Synopsis: Kantuck, a trusted advisor of her village finds herself besieged by a strange and terrible anger that threatens to consume her very spirit. So profound are these feelings that she finds herself undergoing an unfathomable transformation into a creature of myth and legend. Seeking out a cure for her affliction, or understanding; whichever would dare come first, Kantuck finds herself in the company of the Spirits whom she hopes can help tame her inner darkness before it engulfs her entirely.

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The Light of Darkness

by K9Lupus

Kantuck hailed from a distant village, far beyond the familiar stretches of mountainous valleys and plains that the nomadic tribes called home. There she served as one of the chief's most trusted advisors. On matters of diplomacy, Kantuck was unrivaled. Her presence had proven pivotal on more than one occasion in quelling disputes between the neighboring tribes, but in recent days the chief of Kantuck's village had observed a strange and troubling change come over his beloved friend. Kantuck would become besieged by unexpected fits of rage and anger she readily directed out towards others. Her otherwise pristine judgment grew clouded and marred beneath the strength of her powerful emotions, and she found great difficulty enjoying many of the tasks that had previously brought her joy. The other villagers claimed that the influence of the Spirits were at work, and the chief was inclined to agree with them. He assured them the matter would be addressed.

In secret the chief met with Kantuck to discuss the concerns of the other villagers. Kantuck sank her head low after hearing all the chief had to say.

“I do not know the nature of what troubles me so greatly. Inside it feels as if the whole world has wronged me, that I struggle against a force unseen. I am fractured, yet still standing. For all my work in unifying the many peoples of our homeland, I have failed to bring that feeling of wholeness to my own heart.”

“Then you must go to restore the peace that has been broken within you.” the chief said. “Steady your mind, and the rest shall follow.”

At first light Kantuck wandered far into the woods with only the clothes strewn about her bodily flesh. For four straight days she walked; she slept little and ate none, nourishing herself only by the water found in puddles along the path of her Longwalk.

On the eve of the 4th day she discovered a large hut surrounding a mighty stand of watchful birch trees. The hut was fashioned in the manner of the sacred sweat lodges with an array of animal furs adorning its sloped roof. Kantuck knelt at the entrance of the hut, sitting respectfully back on her heels for it assuredly belonged to a great and powerful spirit.

By the time she cast her eyes back up, Kantuck had been transported inside. The area of the hut was much larger than it had appeared from the outside and along the walls were every array and sample of the forest's bounty. The dark, beady eyes of Bear bore down upon the woman, assessing the visitor before him.

“For what reason do you travel to such a place as this?” Bear said with a rough bellow and a stomp of a large, clawed foot.

“I have been troubled by thoughts and feelings which overcome my senses. I fear that my connection to the earth and to myself has been severed by a trouble which is nameless and grows within me because it can not be tamed.” Kantuck answered.

Bear nodded, then crouched low beside the bed of heated coals seated at center of the room, stoking them back to a furious vigor with a gentle breath through his wide nose.

“The sweat shall bring to light the struggles which you hide from yourself. Know this well and keep it, wandering doe. Fire shall invoke change, air shall carry perspective, water shall guide transition, and earth shall forge reconciliation.”

Kantuck was immersed in the plumes of purifying steam, and experienced a disorienting lurch and pull from within. Her sight became foggy, and her body swayed from side to side. Discomfort became anger which bubbled further over into rage, a broiling untamed fury without purpose, the most destructive of its kind. A coat of ebony, coarse hairs grew like wildfire across her skin, and a long, curling tail sprouted from the end of her spine. Kantuck's hands and feet distorted themselves into sets of massive paws tipped with white claws, while an extra set of forelimbs emerged from the space of her elongated torso. Lengthened fangs capable of piercing the thickest of hides erupted from her jaw and filled the space of her still-extending, rounded muzzle. With the last of her former humanity inverted, Kantuck trembled to shakily stand as a bestial, menacing entity of her rage incarnate.

The newly forged midnight-black wampus cat locked a set of glowing eyes upon Bear, sinking low with haunches tensed ready to pounce. She snarled a terrible scream at Bear, her sensibilities lost in the void of her unwelcome transformation. Bear answered back, voicing a mighty roar that shook the heated stones cold and tossed Kantuck into a swift slumber.

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For four days and nights Kantuck slept outside of Bear's hut, and in that time her mind accepted the alterations of her body. When she finally stirred, Bear was seated before her, the leathery pads of one of his palms stroking her furry brow as he hummed a wordless tune. When he finished, he spoke with a gentleness and care that soothed Kantuck's already tensing limbs.

“Race forth like an unsung melody. The truth is waiting there for you to find it. Remember, what befalls you is not a blight, but a remedy.”

Kantuck rose and dashed off away from Bear's hut and into the surrounding forest. The effects of Bear's soothing song was already fading as her six, synchronized limbs churned across the landscape in a blazing ball of fury. She cried out as she went, scattering all manner of bird and beast away lest they face her unbridled wrath. Kantuck's lungs seared inside her chest, but still she pressed on. The path rose up into the distance, reaching a pinnacle at the end of a grassy vista.

Settled there among the long, swinging arms of grass was a small, dark shape. Crow, bringer of the first fire, was perched on the rocky edge looking over the rest of the area. Kantuck sank low, her tail lashing behind her as she made rigid the muscles in her hindmost limbs. Then she leapt.

Crow turned, his swirling black eyes nonchalantly watching the angry creature approaching him mid-air. He flapped his wings once, sending Kantuck's body up and over only to find empty air beneath her paws as she tumbled over the side of the cliff face. The cool brush of wind's breath passed over her fur while her spine twisted and turned. Over and over she feebly tried to grip her dagger-like claws into the rocky side, but to no avail. As the ground grew nearer, she realized that in her churlish act of challenge she had sealed her own fate. The Great Sleep would be granted to her soon.

Although Kantuck had surrendered to Fate, it would not have her this day. A new gust, more powerful than that of any storm she had ever witnessed blew upon her from her belly, and the wampus cat creature slowed in air until she landed with a softened, yet still notable thump on the ground below. Crow appeared thereafter, obviously well-pleased with his handiwork.

“You would do well to mind your manners young seed, although I will say that it has been some time since any have dared to challenge me in so direct a manner. Your boldness saves you today, but I see that this form, a feeling latched within your spirit threatens to consume you entirely.” Crow said as he stepped towards Kantuck with outstretched wings.

“I only seek to understand what's been plaguing me.” Kantuck answered, creeping back until her rump met the cold stone of the cliff behind.

“Then you should take heed of what can be learned from the air. In its motions it can carry away any of the worries you bare. It teaches weightlessness, vigilance, and movement along the currents provided to you, for even I claim no dominion over their vast invisible tracks through the sky. Otherwise, you're just waiting. Hoping it would call out again. That anger inside you and all of us.

Now you've heard the shadow's reckoning. It's your fears that have kept you blinded Bold One. Rise above them. Know that even anger has a place among the night-fires of the sky as it sometimes flushes the moon's face crimson. However, anger does not change the fundamental nature of things. It is expression, and all expression has its place and time. Heed my words Bold One, and you'll find what you seek within the air.”

Then with a mighty flap of his wings, Crow launched himself into the air, the shadowy silhouette of his body cradled within the blazing ring of the sun until he vanished entirely. Kantuck pondered Crow's wisdom, and sat there at the base of the cliff for four days and four nights, feeling the changing air currents flow between the heat of day and the chill of night.

In that time she gained understanding of the world and herself, and found with it that the changes that had befallen her had eased back to a degree. Although she still traversed the world with all six limbs greeting the earth, an added dexterity had returned to her front and rearmost paws along with a reduced severity of the features of her face.

Still, in all her reflection she found Crow's wisdom incomplete and knew she needed to continue her search for her own truth elsewhere.

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In time, Kantuck found herself at the edge of a vast lake pooled at the base of an impossibly high waterfall. She lowered her head to drink and spotted a glint at the water's surface out of the corner of her eye.

“Who's there?” she called out to the ripples that scattered in every direction. A new splash sounded from further away before the massive form of Sturgeon, ferrywoman of spirits, appeared in a grand arc above the water before crashing down with a splash. She swam silently and laid beside Kantuck in the shallows.

“You do well to perceive me. Although I also see that your thoughts are more disturbed than the water's surface from my display just now.”

“I seek to understand myself.” Kantuck said, stretching out the digits of one of her paw-like hands within the water.

“Then you should bare witness to the lessons of the water. It is transient, always moving like the pulse of life Watchful One. It teaches the wielding of power with flow and grace, to take charge of the pursuit of your goals with clarity. In its waves and coursing paths you'll carve your own way in time with minimal resistance, for even my wide reach extends not to the depths of its deepest mouth.

To fail in this instruction would be an unforgivable tragedy. Surely you'll discover the answer isn't where you think you'd find it. You must prepare yourself for the reckoning that will take place when your world seems to crumble again. Life is a matter of cycles after all. Heed my words Watchful One, and you'll find what you seek within the water.”

Then with a powerful flick of her tail, Sturgeon submerged herself back towards the deep of the lake, the slate-gray glitter of her scales soon vanishing from view. Kantuck pondered Sturgeon's wisdom, and sat there at the edge of the lake for four days and nights observing the play of light on the surface of the water, watching the lake transform beneath the vigil of the sun or moon.

Again she gained an increased understanding of the world and herself, and found that her changes had eased back even further still. She could once more stand upright, and her once lengthy tail had shrunken down to a shadow of its former glory.

Still, in all her reflection she found Sturgeon's wisdom incomplete like Crow's had been and knew she needed to continue her search for her own truth elsewhere still.

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Kantuck's continued wandering took her past the the watery edge of Sturgeon's domain towards the open mouth of a cave rimmed with jagged, pale-grey stalactites. She descended lower into the network of caves with a bold disregard for the sharp, rocky edges that surrounded her. Despite the prod and poke of the uneven ground against her sets of feet as she was forced to crawl in places, she pressed forward all the same, placing trust in her acute senses.

But even her powerful night-vision did little to peer through the near-absolute darkness, eroding away her billowing confidence. Then came a sinking feeling. Surrounded. Empty. Alone. Kantuck was alone, by her own volition no less. She crumpled forward, her chin resting aginst the cold, hard ground as her despair seized her until a pale amber glow illuminated the distant chamber of the cave, bringing with it the approaching shadow of a figure.

Around Mole's face danced wisps of fire that flowed down his back in a fiery cloak. Yellowed, gnarled claws tipped the ends of his massive hands. He studied Kantuck with curiosity, and chuckled to himself.

“You must be lost.” he said in his slow, measured speech.

“In more ways than one by the looks of it. Come. The caves have much to show if you can keep up.” he continued.

Despite Mole's robust stature, he moved efficiently, his clawed feet sliding across the damp, rocky ground. Deeper Kantuck and Mole descended, and the air filled itself with the damp smell of ancient stone. The path ahead gave way to a bifurcated fork, both paths leading into identical pitch-black darkness. Then, with a grand rumble Mole's heft slumped down into a sudden seated position facing Kantuck at the junction.

“What's the meaning of this? Isn't there still yet further for us to go?” Kantuck demanded.

“Here in the dark you must extended your senses always beyond yourself. To live in the dark is to live alongside the rest of the world. It is in the dark that potential meets possibility to create opportunity.
The earth beneath our feet moves on a far different scale than most are used to. Countless seasons may pass before the mountain's face is reshaped; lands grow and shrink with the mighty rumbles of Bison's thundering hooves beneath the surface.

It is only by having a perspective much larger than oneself that one can truly appreciate the true speed of life. Slowing down is not a sign of laziness or lack of merit; it is an intention of choice to be closer to this process that governs us all.” Mole ended with a content smile.

“I do not understand. Are we to wait until we know which way to go?” Kantuck said to the earthen spirit.

“Only until you know which direction yields that which you seek.” Mole answered with a grin.

Kantuck dragged a widened hand across her furry brow, what was left of her tail lashing quickly behind her. Seeing no way out but to act in accordance with Mole's whimsies, she folded her legs beneath herself and joined Mole in their mutual waiting.

And long did they sit. The flame of Mole's torch burned down to its end and still they moved not a muscle. For four days and nights darkness enveloped them both, and in this immobile paralysis Kantuck was reminded of the feelings that had elicited her dramatic transformation. The bubbling of her anger surfaced once more, but now with it came the cooling images of rolling tides and flowing breezes to quell the flames of her frustrations before they successfully overwhelmed her.

In their extended silence she became aware of many hidden intricacies of the caves: dripping of ancient water, the singular croak of a blind frog creeping along the ceiling, and something else nearly invisible. A breeze. A faint breath of wind came from one of the paths, and where there was air, there would eventually be light as well.

“We go that way.” Kantuck affirmed, her muscles stiff from her meditative stance.

“Then lead us that way.” Mole said, bowing graciously to Kantuck and allowing her to hold his grand torch that had been kindled anew with flame.

Mole and Kantuck continued down the blackened paths, rising and falling until rounding a jutting bend a slivered lance of near-forgotten light radiated down the length of their approach. Kantuck looked down to see the beam splitting her body, a corporeal reminder that she had gratefully faded into the realm of spirits in her dark wanderings. Her pace quickened as Kantuck sought out the open mouth of her freedom, digging her claws into the unyielding rock beneath her as she sloped up into the full blanket of the setting afternoon sun drifting down across the tree line.

In its golden, fading glow, Kantuck saw her feline features had once more retreated. Her face and ears were still partially distorted, but the extra set of limbs along her midsection had vanished. Her bronzed skin shone in large stretches through the lingering clumps of darkened hairs. Behind her, Mole had vanished, assuredly back to his patrol among the caves. Kantuck, confident with the wisdoms she had collected, continued forward to where her village lay beyond the mighty stands of trees below.

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Kantuck descended down through the forest and picked her way through fields of long, summer grasses. She neared the edge of her village, its smoky fires carrying the scent of drying meat for miles around. Although she had traveled far on her introspective journey, there was still one final matter to attend to. Homage must be paid to the spirit that had started her on her way. She traveled the four days' journey back to the grand hut of Bear, but when she finally returned she found that it was greatly altered.

Where once Bear's grand structure of wood and furs stood was a lonely stump with roots radiating out far around into the surrounding area. A slight acrid odor tinged against Kantuck's nostrils. This place of bounty was void of any life: birds were absent, the drone of cicadas absent, and the whines and yips of other creatures were nowhere to be found. Kantuck approached the stump, which faintly pulsed with a warm energy.

Her hand traced across the dozens of concentric, radiating rings; a wooden pond frozen in time. Trembles at her fingertips blossomed into rumbles of energy, and the forest gave way to a murky mist. Kantuck found herself swirling and plummeting through an expansive, endless void. Blotches of colors coalesced into strange and troubling scenes: enormous metal birds, snakes, and ants spewed plumes of darkened clouds that marred the glorious face of the sun, great, seeping furrows gouged deep into the land, and then she saw again and again the sights of an anger unmatched by kin she did not recognize. Unrivaled even in her all-consuming rage, Kantuck feared she'd be submerged forever in their intention to abandon their place in the cycles.

Kantuck reeled back from the force of her mighty visions, and clenched her hand tightly at her chest. Connected to this ancient vein of space and time she had seen what could potentially be, and what she desperately hoped would not come to pass. She slunk back, the last of her desperate lashings against the world and herself abated along with what remained of her changes. A new purpose ignited within Kantuck. She would serve as arbiter of the message and carry it back to her village. Time would be of the essence if anything could be done to avoid the fate that she had been burdened with.

Kantuck rushed in swift strides back to her village. The anger and rage that she felt before had now gone to sleep. It still had a place within her heart and spirit, able to be invoked when needed, but now would be directed with focus towards the purpose granted to her from her vision.

Once at the chief's teepee, she ducked inside and greeted him. She was met by his celebratory woops seeing his friend returned once more, a new light shining in her eyes.

“Kantuck! You return! What wisdom have you gained from your travels?” the chief said, welcoming his advisor back to her spot and promptly sending out for a feast to be fashioned in honor of her return.

Kantuck thought long and hard about what to say. She thought of Bear, Crow, Sturgeon, and Mole who had all contributed to the peace she now felt. She settled on a single concept to summate her journey before uttering a few choice words.

"To not let hope become a memory."

END

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This project was commissioned by and is one of my personal favorite pieces to date. Traditional oral storytelling and native motifs abound here to help showcase the will of a strong woman facing a terribly difficult internal challenge and reckoning of the self. Each of these Spirits, like the people we surround ourselves in life by all have something to teach us, if we are wiling to listen and to brush against our perceptions of the world and ourselves. Especially in these uncertain times we find ourselves in now, it can be difficult to find a steady path on quaking ground beneath us, but all steps have value; even the ones that sometimes slip backward in the pursuit of our goals because they demonstrate we are emmeshed in the pursuit of our own happiness, our own light.

Link to inspiration song for your listening pleasure: Disturbed - The Light

Stay safe. Stay whole. Find your light.

~Lupus

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Interested in getting a story commissioned by me? I am currently open! I'd love to get the chance to bring your ideas to life. My commission info can be found here:

K9 Lupus Commission Info

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