Hmm, I'm gonna take a wild guess and say it's Yammy.

As for the battle, my thoughts on it sorta tie into why this series hasn't really grabbed me in general; it feels rushed and sorta bland. The prose, language and tone are so dry and don't fit the scene at all. It feels like you're falling into the trap of, instead of putting us right there in the scene, the rush of action and emotion and all, you just kinda narrate a series of events. I don't get the fear of facing a foe like Udezuku, I don't feel the destruction of his power. This chapter in particular feels a bit cramped; we get all one a few sentences of relative calm before some big palooka we don't know shows up and immeditaly starts wrecking house.

The remedy fo this problem? Try developing your scenes more, especially in the key moments like the booming intrusion of a hulking new enemy and the chaos he wreaks. Use multiple sentences, make careful choice of words, develop how characters react more. Ya know, set an atmosphere, except instead with setting, with emotion. Write prose that makes us afraid of him, without just telling us we should be. Same with action, you gotta really PUNCH it up to get us in the moment.

Well, overall, the prose isn't as big an issue with this (final version won't be written), but if it's as dry as you say, then I definitely need to do something to it. The characters need to be reacting, like you said.

I will agree that this is cramped, and that's one part the fault of plotting (re-plotting even), and one part my self-imposed desire to keep each episode from going over five pages. I may not be able to do that with this one, so I'll keep that in mind as a remedy.

Do you have any specific suggestions for the action? Like I said, I'm not thrilled with how it came out this time. :B

Hmm, well like I said, pour all your emotion into it and we' ll feel likewise. You don't just wann narrarate a series of events; the writing itself should match what's happening and what you wanna get across. Develop big, strategic moments like a deciding blow or dramatic rescue with longer, punctuated sentences. Use lively action verbs, keep the language active. Use quicker, succesive sentences for faster moments. Describe and develop the destruction and pain. And finally, and more subjectively perhaps, be a bit...dramatic. Not flowery, but...hmm

It's like the difference between:

It was a dark and stormy night as he searched desperately for the cottage.

And:

"He edged through the darkness, arms outstretched, fingers on the softly-peeling bark of a birch, then the roughness of hemlock, as the branches above him groaned in the wind he could hear but not feel. He flinched from the whip of the icy rain, his exhausted eyes jumping with sparks, fooling him that the lamp above her door was there – there – until he lost faith in them and shouldered like a bull through the thick-matted pine trees, moving forward because he would not turn back."

Or:

"Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! Rage, blow you cataracts and hurricanes, spout till you have drenched our steeples, drowned the cocks! You sulphurous and thought-executing fires, vaunt-couriers to oak-cleaving thunderbolts, singe my white head! And thou, all-shaking thunder, strike flat the thick rotundity o' the world! Crack nature's moulds, all germens spill at once that make ingrateful man!"

You probably don't wanna be as verbose as fucking Shakespheare, but you can feel the difference in tone and intensity from reading the latter two passages, right? Now, how you'll get across all that in five pages? Umm, beats me. ^^; I wasn't aware of this boundary before, but the most I can suggest is to be very economical and make the most of what you have, something I'll admit is not my strong suit, inaddition to paying careful attention to plotting and pacing. I'd suggest reading and studying the stronger of those 365 word dealies I used to see everywhere(I personally recomend Metassus) and observe how they use clever language to paint a stronger picture through creative means in order to fit the strict limitations. I myself took a crack at this, and you may find it helpful. http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2590059

Well, I can definitely go for dramatic. Ultimately, my goal is to be clear, however.

Oh, and I forgot: it's not Yammy. :B Although having watched today's episode, I can see why you'd think that.

I don't really keep up with Bleach, actually. ^^; But having said that, I guess it'd probably be that huge gatekeeper guy from Soul Society.

Don't think size, think power. ;)

There's basically just one thing Udezuku has in common with this guy. :B I kinda failed at the whole 'homage' thing in the end.

Well, I'm stumped. I can only think of that spanish arrancar who kept saying "Nino!" in the dub.

I'll tell ya in a pm. c.c

Wait, there was a zeta archer?

Yeah, he was short, round, wore shades and teleported. :B He's married to the Epsilon Archer, the woman with the dragon, remember? :O