Interesting theme, you're almost there as far as visuality- the stanza about crowns and fools has a very nice touch, with fantastic diction.
If you are interested in constructive criticism, here is what I have to offer- take from it what you will, if anything X3; The day-by-day and longer than long are a bit too wordy and have a tendency to throw off the rhythm you're trying to develop, The first and last stanza make everything sound rather repetitive, as the wording is so similar but not quite the same, if you want to have a greater impact take the themes of the poem overall and try to make something completely new. I think that what would make something of this nature really shine is if you leave the emotions stated out of it- you're so close! Happiness at bay, and like a depressing song are too blunt, images of family drives you down, they all have the crown really stand out. Keep up the good work, you have a lot of potential!

Do you realize you just wrote a Ballad? Just figured I'd point that out ^^;~

I know how family stress can be... but its all good - poetry is emotion, whether that emotion is good or bad.

Ballad? Seriously? Umm... I know I"m about to sound stupid, but off hand, what's a ballad?

http://www.writing-world.com/poetry/ballad.shtml ~