God I can't wait for Boyce's reaction to Neals hijinxs involving his family no less. This is shaping up to be a wowser

You will just have to wait - waiting is good for you!

"Ooooh mean boss"

Okay, so it is an added-to version, not just the second part.

Not enough room for a date without removing something else ...

Now, any bets on getting nods - or spit-takes - out of Goldie and Boyce?

Nice additions.


Edit Ckech Tiem:


He wasn’t quite sure that she had winked before turned away.

Feels better as either: ... before turning away ... or ... before she turned away ... .


He remembered the discomfort of the contact lens they had wore to hide their hazel eyes.

Lens implies a single lens or a single eye appears changed. Maybe lenses ...
Wore? maybe should be: worn .



Can hardly wait to see where this goes.

He wasn’t quite sure that she hadn't winked at him before she turned away.

He remembered the discomfort of the contact lenses they had worn to hide their hazel eyes.

Many thanks!

Nice addition to the story... I'm wondering if Boyse would be so passave when first nabbed.

There aren't a lot of hazel eyed Rakshani around - and making too much of a scene might bring unwanted attention on him and now his son.

That is true...

My question is where is Swiftwalk that shi can't snag Bryce

Shi has to have been there (or gotten a very good impression from someone who has.)

Thanks for thinking of it, helps me cover or fill in plot holes!

If Goldie goes for this you might have to back track slightly to cover it.. Can't imagine Swift hasn't been to Fleet headquarters or most of the major government buildings and would've been able to snag Boyce almost immediately after the speech.
Very could've been shi was on mission when Boyce made his speech and other conspired to keep hir out of the way

Since the story doesn't say 'where' the 'Federation General Assembly Hall' is, nor do we know where Boyce headed afterwards. Though maybe I should add having someone vectoring his kids onto his whereabouts ...

And no 'other conspired to keep hir out of the way' because no one knew he was going to drop this bombshell the way he did.

Though maybe there should be some thing/ reason the family couldn't direct Boyce to location where Swift could snag him. There was enough time for 4attacks on his life.. Though a couple could've easily been rushed slap-dash attempts

He was trying to keep what he did from splashing on them - not that some wouldn't splash anyway. And remember this hit the HCKNA cold, so they haven't had time to set up a proper hit (which is one of the reasons Boyce survived them) and two of the hit teams were so busy hunting him they walked into traps set by friends of Foster.)

But they'd get better with time to bring in pro teams and properly plan, so it was time to pull that game piece off the board and save him rather than waste him as bait.

More to come - and even Hal finds one more use for him!

Good continuance of story. Keep it up if you can!

That's always the trick to it, making to a finish line ...