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More from VelvetKittie
This is my entry for 
poetigress's Thursday prompt of May 27th, 2010. The word of this week was "the song".
It is also the last Thursday Prompt before the summer break. So I figured I'd give you an entry that will last you till September 2nd, when the Thursday Prompt will return from summer hiatus.
...yes, I'm evil
Of course:
Celeste Monroe is © me
Mara Peterson is also © me
"The song that never ends" is © Norman Martin
"I'm Henry the Eighth" is © Peter Noon
poetigress's Thursday prompt of May 27th, 2010. The word of this week was "the song".It is also the last Thursday Prompt before the summer break. So I figured I'd give you an entry that will last you till September 2nd, when the Thursday Prompt will return from summer hiatus.
...yes, I'm evil
Of course:
Celeste Monroe is © me
Mara Peterson is also © me
"The song that never ends" is © Norman Martin
"I'm Henry the Eighth" is © Peter Noon
Category Story / General Furry Art
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 6.5 kB
Hee hee! Thank you! Yes, my mate showed me the song that never ends sometime... and I countered by showing her Henry the Eighth! we have songs like that here in the Netherlands, too... golly, the childhood traumas! Haha!
And thank you for the fave, too, dear! I'm really glad you liked this story so much!
And thank you for the fave, too, dear! I'm really glad you liked this story so much!
*chuckles*
Yes, they're horrible, aren't they?
Noomins... hee hee, never heard of them! Maybe I should look them up sometimes... Hmm, come to think of it, I can't remember if we ever had any cartoon characters of any kind that were specifically Dutch-made! Mostly what we got were dubbed versions from foreign cartoons... and the occasional Dutch interpretation of some characters, like for instance in Sesame Street... our Big Bird was blue and named Pino! Ohhh! And of course, how could I forget! Mentioning Sesame Street just suddenly brought it back; the Fable Paper! A kind of puppet program for kids, with Mister the Owl reading from the paper all the things that had happened that day in the Fable Forest That was a purely Dutch creation... from waaay back when! I heard there's plans of bringing it back...
Yes, they're horrible, aren't they?
Noomins... hee hee, never heard of them! Maybe I should look them up sometimes... Hmm, come to think of it, I can't remember if we ever had any cartoon characters of any kind that were specifically Dutch-made! Mostly what we got were dubbed versions from foreign cartoons... and the occasional Dutch interpretation of some characters, like for instance in Sesame Street... our Big Bird was blue and named Pino! Ohhh! And of course, how could I forget! Mentioning Sesame Street just suddenly brought it back; the Fable Paper! A kind of puppet program for kids, with Mister the Owl reading from the paper all the things that had happened that day in the Fable Forest That was a purely Dutch creation... from waaay back when! I heard there's plans of bringing it back...
Another fun scene with our favorite couple.
I just have...one...little...critique.
When you put "It were [plural noun]", it is technically grammatically incorrect. That's pretty much the only mechanical error I have found in any of your submissions, but it's in a lot of them, unfortunately. This is a simple subject-verb agreement issue which is an easy mistake to make - I've done it too, and English is my first language.
See exhibit A - http://s310.photobucket.com/albums/kk439/PongoBluetooth/misc/?action=view¤t=grammar.jpg
Despite this minor problem, your writing is basically flawless. And I can only shower so much praise on you for the actual content before I start repeating myself, but I'll say it anyway: it's another lovely view into the daily lives of Mara ad Celeste. I love seeing their interactions and all the little nuances of their relationship. You display these things beautifully.
Keep up the good work.
I just have...one...little...critique.
When you put "It were [plural noun]", it is technically grammatically incorrect. That's pretty much the only mechanical error I have found in any of your submissions, but it's in a lot of them, unfortunately. This is a simple subject-verb agreement issue which is an easy mistake to make - I've done it too, and English is my first language.
See exhibit A - http://s310.photobucket.com/albums/kk439/PongoBluetooth/misc/?action=view¤t=grammar.jpg
Despite this minor problem, your writing is basically flawless. And I can only shower so much praise on you for the actual content before I start repeating myself, but I'll say it anyway: it's another lovely view into the daily lives of Mara ad Celeste. I love seeing their interactions and all the little nuances of their relationship. You display these things beautifully.
Keep up the good work.
*chuckles*
Thank you, dear! I'm glad you enjoyed this little read!
*grins softly*
You know, it's funny... they say computers don't make mistakes. Even so, if I would have written "it was the songs that drove anyone to desperation", my English teacher would've flunked me!
*gives an even bigger kitty grin*
And I counter your evidence with author logic... when you do such a mistake once, it's a typo. When you do it twice, it's a mistake. When you do it three times, you need some English classes. When you do it each and every time in each and every story consistently, it's called your 'writer's style'
*chortles*
But even so, I appreciate the feedback, dear! And I'm real glad that you enjoyed the story, too!
Thank you, dear! I'm glad you enjoyed this little read!
*grins softly*
You know, it's funny... they say computers don't make mistakes. Even so, if I would have written "it was the songs that drove anyone to desperation", my English teacher would've flunked me!
*gives an even bigger kitty grin*
And I counter your evidence with author logic... when you do such a mistake once, it's a typo. When you do it twice, it's a mistake. When you do it three times, you need some English classes. When you do it each and every time in each and every story consistently, it's called your 'writer's style'
*chortles*
But even so, I appreciate the feedback, dear! And I'm real glad that you enjoyed the story, too!
Yeah, MS Word is little wonky. It is simply trying to connect "it" to the verb instead of looking at the whole sentence. It's lazy like that. Which is why I have grammar check turned off. But it is right that it sounds awkward. Trust me, every time I come across it I stumble. I literally cannot miss it, as it just sounds...weird to native English speakers.
I would honestly suggest pluralizing "it" instead of changing "were". Like..."They were the songs..." - that sounds normal to me. Whatever word you have where "it" is should refer to the object. If the object is "songs", the subject should match that.
"They were the songs..."
"It was the song..."
All three underlined terms should match for pluralization, because they are all connected. "They" refers to "songs", and as it is a plural subject, you would use "were", a plural verb.
*looks over rest of post*
WRITER'S STYLE? That's cheating. I dub thee a cheater.
*sticks out tongue, then changes into feral fox and bounds away into some conveniently placed bushes*
I would honestly suggest pluralizing "it" instead of changing "were". Like..."They were the songs..." - that sounds normal to me. Whatever word you have where "it" is should refer to the object. If the object is "songs", the subject should match that.
"They were the songs..."
"It was the song..."
All three underlined terms should match for pluralization, because they are all connected. "They" refers to "songs", and as it is a plural subject, you would use "were", a plural verb.
*looks over rest of post*
WRITER'S STYLE? That's cheating. I dub thee a cheater.
*sticks out tongue, then changes into feral fox and bounds away into some conveniently placed bushes*
*giggles*
Well, of course, she is a cat after all, so she's very smart! Even if it does not always show in her bubbliness... And she even had to think fast... asking to sing 'a song by Herman's Hermits' sounds innocent enough, but if she would have started on 99 bottles of beer on the wall...
Well, of course, she is a cat after all, so she's very smart! Even if it does not always show in her bubbliness... And she even had to think fast... asking to sing 'a song by Herman's Hermits' sounds innocent enough, but if she would have started on 99 bottles of beer on the wall...
*giggles*
Oh yes, this story is very much derived from personal experience! And by dinnertime that evening, Mara will take a huge knife and a cucumber, and warn Celeste... "Cee, if you don't stop singing now, you will end of like this cucumber..."*SLASH!*
I'm glad you liked this story so much, dear! And don't worry, there's still tons more up my sleeve!
Oh yes, this story is very much derived from personal experience! And by dinnertime that evening, Mara will take a huge knife and a cucumber, and warn Celeste... "Cee, if you don't stop singing now, you will end of like this cucumber..."*SLASH!*
I'm glad you liked this story so much, dear! And don't worry, there's still tons more up my sleeve!
I still get songs like that sung at me by 19 year old daughter. I found the solution, if you can't beat em join em, so I join in in the worst possible way, make sure I sound dreadful, she gives up pretty quick after that. Some times I counter her neverending song with the lyrics of Kimba the white lion or the tune to astro boy, neither of which pleases her. LOL brilliant story. *hugs*
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