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More from supershadow64ds
Just a sort of vent art I did.
Day by day the more things I do good the more I realize I've done wrong.
I struggle to know what actions are helpful to myself anymore.
I'm losing a lot of close friends for various different reasons, be it my own actions, my own discomforts, my own reasonings...
I don't remember things hurting this much as a kid.
I want to be able to think I'm doing good for myself, but I'm losing so much.
Three of my closest supportive people have left my life and I don't really have anyone that I'm close enough with to really talk to about my innermost thoughts and emotions. I find that I just can't trust anymore. I don't have that emotional drive to make new friends or talk to new people because it just feels like I'm talking to a brick wall.
I also uploaded this to deviantart but not a single person saw it...
Day by day the more things I do good the more I realize I've done wrong.
I struggle to know what actions are helpful to myself anymore.
I'm losing a lot of close friends for various different reasons, be it my own actions, my own discomforts, my own reasonings...
I don't remember things hurting this much as a kid.
I want to be able to think I'm doing good for myself, but I'm losing so much.
Three of my closest supportive people have left my life and I don't really have anyone that I'm close enough with to really talk to about my innermost thoughts and emotions. I find that I just can't trust anymore. I don't have that emotional drive to make new friends or talk to new people because it just feels like I'm talking to a brick wall.
I also uploaded this to deviantart but not a single person saw it...
Category Artwork (Digital) / Human
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1024 x 768px
File Size 12.6 kB
honestly, we just met
i'm naught but a blip on your radar
if I really was dead, you'd be upset that you failed, you'd be upset that you experienced this, but you wouldn't let it kill you, it wouldn't consume you, it'd just be a distant memory after a while and eventually the hole (what little hole there is) will repair itself
it always happens
everyone can move on and be without me. it doesnt matter
i'm naught but a blip on your radar
if I really was dead, you'd be upset that you failed, you'd be upset that you experienced this, but you wouldn't let it kill you, it wouldn't consume you, it'd just be a distant memory after a while and eventually the hole (what little hole there is) will repair itself
it always happens
everyone can move on and be without me. it doesnt matter
it does matter. there is a story about two people walking on the beach, one is an old man, the other a little girl. the night prior was a big storm and hundreds of starfish are washed up on shore. the little girl starts picking up starfish and tossing them back in the water. the old man remarks "there are so many, you cannot possibly save them all." the little girl picks up a starfish, considers it, and tosses it in the water, and without skipping a beat she simply replies "i saved that one." true. i would be upset if you died, but that doesn't mean you are not worth trying to save. you cant save everyone, so save who you can.
no you must not think of such things. and its ok.. being a nerd is pretty cool in my book. and yes you have skills. you are a good artist. and you cant say you never socialize because you are doing it right now (i know it is hard being an aspie, but guess what? im an aspie too.. small world). please at least try to think positive? name one thing positive you are good at. if you are unable to think of something, at least have a cute guinea pig video : https://youtu.be/9jvqMJaKffI
i dont have aspergers
and im really not that good of an artist-- even looking on this site you can find literally hundreds of people that are far far better than me, people YOUNGER than me that are far far more adept at this sort of stuff.
its like that will any hobby or "skill" i have. There's always someone better so its like... why bother doing it. its not fun anymore and nothing really brings me any joy anymore. things just are so exhausting.
and im really not that good of an artist-- even looking on this site you can find literally hundreds of people that are far far better than me, people YOUNGER than me that are far far more adept at this sort of stuff.
its like that will any hobby or "skill" i have. There's always someone better so its like... why bother doing it. its not fun anymore and nothing really brings me any joy anymore. things just are so exhausting.
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