"Doctor! Doctor MONROE!"

"YES, Nurse Janice?"

"You'd better SEE this! There was a foulup with Mr. Lambson's paperwork"

"The BOVIDOPLASTY case?"

"That's just IT! He was just here to get his APPENDIX out!"

"You don't SAY! That appendix DID look DODGY. I'm glad I took it out while I was working on him."

"That's not ALL you did! What the hell are we going to TELL him when he wakes up as a SHEEP?!"

"I don't know; tell him there's no CHARGE? HA HA HA! No, seriously. I mean it IS some of my best work! He makes a VERY pretty EWE, don't you THINK?"

"I.. I don't think he'll see it that way, Doctor. I think we're in a $#*&load of TROUBLE!"

"Well, maybe if we break it to him GENTLY, it won't be so BAD…"

"If you can pull THIS off, Doctor, you deserve the NOBEL PRIZE in C.Y.A.!"

"Mr. LAMBSON? Wake up! The surgery's OVER!"

"Mmmm… WHA? Why do I feel so FUNNY???"

"Oh, it's probably just the anesthesia wearing off, Mr. Lambson. So how ARE you feeling?"

"It… it's like I'm we-e-a-a-aring a wool sweater, only on every inch of my bo-o-o-d-dy! And what's with my VO-O-O-ICE?"

"You sound just fine to ME, Mr. Lambson! Just FINE! Yep, no problem with your VOICE…"

"I don't know… I sound BA-A-A-A-D!"

"Oh, NONSENSE! You sound right as rain! Anyway, Mr. Lambson, I've got some questions for you."

"Like WH-A-A-A-T?"

"Well, Mr. Lambson… have you… ever… ahh… felt like starting OVER in a brand new LIFE? Just, like a completely FRESH START?"

"What do you ME-E-E-A-N?"

"Like… you know… a BRAND NEW LIFE! Just… throw over all the cards and start FRESH!"

"NO-O-O-O! I've got a good j-o-o-b-b-b, a great ho-u-u-se… things with the w-i-i-i-i-fe could be better… but…"

"About your WIFE, Mr. Lambson… does she KNIT, by any chance? Or CROCHET? I hear it's quite the rage these days!"

'N-O-O-O-O!"

"Well, about that HOUSE, now! Did you ever want to… I don't know… GET really hands-on (so to speak) maintaining your LAWN? You know… mowing, edging, cropping weeds, fertilizing… like, REALLY down and dirty?"

"NO-O-O-O! I've got a LA-A-A-W-N SER-R-R-R-VICE! I pay them good money for that $#*&l!!!"

"Well, Mr. Lambson,, you might want to think about letting them go. It would be a waste of money, in my opinion. And you might not want pesticides on your lawn, either…"

"What are all these QUESTIONS??? Why does my VO-O-O-ICE sound like this? What is this POSITION I'm LY-Y-Y-ING in?! What's going O-O-O-O-N-N-N???????"

"Well, Mr. Lambson… it's like this. We… we sort of made a little BOO-BOO with your case. Now your APPENDIX is OUT! That's the GOOD news! That little rascal was ready to BLOW!"

"So wha-a-a-t's the BOO-BOO-OO-OO?"

"Well, we… ah… mistakenly… kind of, sort of… madeyouintoaSHEEP!"

"WHA-A-A-A-A-A-A-T-T-T-T?"

"Now don't get UPSET! It was an honest mistake. We have a LOT of CASES this week! It's hard to keep them ALL straight!"

"What… wha-a-a-t kind of excuse is THA-A-A-A-T?? I CAN'T be a SH-E-E-E-E-P! That's CR-A-A-A-ZY!"

"Well, Mr. Lambson, you ARE a sheep. The sooner you face facts, the better! Nurse, bring that mirror!"

"Yes, Doctor!"

"Now take a good look, Mr. Lambson! Aren't you the prettiest little ewe you ever SAW?"

"WHAT THE… WHAT THE FU-U-U-U… OH JE-E-E-SUS CHR-I-I-I-I-I-ST! MOTHER OF G-O-D-D-D! WHAT HAVE YOU D-O-O-O-O-NE TO ME-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E??????"

"I just finished telling you, Mr. Lambson. I made you into a sheep!"

"Well, well, CHANGE ME B-A-A-A-A-CK, MOTHERF***ER!!! CHANGE ME B-A-A-A-A-A-CK!"

"Now, now, don't get EXCITED, Mr. Lambson! As you can see, this was pretty involved surgery… I mean, you have four legs now, a tail, an entirely different digestive system… oh that reminds me, we have to discuss your new DIET… you're covered in WOOL… and oh YEAH… you're a GIRL sheep. There's no REVERSING a procedure like this! Are you SURE your wife doesn't KNIT? Maybe she can take it up!

"EXCITED??!!! YOU HAVEN'T SEEN EXCITED!!! I'LL SUU-U-U-E ALL YOU BA-A-A-A-STARDS FOR EVERY CE-E-E-E-NT YOU G-O-T-T-T-T! I'LL TAKE THIS TO THE SUPRE-E-E-E-E-ME COURT! YOU F***ED WITH THE WRO-O-O-O-O-NG GU-Y-Y-Y-Y-Y!"

"Tee-hee-hee! She sounds ADORABLE, doesn't she Doctor?"

"I know Nurse. I shouldn't laugh, but she sounds like Jack Nicholson voiced by Minnie MOUSE! With a STUTTER!
I hate to break it to you, Mr. Lambson… Miss Lambson? You are now officially and legally LIVESTOCK. You are now your wife's PROPERTY. I hope the two of you aren't TOO on the outs… 'cause she can dispose of you any way she wishes right now… Well here she is NOW!

"Hello, Mrs. Lambson. You and the nurse just talked on the phone… right?"

"Yeah, but I had to see it for MYSELF! HAROLD! I never would've KNOWN you! What's it FEEL like in there? Now don't tell me… BA-A-A-A-A-D! HEE HEE HEE HEE!

"SANDRA! This i-i-i-i-sn't FUNNY!"

"Oh, I think it's a RIOT! I'm just trying to decide what to DO with you. I'd LOVE to put you in charge of the LAWN, but we aren't ZONED for it. Too BA-A-A-A-A-D!
What to do… what to do? OH, I KNOW! Uncle Mikos' SHEEP FARM!"

"NO-O-O-O-O! Do-o-o-o-o-n't send me up TH-E-E-E-R-R-R-E! The guy's a PE-E-E-R-R-R-RV! And so is his whole CREW!"

"Oh, not a BIT of it, Har… I guess I'll call you DOTTIE now! Those are just scurrilous rumors, I'm sure! And anyway, what you're IMPLYING has a new NAME now with all you transpeciesists running around these days. It's just a little harmless ANIMAL HUSBANDRY!"

"NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O! HELP! ANYBODY! DON'T DO-O-O-O-O-O THIS TO ME! Is this about the girl in Seattle? I'M SO-O-O-R-R-R-RY! SA-A-A-A-NDRA!"

"Hmm. Didn't KNOW about the one in SEATTLE! THANK YOU, Doctor. This was SO MUCH easier than a DIVORCE! I'm sure he'll be very popular with Uncle Mikos and the whole gang!
Toodle-OOOO! Now come ALONG Dottie. I don't WANT to hire a border collie to keep you in line, but I WILL!"

"So LONG, you two! It's been nice working with you, Mr. Lamb… Dottie!"

"NO-O-O-O-O-O! NO-O-O-O-O-O-O! I'M SORRY! HE-E-E-E-L-L-L-P!"

"Well, Doctor, you really dodged a bullet THERE! You've got to stop working so hard!"

"Yeah. I was really feeling SHEEPISH for a while there…"

"(sigh)… Like I said, Doctor, you've got to stop working so hard."