Warning: you may want a tissue...sad poem ahead...
Written at a moments notice for a lore night this week. enjoy!
The Great Mothers Eye
Guides and glows bright
For her children to see
In darkness from tree
To pad sure and true
To push our way through
Into her sacred grove
Where treasures are stowed
The lonely pup waits
For mothers kind tastes
Of meat from the hunt
Made from deers rump
But lonely is still
For some terrible will
Has taken from that kit
The mothers own wit
And silence hovers loud
Over deaths painful shroud
And all that survives
Is the mothers dead eyes
For the pup wandered far
And there came with a scar
A bear that rendered the end
To the life so short to suspend
The mother returns with fear
For no sound can she hear
Of her youngling near or far
To help discover where you are
And now, all alone
The mother will moan
And wander in pain from hearts demise
She howled her heartstrings into the skies
And no answer came back to put her at ease
But the glow of the Great Mothers Eye and the breeze
As the salty waters dripped to the ground
The fae could not hear the rustling sound
And swift quick and true
From out of the blue
Came the claw of the bear
Tearing flesh from the hair
And the mothers heart lay there in two...
Written at a moments notice for a lore night this week. enjoy!
The Great Mothers Eye
Guides and glows bright
For her children to see
In darkness from tree
To pad sure and true
To push our way through
Into her sacred grove
Where treasures are stowed
The lonely pup waits
For mothers kind tastes
Of meat from the hunt
Made from deers rump
But lonely is still
For some terrible will
Has taken from that kit
The mothers own wit
And silence hovers loud
Over deaths painful shroud
And all that survives
Is the mothers dead eyes
For the pup wandered far
And there came with a scar
A bear that rendered the end
To the life so short to suspend
The mother returns with fear
For no sound can she hear
Of her youngling near or far
To help discover where you are
And now, all alone
The mother will moan
And wander in pain from hearts demise
She howled her heartstrings into the skies
And no answer came back to put her at ease
But the glow of the Great Mothers Eye and the breeze
As the salty waters dripped to the ground
The fae could not hear the rustling sound
And swift quick and true
From out of the blue
Came the claw of the bear
Tearing flesh from the hair
And the mothers heart lay there in two...
Category Poetry / All
Species Wolf
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 1.4 kB
Listed in Folders
Thank you very much for the suggestions. I really wasnt putting much thought into the spacing when i put this together as i should have been. I meant to go back and add punctuation as well, but kinda forgot about it when i went to work on other projects =^-^;=
I will most likely end up editing the poem here sometime to fix these things as you suggested. Thanks again for the input. I really do appreciate it.
I will most likely end up editing the poem here sometime to fix these things as you suggested. Thanks again for the input. I really do appreciate it.
No problem. A good example of this is something I've actually done.
Original = http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2124460/
After punctuation / editing = http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3660938/
Makes it look more professional along with overall upping it's status in my opinion.
Original = http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2124460/
After punctuation / editing = http://www.furaffinity.net/view/3660938/
Makes it look more professional along with overall upping it's status in my opinion.
FA+

Comments