Wow, shes must use great shampoo, I wish I could get my fur that sheen~ <3

you have a diary....pfff

well do you?

i have journal, actually just recently found it, it was weird to read what i wrote in it because i was really fucked up when i wrote in it... those were truly dark times. its not that hard to write in a journal just write what you honestly feel and how your life is going i used to do that daily.

im a very morbid person and i hate my humanity and this stupid body of mine is weak, and every day was hell for me, im not gonna lie my life is great my family is great there is just something wrong with my sanity, i have been this way since i was like 6, i have attempted suicide many times but the thought of making my family sad was the thing that kept me going. im just a very disturbed person i spend too much time trying to make others happy that i have no happy left for me. enji is my happy and when im not with him i get depressed and that sometimes leads to self mutilation. thank god for enji or i would not be here today to draw you pretty pictures XD

my art was always a good way to bring me out of the darkness thats why i get so angry when i have artist block i even sometimes get physically violent i member a couple weeks ago i pounded my head into my desk... it hurt like hell and didnt do anything. im glad i can make people happy with my art.

the pain of hitting my head made me forget that i cant draw then i smoked a cig so that made me feel better lol. and thankyou for you kind words i just wished we could have met you before we have to leave back to cali

we leave in 15 days i think but im glad to be going home and maybe when i get car we can come up here and visit you

well we're going to live with my for alittle while she lives in the middle of no where seriously its not on a map its called johnson valley

yeah but i like to be close to my family

yeah even though they make fun of me all the time

well i sorta stabbed my sister so the always joke and call me funny names and when ever wer'er weating dinner they say i shouldn't handle any more knives so i guess its more like teasing

the sad thing is i coulda killed her my sister is a real bitch we have never ever gotten along i cant be in room with her for more than 5 minutes with out her wanting to start a fight with me and i cant fight honestly i just want to waste my energy but that bitch poured beer on my laptop the pulled out my hair so i stabbed the bitch

amazing

grrr