
is it's so accusatory, I know that's the point of the song, but like
my favorite "accusatory" songs, or songs about what's wrong with society, religion, politics, etc.
aim inward as well as outward, like Vicarious by Tool, it's about people being slaves to the TV and obsessed with watching tragedy, from the safety and comfort of their couch but 90% of the lyrics are aimed at himself
"Cause I need to watch things die from a distance
Vicariously, I live while the whole world dies"

And then another device a lot of rock songs use are assembly, like inspirational, we should get together and do something about it type deal

These lyrics are mostly accusatory, and if anything as bad as religion, because you're like trying to shame people into thinking for themselves
which is exactly what religion does, but the opposite

I mean I enjoy the message, just not how it was conveyed

the point of the song isn't to denounce religion, but rather to tell the people who took it to extremism to stfu and learn to indeed think for themselves

I suppose I could have conveyed the message better though, I'm just not the greatest lyricist

I didn't say you were denouncing religion, I was just saying you were being very accusing toward people who use their religion as a crutch

and the song seems to be doing the same thing AS religion, in how it gets it's followers
by shaming them into believing, or shaming them into thinking for themselves

cuts both ways

I suppose I am accusing people who take it so seriously that they rely on their faith in life rather than facts, evidence, or the people who won't let anything change the way of how they think, no matter what is told or presented to them

I suppose it is sort of what I intended, I think I'll just always feel that your life, your beliefs etc should be how you make it, not how it's dictated to you

nothing wrong with faith, but there is something wrong with extremism and you know, zealotry

Yeah I'm not denying that at all, like I said, I agree with the message
but the way you're going about it, is the same way religion tries to recruit

You have definitely improved by quite a lot since I last listened to your music, man! I like the message you put across in the lyrics and I really like how it really fits the actual music itself.

Odd time signatures are <3

The only real critiques I had were already stated by other comments, but I had one more that wasn't touched on; I think there's a bit too much delay/reverb on the vocals. In some spots it does sound cool, but maybe turning it down a bit would sound better. Reverb on vocals is definitely tricky at times and I didn't really get the hang of it until very recently when I was finishing Contravance. ;P

Yeah, I only use a bit of slight delay :O

But yeah, I know what you mean really. Sometimes I found because of the delay some of the vocals sounded less 'rough'

I mean, it works fuggin' awesomely for like clean singing, but I just need to get the right settingggg

Srsly a bitch to work with, no? I recently went back to a couple of older recordings of mine and listened to the vocals. I didn't even realize at the time that the reverb was so damned high! lol I'm glad I decided not to put that song on Contravance. ;P

There are some awkward parts where the harmonies don't exactly match up....some parts seem like they are lacking some flow as well.

Its nice hearing some growled vocals though :3 Good overall song though man

Well, I'm always learning, haha. I've found each (full-length) song I've done is better than the last so far, damn shame it takes me SO DAMN LONG to come up with a new thing every time ajwdsvahjds

As long as you're having fun its all worth it...


I find I always rush my writings...thusly I barely put anything full length out.