Do you have animals constantly ripping your swimsuit?

Is your favorite suit not fitting like it used to?

Or is that bikini of your dreams cost an arm and a leg?

Well have no fear good people. Introducing: "THE ETERNITY SUIT" the latest in swimwear that will appeal to all ages and genders. Straight from the jungle, made from the finest materials from...Wait, John! What are they made of..? Oh...Okay...Anyway, made from the finest materials heh...The Eternity suits are soft, comfortable, stretchy and unbreakable. They come in the bikini style for the ladies and the speedo style for the guys. They come in thousands of colors and patterns.

How does it work you ask?

Well, at first they come out the size of a fold up napkin, but these beauties can stretch to any size. Tall, short, big, small, busty, bulky? NO PROBLEM~ The Eternity Suit can even withstand the strength of an armored truck. Now that's stretchy.

How Soft are they?

They have the comfort of luxury underwear, so not only can you wear them during swimming, you can wear them like underwear too. Now that's convenient~

How much are they?

I'm sure with something this nice, it must cost like millions. Let me tell you folks that they're free. A kind jungle girl is giving them away to all her new friends...Sniff...god what a sweet girl...give me a few minutes...

"ETERNITY SUITS" Feel the force of the wild today~ ...Really John, that's the best we could come up with..?