just read it.


Apotheosis, Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanokoniosis

To rebuild a country, you must first destroy it.

“Jesus do you see that?” I say to the pilot, “Yea, its right in front of me.” I’m mesmerized by the massive mushroom cloud formation and the mirror image about 100 kilometers away; they look fairly recent. I don’t think that the fall-out has hit in our direction because the wind is blowing away from us. We can still save whom we can and get out of there before the helicopters instruments get fucked up. The transponder is still functional and is still giving a fairly strong signal. I can see four blimps; each not to far from each other. I hope there still alive though.

The heli touches down on the ruble of the complex. I can see that I’m just a couple footsteps from a blimp. But as I get closer the ruble doesn’t clear. But there is an indentation in the ground. I need to find these people.

…

I can see something, I can feel something, but none of it’s clear. I know I’m being moved, but I can’t tell who is doing it. I feel dead. I feel alive, but then I feel nothing.

…

“Do you think that these people can help anything in the condition they’re in?” I look at the five bodies in regret, “You need to give them time. Soon they’ll be on there feet.” All four are unconscious but they are still alive somehow. I hope that none of them have radiation poisoning. All I can do at this point is get them to HQ and get them on the next flight to America.

January 22 Journal entry 5, 2015

This guy named John rescued me. I’m not too sure about the others. I never met him. I was told that he saved several others and me. I hope that Xander, Alan and the rest were one of the ‘several others’ but then again, I don’t believe in hope.
I’m on a massive C-130 gun ship, headed for America; at least that’s what I was told. Getting to America was my primary goal, now I just want to find out if the others are okay. I’ve grown to trust them all one in particular was Xander. I don’t know why, but I feel safe around him. Now I’m worried that he and the rest are lying in all that rubble, dead, cold and someplace better. I think that this will be my last journal entry for a while. I was told that I was going to help ‘rebuild America’ I don’t think that’s possible. The virus is still present and we have no cure, or no way to fight it. I hope I’m wrong.

I can finally stand up and walk around the plane. It’s a bit larger then I expected. There are two things on board; Two M1A2 Abrams, and a shit load of ammunition, along with guns. I hear a voice on the intercom, “Logun, report to the Cabin.” I get the message and I walk to where the cabin is located. I climb up some steps, which lead to the cabin of the plan. I get up to the door and knock on it. I hear some footsteps, and then the door opens. I see that everybody did make it. Alan, Kihba, and Xander are all in the cabin. The cabin is rather large. There’s still enough room for at least five more people. “Keegan.” Xander ran at me and tried to hug me. I let him do so. “We thought you were dead.” “You should have been me just a few minutes ago.” I don’t even know if Xander knows that I like him. I want to keep it secret but then again, we may never have the time. As I look him in the face the pilot says, “Umm guys… umm… look.” He pointed out the window of the plane. All I see are multiple mushroom clouds. All are different sizes and have different transparencies. Some look recent and some look old, but one thing that they all have in common is that they all have fall out.
The co-pilot asks, “Is the Geiger counter picking up anything?” the pilot looks at and instrument on the control panel; “No, it’s been quiet so far.” I didn’t know what the hell is going on, so I ask, “Okay, who are you and why are you flying us to America?” The co-pilot looks at me, “This was our mission. We don’t have the authority to explain the details. You’ll have to wait until we get to our destination for answers.”
America looks shittier then the last time I saw it. Everything’s gone to hell. Gone are the beautiful green fields of corn and in there place are crater size holes with the ever present mushroom cloud formation over it. “Fifty kilometers away sir,” The pilot looked at us; “We’re going to be landing shortly. You should think about buckling up.” I nodded and walked out the door and down the steps; every one followed suit.

Within about a half-an-hour I heard the pilot over the intercom, “Alright people, we’re going to land. Buckle up and be ready.” Suddenly the plan tilted forward slightly and we braced ourselves. A large White and grey husky walked towards us. He said, “Okay, once we touch down you need to get inside immediately. The radiation levels have gone down but there’s still enough to cause radiation poisoning if exposed to long. Once you’re inside, get to the nearest sterilizing chamber. There should be fifteen available. After a day or two, you shall be briefed on what you need to do. Is this all understood?” I heard a small mumble amongst us and he proceeded to buckle himself to a vacant seat. I was holding my breath, waiting for the plane to touch down. To my relief; it did.

Everything outside was either destroyed or withering away. A fairly large building lay untouched, by all the destruction, just 100 yards away. We needed to get there fast; or else. I could feel a strange sensation the second that cargo door opened. The plane was shielded by the radiation waves but out here, there’s nothing to stop the destructive waves from bombarding our cells and causing mutations. We ran to the building, hoping that the radiation didn’t do anything permanent.
…

The inside of the building is quite crowded with survivors that were either recently discovered or found months ago. I don’t know why we’re here; the very same country in which all this hell arose. “New arrivals, please report to the conference for debriefing.” The voice was a females’. It sounded hoarse and piercing. Alan and I stayed close together. I didn’t want to loose him, and vice versa.

We had a hard time finding someone who knew the layout of this place. We eventually came across a cheetah. She was able to direct us to the elevator and told us to go to the floor above us to get to the conference room. There were some other survivors near the elevators, which made it a bit difficult to reach the elevator. All four of us were able to fit in the, surprisingly large, elevator. I asked Logun, “What do you thinks going to happen?” He said, “I don’t know. We’ll have to wait and find out.” It was quiet for a second before Xander said; “I think it would have been better if we just died in that explosion.” Logun looked at him and said, “you and me both hun.” I thought, ‘did he just say ‘hun’?’ My thoughts were scrambled by the elevator door opening to reveal a clean floor. We stepped out and Logun said, “They have this floor totally clear while everyone has to be cramped down there?” he shook his head. This place was built like a school hall; doors on either side, a window at the fart end, and a small office, kind of like the ones you would see in a schools entrance. We walked down the dark corridor, lit by only three emergency backup lights. We walked down the long hall and, tried, to read the door signs, looking for the conference room. I grabbed Alan’s hand and held it tight. I wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but I didn’t want to loose him again.

We got close to the far end of the hall when a door, unexpectedly, a large cougar was standing in the doorway. He didn’t say anything; he just motioned us to go into his room. The conference room was clean. There were four seats in which we knew we were to sit in. I sat next to Alan. Logun and Xander sat next to each other. The large cougar was standing in front of use. He was a typical cougar; tan, slim but muscular, and a scare on his maw. He said, “My names Jason. I’m here to ask you a single question. It will be the same for all of you. But, your replies may be different.” He paused as he surveyed us with a sharp look. He continued, “Do you think that you can rebuild the country in which you stand? Are you ready to stand up for a country that was wrongfully destroyed? Do you think that, that’s even possible?” he paused. Logun said, “What are you talking about?” the Cougar eyed Logun. He said, “I’m talking about becoming the country which eradicated the virus. I’m talking about representing the most powerful military entity in the world.” Logun said, “What I need to know is why there are only four of us?” he sighed, “There are many more refugee camps around the country. Many of which contain certain people like you.” It went silent; then, “Now, I want to know, do you think it’s possible to rebuild this country?” the Cougar answered his own question before any body can make a sound, “No, it’s not possible…not with the determination of SOME of you, but all of you.”
The door behind us opened and a large black panther walked out. He looked like hell, then again, so did everyone else. He stopped at the front of the room and faced us. He looked like my age, maybe older. He said, “you all must be wondering what’s going on right?” Xander said, “No, were just enjoying our stay.” The Panther could hear the sarcasm in his voice. He said, “Do you want answers or not?” we didn’t have to say anything. “Well prepare for some big words.”

Journal entry 6 February 27th 2015
Food supply: Unknown. Ammo supply: Unknown

This might be my last journal entry so here goes.

I know why we are here. The Ovo corp. discovered a cure. It’s able to destroy the virus strands without any side effects. However, they are keeping it to themselves. The only reason why were here is because the U.S Army is not powerful enough to coordinate an attack. There numbers were dwindling and military power was nearly zero. This was more of a desperation move then anything else. We have been training, but we didn’t need to do too much since the fact that we survived as long as we did showed we know how to run and pull the trigger of a gun.

The only thing I fear is that I may not come back from this. Xander has to stay behind because in a live firing test they used actual bullets. Xander was hit twice; once in the shoulder and again in the thigh. He is incapable of walking and such. I don’t feel good about it at all; I wanted him beside me, but that might just kill him, along with myself. I love him, and he knows it, I…….. I can’t write anything right now.


I sit back in the chair in which I’m seated. I think about tomorrow and what it has in store for me. I think about the world and how it looks compared to the pile of shit I see every day. I can’t go back in time to stop this that was Kilo’s job and he sold us out for it. Well I guess that was the only choice for him at the time. I decide to write something else. I open the journal and turn to the last page; then I start writing what I feel I need to let him know… ‘Xander if you are reading this then…’

The next day-

“Jesus!!” I yell out in pain as I’m being tended to by the female nurse. I can’t go any ware thanks too this wound. “I’m sorry sir, but if you don’t get the flesh moving the wound will just get worse.” She said. She was a pitch black cat, about 23 or so. I couldn’t really make an accurate guess while my mind is clouded by the aching pain in my shoulder and thigh. She was pretty, that much was for sure, but what was odd was the fact that knew me by name the first time she saw me. Well I guess your name gets around when you get shot two times. I ask, “When are they supposed to leave?” she looked at the clock on the wall which, surprisingly, was still working; “At 5:30 sir.” I nodded, then I lay back to think; ‘just one more hour.’ I sighed and tried to close my eyes.

The pain has gotten more and more bearable with these massages I’m getting. So I guess I can say I’m getting more sleep now. But the one thought that has forbad my slumber was the thought of Logun NOT coming back. But I didn’t get any sleep because before I was able to doze of, I felt a hand on my thigh. I opened my eyes to see Logun. He was smiling at me. I asked, “What are you doing, aren’t you supposed to be with Jason right now?” he nodded, and then said, “Yea, but I wanted to see you before I left.” I looked at the clock on the wall; it read 5:30. I felt something in me break down. “I want you to do something while I’m gone.” He said. I looked at what he was handing me.” I want you to continue writing in this; just until I come back okay?” I looked at him and said, “but what if you don’t come back?” he just chuckled and said, “I’ll come back, I promise you.” I could see the look of uncertainty on his face, I said, “Okay then, what do you want me to write in this.” He said, “Anything sweetheart, the days event, what going on, things like that.” I nodded. Logun leaned in and kissed me right on the lips. I wanted to saver every second of it but the intercom crackled and Jason’s voice came through. “Okay, every one that has been training report to the cargo bay. We are leaving shortly.” We broke the kiss and Logun walked away. I reluctantly let him do so.
…

“I can’t believe they’re using us.” Logun said, “Why?” I replied, “We’re just kids.” Logun chuckled, “you seemed to have taken care of your self from those things for three months, and you’re telling me you can’t handle some real life targets shooting back at you?” “No, I’m trying’ to say that why are they sending kids in to battle with out so much as a shot of hard whisky?” he laughed. I had a hard time not laughing to, “well because, it’ll screw with your aiming. Oh wait, never mind, you’re aiming sucks anyway.”

Kihba was abnormally silent. All the training hardened him and now, I’m scared to be with him. But I turn to him and ask, “Is something wrong Hun?” he stared straight ahead and said, “What’s wrong? hmmm… oh yea, there using kids to fight a battle, or no that’s not it. What’s wrong is that there are only a total of seventeen of us.” I trty to say something but I’m cut short by Jason’s booming voice, “Okay men. You’ve been training for just about a month. I know that that amount of time may seem small, but you all have been surviving for far longer then when we picked you up; which means you know a thing or two about what needs to be done,” A slight pause. Then, “You will have to parachute into the perimeter. There is a gate that encloses the entire complex but that is not where the cure is being stored. There is a massive sublevel that lies under the entire complex and webs out 500 meters beyond the perimeters fences. The fence itself is guarded by seven watchtowers and highly trained snipers. You will have to take out exactly four in order to make a large enough area to get the entire team in and out. We hope that we can do this quietly however; if a full-scale firefight occurs and the entire complex is alerted then switch to plan B. just get to the inner complex, obtain the cure and get out. The complex it self is not very big. The only major part of the entire building is the sublevels. The inner complex should be in the middle of the building, on the first level and heavily guarded.

So here we are; on a plane, headed for a heavily guarded complex and seriously out manned. I hope that last part isn’t true. Kihba has remained silent for a while. I ask, “Need anything Hun?” he looks at me. His pink and white face conveys fear. He says, “I don’t know sweaty, I just feel off. I need sometime to think.” I kissed him and said, “Okay.” I left him alone for a while. The plane was large and with the amount of people in it, the size seemed to triple. Everything was quite, only the sound of the jet engines filled the cargo bay in which we were seated. The trip was boring aswell.

I don’t know how long it’s been since we left, but what I know is that when it’s time to go, I might just wish the trip was longer. I never jumped out of a plane before. Sure I’ve been on some terrifying carnival rides but nothing like this.

I wait for, what seems like hours, but soon I hear that dreaded voice over the intercom, “Okay, we’re over the drop zone, unbuckle your seat belts and stand clear of the cargo bay door.” Everyone on the plane did as the pilot instructed. Jason looked as if he did this many times before; while others had a look disquiet on there faces, and in their eyes, Jason was serene and tranquil.

I could see nothing but a blackened ground through the opening cargo bay door. We all lined up, the first one was Jason. There was a red light just above him, which turned green; and the second that light turned, Jason leaped from the plat form. I couldn’t see anything because the black ground; and nothing else.

The light was alternating between red and green, and every time it turned green, someone would jump. I was in front of Kihba and Logun, which meant I was going to have to leave Kihba. I turned to face him as the person in front of me jumped. I kissed him, thinking it was going to be my last time to ever embrace him. I broke the kiss, turned and as the green light lit up…I jumped.
…

Alan was gone out of my sight and suddenly I felt alone, vulnerable, and weak. The light hasn’t changed yet and I hope it never does. But I have to face the fact that it will. I was getting ready to jump when the intercom came on and the pilot yelled, “Get away from the cargo door NOW!” I reacted to the sudden voice and jumped anyway. For a couple second I thought I was dead; I felt weight less, I felt free.

…

I was the only one on the plane at the moment. The pilot warned to get away, and now I know why. The entire plane shook ad began to bank to the left. A loud siren was going off and I found myself rolling to the left side of the plane. “We’re hit, we’re hit, mayday, mayday. Brace for impact.”

I was scared as fuck and the terror just wouldn’t end. The plane seemed to spiral downwards and the entire contents of the cargo bay was either in the air or was, thankfully, held in place. Suddenly I could see nothing but a child in my eyes, somehow sitting on the ground. It looked like me; I felt something in me that made me crawl to it. I got closer and as I was in reach; it looked at me and said, “Bye dad.”

…

Thankfully the parachute opened and I was just gliding through the air. I could see the plane ablaze and plummeting to the ground. I was the second-to-the-last person off of it. The only person I knew who was still on there was Logun. I don’t know if he jumped because I can’t look up. I could see the ground below me getting closer. I pulled the handles down to slow my decent. In just a couple of seconds I felt the ground beneath my feet.

I had my gun with me, thankfully, when I jumped. I know Alan is somewhere ahead of me because I seen his parachute below me. I couldn’t steer mine to his direction because a strong wind was blowing me away. I quickly tested my head set, “Hello can any one hear me, report.” Static. I tried again, “Is anyone near me?” a slight crackle then, “Ye…Whe…You?” the voce was broken up by the destroyed trees around me, “Say again over.” I listened for a reply but I still heard static. I yelled, “Damn it is anyone out there!?” I heard a voice behind me, “Shut the fuck up, your going to alert someone.” I turned to see Alan. I ran to him and gave him a hug, “Oh thank god.” Alan said, “God had nothing to do with it. Now, let’s rendezvous with whoever’s out there.
…

I can’t find anyone around. Its dark out and my night vision got screwed in my landing. I had to use my thermal scope on my CheyTac Intervention in order to get around. I can’t see anything at the moment. All the trees around me are stripped of all vegetation however, the branches them selves are thick enough to the point that any image in my thermal looks broken up. I know exactly where I need to go. There seems to be a large light source ahead of me. I think that’s where the Complex is, but I’m not sure.

I hear a large crackling sound to my right. I point my rifle to the sound and see a broken white mass, which can only mean that there’s someone, or something right there. I walk to it and see there are two orbs. I get even closer.

…

I found Kihba but I didn’t find anybody else. Which means either everybody else is lost like us or dead. I hope it’s the first one. It’s a bit chilly out and the air smells of burnt wood and rotten flesh. I hear a loud crack to my right. I aim my SCAR-H towards the noise and notice it’s someone from our squad. I lower the barrel and say, “Who are you?” he stumbled but said, “I’m part of KIL” that was part of our entire team. I was part of team Specter, while there was a team named KIL or Kill, Infiltrate, Leave. And there’s team Eradication, there job is to nuke this entire area when we are clear. “What team are you?” I said, “Me and Kihba are part of Team Specter. We haven’t established contact with anybody but you." “Neither have I.” we all stopped talking when we heard a loud yell in the distance. I couldn’t tell what it was or where it was coming from. I just hope that isn’t Logun. “What’s your name?” I asked him. He said, “Hank; what’s yours?” I said, “My names Alan, I already introduced Kihba.” He walked to us and said, “Well we better get in position.”

The ground was littered with fallen branches and other undistinguishable objects. The smell of charred wood was beginning to give me a head ache. The end of the tree line was coming up so we slowed. I could see the light emanating from the facility, and I could hear the faint sound of moving equipment. We reached the tree line and I set up my Barrett .50 cal so I could pick off TOO’s (Targets Of Opportunity) I had a suppresser, so I didn’t have to worry about alerting anybody that didn’t need to be alerted. Hank had a FAMAS and an M9 pistol. Kihba had a Mossberg 500 shotgun and a .454 Casull in which he requested, but his primary job was to be a spotter. And that’s what he did.

Hank aimed the FAMAS at the guard tower. He had a small thermal scope so he would be able to see. I didn’t have a thermal, just a regular telescopic sight. I Knew the spotting scope had thermal so I’d have to rely on both Hank and Kihba to point out targets. Hank said, “I can see nine figures, two in the Guard tower, and seven on the ground around it. They are all spread out fair enough so you can pick one off without alerting any of the others. Start with the two in the Guard tower.” I aimed at the little hut on the Guard tower. The light was giving me a tactical advantage. I could see, clearly, silhouettes moving around; I counted nine. I said, “Distance?” Kihba was the only one with a range finder, so he said, “1,000 meters.” I doped my scope for that amount of distance. “Wind direction and speed?” a slight pause; then, “five miles an hour, to the west.” I knew I had to aim one mil to the left and half a mil above the target. This would be easy... if I had to shoot just one target.

I steadied my breathing and waited for the green light. Kihba said, “Clear.” And that was it. I pulled the trigger and let a round go. The suppresser made the blast sound like a tapping a pencil on a table. As quickly as I shot, I aimed at the second target and let one go. Both dropped and I took a breath. I waited for the other targets to react; they didn’t. I steadied my breathing again and started with the one to the far right. He was the most secluded. I let a round go and he dropped. I was popping rounds of and the targets were falling like dominoes. I heard Kihba say, “Alright, everything’s clear. Good work Hun.” I looked at him and smiled. “thank you my expert spotter.” I turned and faced Hank. I was going to say something but I was stopped by a voice coming through my head set, “Hello, anybody out there?” I replied. “Who is this?” a pause, then, “This is team KIL, what’s you’re position?” I looked around and said, “We’re at the west wing of the gate. Targets have been neutralized.” I pause, “Okay, good work, we’re at the west wing of the gate as well.” “How many are there?” “Thirty, We’re missing two.” I looked at Hank, “well go.” He looked through his scope. “There they are.” He stood up and talked into his head set, “I’m coming.” He began to walk to the gate when suddenly I saw a flash in my scope and then the next second my face was covered in a blood and my eyes were stinging. The head set started to crackle. I heard gun shots In the distance. A voice came through the crackling head set, “Jesus Christ we’re taking fire from all directions.” The next thing I knew, the alarm was going off.” I felt something behind me launch me forward and in the air, I felt weightless then I smashed into the ground. Black.
…

My body hurts and everything else is either bleeding or broken. I look around and see the wreckage of the plane maybe a hundred feet away. Everything in the plane liters the ground. I still have my USP .45 on me. I pull it out of the holster and try to fight the pain in my arm. I can hear dissenter gun shoots, but something else is catching my attention; I can hear the wails of the diseased not far from here. They know were I am; how could they not? There’s a massive signal right there in front of me. The wails get louder and suddenly I can see a silhouette sprinting at me. I lift my gun and fire. The beast falls but that thing is followed by a massive horde. I find myself firing round after round. A lot of them fall but they just seem to keep coming. I lift the gun to my head and pull the trigger. *click* ‘FUCK!’

10 years later.

Journal entry 47. July 18th 2025.

Today’s my birth day. I’m excited about it to. The world seems to be on the right track. The cure was found and extracted. Everybody but Logun came back. There is always going to be men like him around. But none LIKE what he was. I adopted a child who lost his mother a while back. Alan has become the first president of the New united states. He married Kihba and he became the first MAN. HAHA, I don’t know if I can continue this journal anymore. It reminds me of Logun to much. This is the last time I shall ever put a pen to the papers of this journal. Good bye.

I closed the journal and decided to skim over the pages to look at the amount of pages that I wrote. It was almost full except for the last few pages. I was going to close it entirely until I noticed some writing at the very last few pages. I never got to that point. I looked at it closely and noticed it was Logun’s hand writing. The entire page said, “Xander, if you are reading this, then I’m dead. Because I wasn’t I would of never of let you get this far. I loved you. And you knew it. I wanted you to know that when you were shoot, it wasn’t an accident. I knew this was a suicide mission and I wanted you to stay behind. I know it was a horrible thing to did but I did it out of love. I can never show you how much I loved you. All you need to know is that I hope you have a wonderful life after I’m gone. And if Alan or Kihba comeback, then read this to them. I want everyone to know that I love them. Oh and one last thing. Don’t dwell on the past Sweaty; you’ll just hurt yourself more.”

I could see the rumpled spot of a tear on the page.I set the journal down and let a tear, which formed at the edge of my eye lid, to fall. I seemed to fall in slow motion. I could see it twisting and finally splash into the wood flow. It was lost in the oak. I stood up and walked to the closet. I opened the door and buried the journal in all the junk, hoping that I never find it again. My son walked in, “what are you doing dad?” he was a fox, looked just like Logun. And he was just about 10 years old. I loved him to death. I said, “Oh nothing Luke, just looking at my dirty closet.” He laughed, “Okay, what are we going to eat for dinner dad?” I picked him up. For 10 years old he’s quite light. I replied, “Anything you want Luke, anything you want” I held him close; I didn’t want to lose him like lost Luke. He knew something was wrong because he hugged me right back. I cried into his little shoulder. He didn’t make a sound he just hugged me. I stopped and broke the hug and said, “I love you.” He smiled, “I love you too dad.”

5 years later

Everything has changed; the people, the population and even the environment. I’
M starting to love the New United States. I lost my house due to low income, but Kihba and Alan took me and Luke in. I love them for that. They are a happy couple, and Alan was reelected for a second term as president. He even has time to spend with us now.

I sent Luke to our old house so he could get anything we forgot. It’s still vacant but I can no longer afford it. Kihba seems to love the fact that I’m here. He has someone to talk to during Alan’s days out. And I love the fact that they love ME here. I feel as though I’m imposing but they just say, ‘We survived a nuclear holocaust together, there’s no need to split up now. Everybody misses Logun and we have a memorial to him at the front street of the white house. It reads, “Even though he is not here, he influences each and every ones lives because if it were not for him, you would not be reading this.”

It has been five hours since I sent Luke to the old house but eventually I heard a knock on the door and was fallowed by the sound of it opening. I heard Luke’s voice, “Hey dad?” I said, “What?” he rounded the corner and was holding something in his hand. “What’s this?” I looked at it and said, “I don’t know, let me see.” This got the attention of Alan and Kihba who were in the living room. They both walked in, “What going on.” Luke handed me the object. I dusted it of and noticed that it was the same journal I wrote in five years ago. I opened it up to the first page and said, “This was your dads work.” Kihba and Alan said, “Who Logun?” I nodded my head and started to read the very first journal entry.





Journal entry 1 2015, January 18th. Food supply: Minimal. Ammo supply: Critical

I’ve been at this for along time; a hell of a lot longer then this first Journal entry. The only reason why I’m doing this is because I need something to do during my down time.