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i hesitated to post this one because like i drew the same thing twice, and these weren't meant to be stupid, but i have a hard time taking myself seriously. it was meant to be, like, meaningful! and not me making armpit farts in the background.
i know it's not an original metaphor by any stretch of the imagination. that's the joke i am doing when i make fun of myself. i didn't know how else to depict the feeling of being in a lot of suffering in a way that made sense. the subject is sincere, but i find it hard to present it in a way that relays that sincerity. perhaps i am afraid of vulnerability. also people have made fun of me for art that is sincere and depicts pain, so you know how it can be.
anyway, hey??? i drew another one???? these were from the same sketch page and i was like "well i made em might as well finish em" and so i did. i don't post art a lot, so why not post some art.
thanks, have a great day.
i know it's not an original metaphor by any stretch of the imagination. that's the joke i am doing when i make fun of myself. i didn't know how else to depict the feeling of being in a lot of suffering in a way that made sense. the subject is sincere, but i find it hard to present it in a way that relays that sincerity. perhaps i am afraid of vulnerability. also people have made fun of me for art that is sincere and depicts pain, so you know how it can be.
anyway, hey??? i drew another one???? these were from the same sketch page and i was like "well i made em might as well finish em" and so i did. i don't post art a lot, so why not post some art.
thanks, have a great day.
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1280 x 896px
File Size 164.4 kB
You don't really see a good vent art too often these days.
I think I can see how trying to depict the feeling of depersonalization in a way that really gets across your experience would be challenging...... especially if it's not really something you want people to pay you extra attention for.
When I saw the first art I did assume that it was maybe a situation of someone personally attacking themselves on an emotional front. I've never dealt with depersonalization myself, only... semi-severe self-loathing and probably depression so I don't really get what it's like, but I do hope you can get help for what you're going through and if not, then that you have a better brain day soon.
Also... I'm sorry if this comment completely misses the point of what you were trying to get at... X'D
I think I can see how trying to depict the feeling of depersonalization in a way that really gets across your experience would be challenging...... especially if it's not really something you want people to pay you extra attention for.
When I saw the first art I did assume that it was maybe a situation of someone personally attacking themselves on an emotional front. I've never dealt with depersonalization myself, only... semi-severe self-loathing and probably depression so I don't really get what it's like, but I do hope you can get help for what you're going through and if not, then that you have a better brain day soon.
Also... I'm sorry if this comment completely misses the point of what you were trying to get at... X'D
big old word dump, you don't gotta read if you don't want to.
my experience with it as someone with chronic ptsd is different from the basic descriptions you get from medical websites because it's been years and years, but at its core it's the same. depersonalization is described as feeling like you're "in a dream" because you're disconnected from your body or emotions. for me, because i depersonalized for so many years, it felt like i was a different person experiencing another life outside of the life happening to my body. one distinct feature of depersonalization is not being able to feel emotions that you know you're having. for instance, you know you feel happy because you're smiling, and you should feel happy, but you can't actually feel the emotion. it's an empty gesture that someone else is feeling, while you're watching from a few inches away. the pain sticks around, though. there is a whole lot less pain than when not depersonalizing, but it never goes away.
so, swords stabbing me everywhere because when you have chronic ptsd, it seems like all you do is suffer, but an invisible bubble encasing me inside with just the pain while other emotions grow and wither outside of me, heedless to the situation. watching things happen around you, without you, and with no ability to change the situation is kind of the crux of this one, i guess.
i've gotten a lot better in recent years. i can feel things besides various shades of suffering these days, and i'm grateful for that. when i draw personal art like this, i guess for me it's an expression of a kind of pain i've had to work through by myself because it was something i had to do alone. if someone else can see it and relate to it, and not feel alone, that's enough for me.
my experience with it as someone with chronic ptsd is different from the basic descriptions you get from medical websites because it's been years and years, but at its core it's the same. depersonalization is described as feeling like you're "in a dream" because you're disconnected from your body or emotions. for me, because i depersonalized for so many years, it felt like i was a different person experiencing another life outside of the life happening to my body. one distinct feature of depersonalization is not being able to feel emotions that you know you're having. for instance, you know you feel happy because you're smiling, and you should feel happy, but you can't actually feel the emotion. it's an empty gesture that someone else is feeling, while you're watching from a few inches away. the pain sticks around, though. there is a whole lot less pain than when not depersonalizing, but it never goes away.
so, swords stabbing me everywhere because when you have chronic ptsd, it seems like all you do is suffer, but an invisible bubble encasing me inside with just the pain while other emotions grow and wither outside of me, heedless to the situation. watching things happen around you, without you, and with no ability to change the situation is kind of the crux of this one, i guess.
i've gotten a lot better in recent years. i can feel things besides various shades of suffering these days, and i'm grateful for that. when i draw personal art like this, i guess for me it's an expression of a kind of pain i've had to work through by myself because it was something i had to do alone. if someone else can see it and relate to it, and not feel alone, that's enough for me.
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