FA+
Shop
267
Views
Views
5
Favorites
Favorites
Category
Story / General Furry Art
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120
File Size 5 kB
Report this content
More from VelvetKittie
Well, this actually turned out quite different from what I originally thought... It has been a couple of weeks since I last submitted an entry for 
poetigress's Thursday Prompt, due to how busy I have been on my other projects, and because of other factors. But this week's Prompt, of April 22nd, 2010, was "play". That just so totally screamed 'Celeste' all over! I had thought it would be no problem at all to come up with a short story about our favorite ditz of a fluffy cat that would have everyone in tears of laughter! But muses can be fickle, and when your muse is Celeste the airhead... well, just see for yourself here.
Of course:
Celeste Monroe is © me
Mara Peterson is also © me
poetigress's Thursday Prompt, due to how busy I have been on my other projects, and because of other factors. But this week's Prompt, of April 22nd, 2010, was "play". That just so totally screamed 'Celeste' all over! I had thought it would be no problem at all to come up with a short story about our favorite ditz of a fluffy cat that would have everyone in tears of laughter! But muses can be fickle, and when your muse is Celeste the airhead... well, just see for yourself here.Of course:
Celeste Monroe is © me
Mara Peterson is also © me
Category Story / General Furry Art
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 5 kB
*giggles softly*
Hee hee, oh yes! I was trying to convey a feeling of doom with that first sentence... because Celeste bored IS doom!
I'm real glad you liked it, darling! Hee hee, yes, even when Mara is brought to the end of her patience, she can still be crafty... she has lived with Celeste long enough to develop that!
*hugs*
I really loved your entry too, that was a really really sweet ones
Hee hee, oh yes! I was trying to convey a feeling of doom with that first sentence... because Celeste bored IS doom!
I'm real glad you liked it, darling! Hee hee, yes, even when Mara is brought to the end of her patience, she can still be crafty... she has lived with Celeste long enough to develop that!
*hugs*
I really loved your entry too, that was a really really sweet ones
Heh, sneaky sneaky. I like that solution.
Your setup seems to be a little out of place, though. Your first four paragraphs are just a mirror of the dialog later, and although the dialog sets he situation better than the expository description at the beginning, it seems repetitive. The situation can still be exciting, even if the characters are bored. You just need to be more concise and add more actual events to the story.
Also, the fifth paragraph signals a break in perspective, from Mara's to Celeste's. It's only for a moment, but it takes us out of Mara's position as she struggles to find a solution. Especially in a piece this short, you want to stay consistent with which character you have us follow.
Your setup seems to be a little out of place, though. Your first four paragraphs are just a mirror of the dialog later, and although the dialog sets he situation better than the expository description at the beginning, it seems repetitive. The situation can still be exciting, even if the characters are bored. You just need to be more concise and add more actual events to the story.
Also, the fifth paragraph signals a break in perspective, from Mara's to Celeste's. It's only for a moment, but it takes us out of Mara's position as she struggles to find a solution. Especially in a piece this short, you want to stay consistent with which character you have us follow.
Hee, thank you, dear, I'm glad you liked that little twist!
*giggles*
As for the repetitive set-up and the slight inconsistency... well, I blame Celeste! She is my muse, and she is an airhead, plus she was bored, so, yeh, she didn't inspire me all too well here! Well, that, and I only threw this together in like half an hour or something, and only proofread it once for spelling errors, not for grammatical or build-up flaws
But nevertheless, thank you for your advice! I will most certainly keep it in mind and heed it in my future short stories
*giggles*
As for the repetitive set-up and the slight inconsistency... well, I blame Celeste! She is my muse, and she is an airhead, plus she was bored, so, yeh, she didn't inspire me all too well here! Well, that, and I only threw this together in like half an hour or something, and only proofread it once for spelling errors, not for grammatical or build-up flaws
But nevertheless, thank you for your advice! I will most certainly keep it in mind and heed it in my future short stories
I can only see this backfiring on Mara as Celeste gets a bunch of people in the town into a huge game of tag. That girl's cheerfulness really is quite infectious.
And I have a question regarding the naughty Celeste flashback: is it going to be one of your longer stories? Similar in length to "ferals just wanna have fun"? I'm pretty sure I know the answer, but I want to hear it from you
And I have a question regarding the naughty Celeste flashback: is it going to be one of your longer stories? Similar in length to "ferals just wanna have fun"? I'm pretty sure I know the answer, but I want to hear it from you
Haha! Oh yes, I would so totally not be surprised if Cee would think up something like that... although my own initial thought was that she would go into the living room, take her mouse... uhhh, her hamster, tag her, and then take her to Mara's study and put her on Mara's shoulder, saying something like "Fluffball tagged you! Now you're it again!"
*grins*
As for the naughty flashback story... oh yes, that is even going WAY beyond the length of "Ferals just wanna have fun"! That story measured a bit over 5 pages in my MS Word... the Cee flashback story already measures a full 11!
Although I had to revise it a bit, as I suddenly got a fit of inspiration on how to use that story for big big future development of the Mara/Celeste universe, too!
*grins*
As for the naughty flashback story... oh yes, that is even going WAY beyond the length of "Ferals just wanna have fun"! That story measured a bit over 5 pages in my MS Word... the Cee flashback story already measures a full 11!
Although I had to revise it a bit, as I suddenly got a fit of inspiration on how to use that story for big big future development of the Mara/Celeste universe, too!
*giggles and nods*
Exactly! That's what Mara figured; knowing Celeste, it would take the kitty at least an hour or two to think of a solution, which would give Mara the two hours she had been pleading with Celeste to be left alone so she could finish her work! It's not that she did not want to play with her kitty, or get rid of Cee, but she just wanted to have Cee out of her hair for a little period of time so she could concentrate on her work, ensuring that she would also be able to give her full concentration to her kitty once her work was done!
I'm glad you enjoyed the story, dear! And who knows what all else may be coming in the future of these two...
Exactly! That's what Mara figured; knowing Celeste, it would take the kitty at least an hour or two to think of a solution, which would give Mara the two hours she had been pleading with Celeste to be left alone so she could finish her work! It's not that she did not want to play with her kitty, or get rid of Cee, but she just wanted to have Cee out of her hair for a little period of time so she could concentrate on her work, ensuring that she would also be able to give her full concentration to her kitty once her work was done!
I'm glad you enjoyed the story, dear! And who knows what all else may be coming in the future of these two...
*giggles and winks*
Who said I didn't like how this story came out? I only said it came out quite differently from how I initially expected it to be!
*laughs*
But thank you! I'm really glad you liked it so much, dear!
Haha, indeed... that was the whole intention of that opening! If I would have had a way to do it, I would have added a sound bite going "Dun dun dunnn!"to it! And Mara sure showed just how crafty in gameplay living with that lovable silly twit has made her...
Who said I didn't like how this story came out? I only said it came out quite differently from how I initially expected it to be!
*laughs*
But thank you! I'm really glad you liked it so much, dear!
Haha, indeed... that was the whole intention of that opening! If I would have had a way to do it, I would have added a sound bite going "Dun dun dunnn!"to it! And Mara sure showed just how crafty in gameplay living with that lovable silly twit has made her...
Thank you so much, dear! I'm glad to know this story, short as it was, was so enjoyable to read
I am certainly going to be keeping up the good work! Celeste has been on a roll lately and gave me lots of inspiration; so much to tell! So there will definitely be lots more stories coming, and not only for the Thursday Prompts (although there will be two for this week's Prompt, as it gives more or less two words, so I'll be doing one story with Mara and Celeste for one word, and one story with my new Minty Mouse for the other word )
I am certainly going to be keeping up the good work! Celeste has been on a roll lately and gave me lots of inspiration; so much to tell! So there will definitely be lots more stories coming, and not only for the Thursday Prompts (although there will be two for this week's Prompt, as it gives more or less two words, so I'll be doing one story with Mara and Celeste for one word, and one story with my new Minty Mouse for the other word )
Comments