"Shhhh… Quiet, girls! Here she comes!"

"One… two… three… SURPRIIIISSSSSSSSE!"

"WREEEEEEEEEET! Oh, you GUYS! What is THIS?"

"It's your BRIDAL SHOWER, silly!"

"R-really? For MEEEE?"

"Yeah! We knew you got your new VEIL this morning. This is the perfect time to show it OFF!"

"Well, OKAY… here GOES!"

"OOOOO OOOOOOH! It's BEAUTIFUL!"

"Hey, sorry I'm LATE, girls! I couldn't get anybody to watch the KIDS!"

"Oh, that's OKAY, Norma! The more, the merrier! You just attend to business over there."

"Get DOWN, Eggbert! Who am I kidding? He's a natural born pig! He can't understand me!"

"He STILL should mind his MOTHER! EGGBERT! *OINK* snuffle snuffle snuffle SNORT*!

"WOW! Look at him GO! You're getting GOOD at Piggish!"

"YEAH! It's starting to SCARE ME!"

"I'm SORRY all we could get you for presents were ROTTEN VEGETABLES! It's not like we can go SHOPPING, stuck on this ing FARM day and night!"

"Oh, NONSENSE, girls! They smell DELICIOUS! Everybody DIG IN!"

'CAREFUL, Dear! They'll go right to your TUMMY!"

"That's how Kermit LIKES MEEEEE!"

"Where did you get that VEIL? It's GORGEOUS?"

"My DARLING fiancé got it for me! He measured my head and brought the results to the bridal store. They really gave him a hard time! He said they were like, 'what are you marrying? An ELEPHANT?' Oh, if they only KNEW! HEE HEE HEE!"

"How on EARTH did you LAND that MAN, anyway? Looking like THAT?! I'm SORRY, but you're a TRANS-SPECIES PIG like the rest of us!'

"Oh, I was FRONT and CENTER to the whole THING! It was a wonder to BEHOLD! Guy comes in the door for his first day of work, thinks it's an ordinary pig farm, SEES US, looks like he's in a roomful of TARANTULAS, is just about ready to BOLT, and here comes PENNY sashaying right UP to him as bold as you PLEASE, pours on that FAKE magnolia ACCENT, goes like 'MAH! What a HANDSOME MAY-UN you are,' flutters her eyelashes, twitches her little piggy TAIL in his face, and he's MESMERIZED! She barely had time to throw the bait in the water, and HE'S HOOKED!"

"How did you KNOW he'd REACT like that, Dear?"

"The nose KNOWS, girls. As soon as he came in the ROOM, I could smell GENTLEMAN and PIG FANCIER all OVER him! Poor dear, I don't think HE even knew HIMSELF how DEARLY he loves PIGS! Any ONE of you girls probably could've LANDED him. But I SAW HIM FIRST!"

"Oh, PENNY, it's so OBVIOUS he ADORES you! You've got him eating out of your HAND! Or you're eating out of HIS hand! WHATEVER! Hands are being eaten out of!"

"TEE HEE HEE! And not only HANDS!"

"WREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!" "No she DI-INT!" "T-M-I Girl!" "That's NASTY!"

"REALLY! I don't know how he made out with his HUMAN girlfriends, but the man knows his way around a SOW! He's taken me around the MULBERRY BUSH a BUNCH of times!"

"So early in the morning?"

"Early in the MORNING, late at NIGHT, and anytime IN BETWEEN!"

"I AM SO JEALOUS! It's not like anybody ELSE that gorgeous is going to come to work here again! And I think Elmo and Clem have maybe ten teeth between them!"

"Don't GIVE UP girls! You're selling yourselves SHORT! I know ALL of you, and even on FOUR LEGS, every ONE of you's a CATCH!"

"You really THINK so, Penny?"

"I KNOW so! Now I smell a perfectly DELICIOUS bunch of BLACK BANANAS with my NAME on it!"

"SOOOO-EEEEEE! SOOOOOO-EEEEEEE!"

"Now who the is THAT?!"

"SOOOO-EEEEEE! SOOOOOO-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Jesus OINK ing CHRIST! I THINK it's Kermit's MOTHER!"


TO BE CONTINUED...