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Dangerous Thoughts ~
I needed to vent -something- out after my appointment with my mental health team / therapist.
Saying some of those words out loud, makes part of me feel like the other is a monster.
We talked about dangerous impulses and she had to stop the phone conversation due to time being finished.
I felt like I wasn't quite finished, nothing came of it, nothing was solved...she left me alone with dangerous thoughts and I felt like curling up.
I've been struggling to get myself together since that call and I don't know what to do.
We were talking about self harm, impulses, fire, the need to let something out of my head and my mechanisms in how I let things out.
Thinking too much about that voice in my head that wants OUT, is it me? Or someone else? Is it something I should be scared of?
Is there a violent creature trying to claw its way out when I beat myself back into submission?
Too many things going on inside my head right now to cope.
Someone tell me these thoughts are valid...that its normal to feel worried, scared, anxious, paranoid.
I don't want to hurt anyone, myself or anything...I don't want too be destruction wrapped in skin.
I don't want people to be scared of me, I don't want to push people away, but I know I will.
I felt I needed more time with my therapist today, just to hear her say she can help me stop this creature inside me.
I know it makes me sound like an edgy teen, but, there is something inside my head trying to take control...it feels like if I slip, it'll hurt me, others around me.
Its happened a few times, like another person has taken the wheel and i've been left to watch or even not know what is happening at the time.
Sorry to ramble, just too many thoughts at once...
Saying some of those words out loud, makes part of me feel like the other is a monster.
We talked about dangerous impulses and she had to stop the phone conversation due to time being finished.
I felt like I wasn't quite finished, nothing came of it, nothing was solved...she left me alone with dangerous thoughts and I felt like curling up.
I've been struggling to get myself together since that call and I don't know what to do.
We were talking about self harm, impulses, fire, the need to let something out of my head and my mechanisms in how I let things out.
Thinking too much about that voice in my head that wants OUT, is it me? Or someone else? Is it something I should be scared of?
Is there a violent creature trying to claw its way out when I beat myself back into submission?
Too many things going on inside my head right now to cope.
Someone tell me these thoughts are valid...that its normal to feel worried, scared, anxious, paranoid.
I don't want to hurt anyone, myself or anything...I don't want too be destruction wrapped in skin.
I don't want people to be scared of me, I don't want to push people away, but I know I will.
I felt I needed more time with my therapist today, just to hear her say she can help me stop this creature inside me.
I know it makes me sound like an edgy teen, but, there is something inside my head trying to take control...it feels like if I slip, it'll hurt me, others around me.
Its happened a few times, like another person has taken the wheel and i've been left to watch or even not know what is happening at the time.
Sorry to ramble, just too many thoughts at once...
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1280 x 1280px
File Size 128.9 kB
It's okay, we all just need to ramble every once in a while, and feeling worried, scared anxious and paranoid is okay too, I feel it, it's apart of being human. I hate being left alone with my thoughts as well, I normally drown it out with music, but it doesn't always work.. if venting helps, then vent!
I'm sorry you saw your counterpart as a monster. in truth, it's the side of you that has been protecting you all this time, or at least, it's been trying to, I know mine didn't like being locked in the back of my mind.
I had to be introduced to my other side, and learned to come to an understanding. where we wouldn't hurt each other anymore :3
I'm always up to listen, and wishing only the best.
I had to be introduced to my other side, and learned to come to an understanding. where we wouldn't hurt each other anymore :3
I'm always up to listen, and wishing only the best.
Hey, you're still around?
Being left alone like that is hard after such a conversation.
I have (and really, still am) struggling with similar things, and yeah, these feelings are... okay? Normal maybe? It's just that people have different releases, and mine has been bleeding, others burn themselves, some run until they can't, you know.
My friend is scared of being alone too. I have felt paranoia pretty bad as well.
I have at least two people within me, and I still don't know who I am, and I don't know how to tell the difference between the good and bad.
"and when the ocean of thought crashes over me it's so loud that all I want to do is cut all the blackness out" -Girl In Pieces
Being left alone like that is hard after such a conversation.
I have (and really, still am) struggling with similar things, and yeah, these feelings are... okay? Normal maybe? It's just that people have different releases, and mine has been bleeding, others burn themselves, some run until they can't, you know.
My friend is scared of being alone too. I have felt paranoia pretty bad as well.
I have at least two people within me, and I still don't know who I am, and I don't know how to tell the difference between the good and bad.
"and when the ocean of thought crashes over me it's so loud that all I want to do is cut all the blackness out" -Girl In Pieces
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