Well that image is just heartbreaking <3.

Yep, that's how birthdays are during adulthood. Average days.

That is pretty much how mine goes. Kinda happens as you get older. Life.

There's nothing to say about it. You are the victim of yourself. Nothing more.

so im a victim for not having people in my area who want to be friends?

im a victim of myself because out of all my family i am the only one who has not touched drugs? (drugs destroyed relationships within the family)

im a victim of myself because i have aspergers? and because of that i cant understand alot of social interaction with other people to the point wherein i cant even really connect with people

what in essence it seems you are saying is that its my fault that my birthdays have not been enjoyable which is far from the truth

my situation here is not any fault of mine but of the people in my surroundings and my social disability (which i was born with)

if it were up to me ... i would have at least a few people i can meet in person that i can celebrate something simple without the fear that it would be ruined by my messed up family members but i cannot afford to move out of my grandmas house due to the fact that rent in my area is 1200 dollars a month plus utilities (and they want me to have about 2 months rent or so at hand to move in and at the rate i make money thats impossible)

i have to pay for my food and my internet and even what i use in power even though i live at my grandmas so no dude ... i am not a victim of myself ... i am a victim of poor circumstances that compounded to the point wherein i am almost completely trapped

I do not know this and I am sorry to at hear at you are in a situation like this

In any cases, you have to be strong and dont act like a victim.

Because it is a circle, it creates all the bad vibes and situation around you.

I’m sorry, but you have to stop this kind of thinking, and become stronger and happier than ever.

I have a disability too, and I learn this.

With time, your life will change.
For sure.

the mind cannot fix other people and what they do and some things are subconscious like most forms of panic disorders (i dont have a panic disorder thankfully)

it doesnt matter how i act because thats just the mask i use to hide what goes on inside .. i can act happy about things but it doesnt change the fact that i have a pain and sadness when it comes to the idea of my birthday and any form of kindness is always nice and it does help diminish the sadness i have with tomorrow (my birthday is tomorrow) ... putting on a face will only make other people feel better but it does not do much for me at my core

if and when i can find the foundation for the pain and sadness i will then be able to remove it to some degree but i just know that most of my birthdays have been hollow affairs and if one goes through this for years its going to leave some deep scars

So, I hope you find the way soon!!

You'll still have us on FA at least.......

maybe you just need at experience something new on your birthday if you've been doing the same thing for the last 10 years?

but no matter what, I hope you have a happy birthday and if it can help then I can give you a birthday gift on Steam if you will like this

thank you man :)

its nice to have people online say nice things :)

I'm just saying what I feeling and will just help you out at give you a nice Bday bro