Team disappointments adds a new ranger.

eventually yhelm's going to have a chapter where she talks to her mother you know?

OH MY GOD THIS WAS WHOLESOME AND ADORABLE

Also love-link sense-sharing sex wow lewd

aaa thank you

and look maddie and yhelm know how to have a good time

I know I say this like every time I comment on your writing but I love it and I love your worldbuilding and the way you convey it so so effortlessly through dialogue

look even if you copy-paste the same comment, it's still someone commenting on my writing on furaffinity, which is hecking RARE no one ever reads my shit

I love the cultural elements and the way you delve and develop into languages. Latyz has the most adorable accent. The sense of family is really strong, right down to the bickering and the grumping; it helps your characters foil off each other and really gives a greater roundness to their characters, especially Yhelm, since a lot of what we've seen has been her at work, so to speak.

ahh, thankyou thankyou

i actually have very little sense of family irl so writing about families being like

emotionally connected is alien fantasy to me

You do it well, though. And maybe that's for the better because it helps you see what should be there. I mean, that's what I tell myself anyway, because it's much the same way for me.
They're really well-written siblings, and the pairings are really great, too, with that right sense of connectedness but a different kind of connectedness, right down to the language and the way they talk to each other and handle one-another. The stuff you could never accept from one person being expected and okay from another.

Its nice to she her get some positive interaction with her family. You often do very edgy characters. Not a critic just an observation. They are not all likable but, they are always captivating and interesting. Yhelm is a fav of mine though and I root for her. She is always trying to be edgy but not too edgy. It seem like that sums up bad boy. "Be and edge knight, not and edge lord" I think seeing her thoughts on things is fun. Lis is fun too. Wish you would write a novel on these characters.

yhelm's immdiate boss corbis is pretty edgy, so it's ok

but yes you definitely get bad boy, i am glad

Bad Boy is a v good influence

bad boy is the best boy

I hate to break it to you folks, but Afternoon Sale will discover your betrayal. She's the Heir of Coffee and Cafes, it's in her portfolio to know where her regulars go to have coffee, and food with coffee.

afternoon sale made an appearance in an UWi tabletop i run, once

one of the players tried to cause trouble in her cafe and she stitched herself a half-dozen extra arms in a single turn and used them to grapple the player character and keep them out of trouble forcibly

she is in fact very powerful

I envy your ability to incorporate worldbuilding into dialog so smoothly. And Latyzell is wonderful.

i once read a really shitty furry story that was set in "medieval era, but they're furries" but the author was so proud of their three pages' worth of worldbuilding they, on the first page of their story, put in a paragraph-long footnote about the history of some fictional political issue of wolf noble houses and their relations to some other generic furry species, and it did nothing but brag hollow about "look at my world! aren't i clever!"

i swore at that moment to never make worldbuilding the focus of a story, ever; to not make my stories 10 pages about how my setting works, but to have 500 page documents about how the setting works, and instead of turning my stories into excuses to paste excerpts like it's an encyclopedia, but to force people to figure things out through context, knowing that the human mind automatically installs context into gaps that are left for it and does it better than i could, anyway

you don't need latyzell to sit down and go "here's how being a worshiper of a god works, as you already know," you just get him gushing happily about one of his passions the same way anyone who actually enjoys their job would talk about why they enjoy it

one of my favorite sci fi short stories is a modern story done as a sci fi story, including scenes of characters talking about airplanes, and remarking on how "you know, it's wild to think that a short half-century ago, this trip would have taken several months; but thanks to the invention of these metal aeroplanes, we can travel from one location to another in mere hours" "yes, that has also had a marked affect on our culture globally, which i will now expound upon despite it being a normal fact of life for us"

fuck that if the characters all know how something works i will at the most have a character spend one clause giving it context for the reader's sake and even then i feel dirty

people are smart figure out the setting on your own, that's my motto

plus stuff like Yhelm talking about upper Retlayn language isn't meant to go "look at this con-lang i have thirty words for!" it's meant to go "yhelm is taking this advantage to show off her superior education that despite being an adversary and dressing in a leather bomber jacket she's just as if not more educated than her lawclerk brother and accountant sister, but she's really going at it defensively which means she's probably had to defend her own education and intelligence before and it's a sore spot for her, and she's clearly proud of it, but she talks about it dismissively too because she has a complex relationship with her own status as an educated person"

honestly this is the advice i give to people who come to me to help learn to write, among other things such as never using a pre-constructed sentence but instead carefully picking EVERY single word and phrasing so it's unique to the story and what you need it to do, pick it in a way that it does multiple things, always. always have every sentence perform multiple functions.

for example, i'm taking this advantage to show off my superior education that despite being a poorly-employed furry weirdo i'm just as if not more educated than most of the people i've worked for, but i'm really going at it defensively which means i've probably had to... etc.

real life is also just a fiction, and realization of this allows transcendence into the court of the mind of god, which is you

On one of my early stories on here, someone commented that I used a bit too much "Expospeak" in the dialog and it's something I've tried to remain conscious of ever since. The immersiveness really makes the experience better.

And GOD I love the feeling of finding the exact right word to convey the exact nuance of meaning that I want.

yeah writing is kind of a dire game here on furaffinity you are one of the few people whose writing looks like someone actually put effort in rather than just replaced words from stock sentences it's SO RARE LOOK AT HOW EGOTISTICAL AND ELITIST I AM NOW

it's why i hate people who call themselves authors and writers they're usually SO FULL OF THEMSELVES god eat me devour into an oroborus before i become this i am an infinite coil