Yay! New page.

Nevermind. ;-;
Not yay, it's just painfully relatable. Hope you're doing alright, my Dad wasn't much better. Mad respect for drawing/writing about it though, I know it would take too much out of me.

Gonna admit (I think i may have already mentioned it but...) I cried....for days drawing this. What a mess.

Yeah, I remember reading the journal about that. Hope you're doing better, or at least on the mend from that.

*hugs*

My God that’s deep and very very understandable though as I write this I am crying. Calls Mom and I love you

I'm so sorry... and I'm sorry that I can actually relate too.

Then again in my case it's weird. My dad died when I was 3 and my mom raised me and my sister by herself. When my mom died, I didn't feel anything. That's when I realized that I truly never loved her. I think I was just relieved that I wouldn't hear her complaining and saying her kids all disappoint her anymore. The thought that I couldn't feel sad for her hurt more than her death.

In the end you can only trust in yourself. Your family is just blood. You never asked to be born so you don't owe your parents anything.

Sorry that went dark, I just had to share. This strip hit me directly in the feels.

Like the author of the song from the 1st Toy Story movie where Jessie sings about how she was abandoned, who apparently cried while writing it, I think I understand what you mean.
Speaking of which, the entire page made me think of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCESufY8hMc

I think you mean the second movie but I see where you are going with it

;_; sometimes those who act the most childish are those that just wished they had a proper childhood in the first place ;_;

I agree is unfair for her she wants a happiness childhood for his future but his dad is a broken person he to adulthood,ocd and always wanted to be a perfect but it make her childhood more trauma,grow hate and envy to happiness childhood to someone like Abdl that why she wants fell to be a true love and trust

awww i feel bad for star, want a hug? *holds arms out wide*

Wow... that's extremely deep :'(

Mr. Bryce is a mess. Discouraging Star's artistic talent, forcing her to grow up. Wow! He sure has a wonderful way of raising his children.

if by wonderful you mean being a dick, yeah.

I hate people like Mr. Bryce. he sounds like the person who'd yell at a five year old for still needing diapers, and forget the fact that they went through hell in hospital fighting to survive the horrible hand they got dealt in life. The kiddo survives but where diapers due to a medical condition and gets berated by an adult saying that something is wrong with them because they're older than 2 and still in diapers...

sorry...I just hate people like him. I have a person like that in my family and I resent him and my own father for being a weak, manipulative ass.

Do I want to know?

...

nevermind, don't tell me. I need more positiveness and cuteness this morning.

And being made to do all the extracurricular activities at the same time XD

You know, I remember one time back in fourth grade, I was looking at my report card, and when I looked at the spot that listed my gender (I'm female), I freaked out because I thought it said "Grade" at first.

It would be interesting to see what his childhood was like. I think he probably had to work very hard and grow up very fast, and thinks his children have to as well.

i can understand someone being tough... like in the description... and it did make her tough..... but at what cost.....

Poor guy, Skippy. He's gonna need a LOT of help.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O8kRTVkjEI

Very, VERY well said!

Why does she still love him? I sure as hell don't love my father, and what he did to me and my brother and sister wasn't even nearly as bad as this.

Sometimes people just aren't wired to hate others, it's easy to hate, harder to forgive and let go... “Fear is the path to the dark side…fear leads to anger…anger leads to hate…hate leads to suffering.” master Yoda :)

And sometimes you can't help but love people even when you ALSO hate them.

From.someone who went through kind of the same treatment that star shows here, you can do both at the same time.

My parents split when I was in grade school and until i was in high school, I went through most of the stuff star did. If it was an A it should've have been an A+; no hospital corners on your bed, rip and do it again; art isnt a real industry, go into the oilfield and make money while you're young; no your transgendered friend is not welcome at our house.

I've dealt with a lot of heavy emotions because of the things my parents have said. I still to this day resent the way the acted when I proposed to.my wife, and when we told them we'd finally set a wedding date after 7 years of dating (5 under engagement).

I've always hated my dad's aloof manner, and my mother's tightly wound attitude. But I still love how they've shown interest in my artistic and musical ability. I will never forget the anger and animosity I felt after the countless times they've ripped my room because a sock was misplaced or my bed wasnt 110% correct. I'll never forget the shame of them finding "little" stuff on my computer, and claiming that I was a pedophile, at the age of 13. Yet I'll never forget the good times that we've shared from blessing my marriage, getting my arts degree, or being told that we have a babt boy on the way.

I resent what my parents have done in the past. I'll never forget it. But I also won't forget the good that they've done too.

I think that's it, in a weird way. When you're growing up like that you learn to justify your mistreatment because its so constantly present.

Ahhhhh, my dear. The nature of love is such that it does not get to choose where it goes.

Yes. It confuses me sometimes why I'm still a daddy's girl. Why I'd do anything for that man...Stockholm's syndrome perhaps? I dunno. He did good things as well as bad things he wasn't always awful every day.

Is it not true that the people we love can make us the angriest?

That part of us wish to be loved and accepted by our parents.
When I grew up always not getting the you did a great job or hugs.
It made me num and not knowing how to accept praise .
By doing this comic you can address these things that you're still bottling up.
Our parents aren't perfect they do make mistakes even though they don't intend to.
And him being military that did a lot too.
It definitely wasn't your fault are we still carry those hurts inside.
Hugs. My dad was so mean at times he knows what he did.
Now trying to make me a man. It was a good thing he was not in my life.

No sweetheart, it's called Love. Love is what allows you to beyond the bad, Love is what allows you to see the heart. Love is what allows you to see your father for the man he wanted to be, not the man he was.
Love is why you feel the way you do, even if he hurt you so many times, you still love him and he, in his own way, always has loved you.
Now I need to go get the tears out on my eyes.

I believe the term is Stockholm Syndrome. Sometimes when a person is abused long enough, they begin to believe that they actually deserve the abuse and begin to agree with their abuser. It's not an uncommon response to long term abuse.

People are weakened by their connection with "family" but don't realize that family is a threat, nothing but an extra weight meant to drag them down in life and tear them apart. Siblings are mildly annoying as always, but "parents" are the worst offenders. Bastards with any amount of authority constantly fail to realize that THEY are the ones who need to show respect. Blinded by a lack of logic, consumed by a dangerous conflict; connection or consequence; there is no balance. Forever a puppet on the strings of relation, and guilty by association.

She can't reconcile her humanity with the fact that there was never anything to love.
But the answer is simple; ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER!
Star should have dropped the old fool on his A$$ years ago for the dead weight he is on her life.

Jesus mate. Who hurt you?

Let's just say people really are toxic. Human life is a disease, but those who fail or refuse to love or show compassion are an infection that will never end. The suffering that people describe is more relatable than you think. Everyone sees the faces in the crowd, but no one knows the atrocities that go on behind closed doors. And the threat never ends in the world beyond... if there even is one.

They say there's no place like home, but they're wrong... There is no such thing as "a place to call home" to begin with.
Instead of letting the world be controlled around us, people need to TAKE their PLACES!

I'll agree with B4byN3ko, who hurt you?

I've had plenty of trouble in my life, my parents have left me fucked up in many ways, but that doesn't mean they didn't try their best. They were dedicated to raising someone who could stand on their own, even if it hurt to learn how. It was a twisted kind of love.

People are a lot better than you think, maybe you haven't met many good ones, but they're out there. I think that many of them are people who stood up after the suffering and said "I'm going to help others through this." If there's no world beyond then we may as well make this world as good as possible, and that starts by being kind.

You sound like you're crying out for help but nobody's listening. I know how you feel but your outlook on life will not help. Despite my parent's shortcomings I made a choice to stay positive DESPITE how bleak the world is. People are toxic by choice. No matter what "parents" do we have a choice to make the same mistakes they made or we can choose to be different. Our "parents" don't define us, WE define who we are. For better or worse this is me. I'm not a toxic person even though I came from toxic people. I can make the choice to do what my parents could not. I can choose to love or hate. I view my parents at this point as a means to an end at best because of the way they chose to parent. They're gonna have to live with the consequences of their poor parenting. I can choose to be bitter and take revenge and believe me I struggle with that everyday. On top of their craziness My dad was a drug addict and my mom was crazy as hell and I'm an autistic and more mentally stable and rational than both of them put together. I've had to be a majority of my life. It's easy to view life with a doom and gloom perspective but I can tell you there's light at the end of the tunnel.

love this comic, and the deep emotional parts only make it better, and sorry you had to go through that hun

oh wow so her father pushed her too far, he created a toxic relationship star couldn't thrive in, nor the other family members

Oh man this strikes.... way too close to home for me too. My dad is quite the hardass, espected only A+ since I was in 1st grade, hated anything that I liked at all, made me work out so much and run a lot, yelled at me if I changed my mind on something, got my toys taken away by setting down a glass a little too hard, I wasn;t allowed to have certian friends.... god it was horrible

But even through all of that I still love him. he is my dad and I know he was just trying to 'toughen me up' it was so rough and I didn;t understand why half the time as a kid. all I really understood is that my dad was angry and it was my fault...

Man it does explain a lot though...

My thoughts and love to you star. You're a trooper! <3

Uh, if that's been happening since 1st grade, then you call child protective services.
The only thing to love is that one day you can get back at him and beat him over and over again as punishment for what he put you through. You're not the only one with sadly common life issues. These so called "parents" need to pay for what they've done, parents need to be PUNISHED!
Kids all over the world are suffering because of the masses of people devoid of love.

Dude it's never that easy. CPS looks for physical damage and unkempt homes. If that was the case then an old.neighbor of mine would have had her children removed from.her years ago. It's never that easy to just call CPS.

I find that highly ironic with the fact that good, innocent people had their kids taken away and the house and general life was pristine and in all in great condition. Everything falls apart because someone said a word or two. No one believes the truth. Everyone believes a lie, because it's the truth they want to hear.

I think the best revenge you can have is to live your life without them and to cut ties all together. Also if you have children DON'T USE VIOLENCE. DON'T TAKE YOUR FRUSTRATIONS OUT ON THEM.

The Gordon Ramsey of parents. Today in Hell House
"Where's the plus?"
"WHERE IS THE PLUS?!"

So I guess the dyed part of Stars hair is in support of her brother.

i think if what i'm guessing next page is going to be, it is gonna hit me hard, my mom and dad are ok with me being gay but my dad's sister and brother are so bigoted its not funny, so we have to be careful to hide what i am and who i date around them, which makes it hard to want to bring my boyfriend home to visit even though he does live in the Yukon area of Canada and i live in kansas

K then.

I WAS JUST THINKING THAT

specially if their are family. they use that power against you. u.u

FINALLY someone who gets it. People of all kinds are toxic, and parents especially should be abandoned like the island of trash they are.
In the name of self defense and personal sanity, I say DROP your "family" and find your own life to save yourself from hell.
The first chance you get, run as fast and as far as possible and never turn back. That's what some people manage to do, and very few if any are ever followed (except by those that truly are demented).

Fair point. I think it's also fairly obvious that practically no one in general society wants to learn anything because they can't stand the possibility that someone else is right and they're wrong.
Could be more or less a self image problem, but meh... everyone has some sort of issue..blegh.

Krytus... listen i dont know what youve went through and im sorry if horrible shit has happened... but not every single parent who has been tough on their kid or wanted to teach them something is a bad parent.... my parents we tough on me in some ways to be a strong person and to fight back in this word... a lot of yelling and fighting has been exchange over the years and i still love them.... They did the best they could for me.... they didnt know i had autism back then.... no many people understood it.... ive had tough shit in my live... but it doesnt matter how tough my parents were on me THEY ALWAYS HAD MY BACK.... i know in this comment section a lot of peoples parents abandoned them with their thoughts and thats horrible but again not everyones parents or family need to be "dropped" just because my dad has a bit of an authority complex and he yells at me doesnt mean i should just run and turn my back on him... he has always looked out for me...

Wait... You're autistic, too?!? Wow, I find something new every day. Not many of us are online often enough to find each other. I have high-functioning autism, and I'm brilliant with anything technical or involving electricity. I specialize in system dynamics, and you wouldn't believe some of the things I've seen and done.

I find it interesting that a lot of autistics have shitty parents. A LOT of us.

So what's your specialty?

well thats a little unusual... your comment brightens up the mood in the comment section a little... personally i dont think my parents were shitty they just had to work with in what they understood at the time... but yea my autism sucks but i work with it every day, You know how it is, just gotta take things day by day..

But to answer your question, My Specialty would be Militarism (things involving the military like tactics, equipment, logistics things of the like), another would be although Its a little taboo in today's society but Firearms such as how they work and the mechanics of them and calibers. A Big Specialty would be Computers and Video games, i love fixing them and working on them and when it comes to video games i really enjoy figuring them out like how differnt systems in each game works like how the AI reacts to player interaction. A minor Specialty would be Space, Science and History... I cant think of any more right now...

DUDE!!! I'm speechless at how similar we are! I completely relate to everything you just said (except video games-- dropped that a long time ago) I don't even know what to say or where to begin...
But for real, computers, logistics, taking things apart and studying them before putting them back together... THAT'S MY ENTIRE MASTER SKILL SET!!! (Well, most of it.)

And the militaristic stuff... all I can say is... PURGE!!!!!

Damn... that's hard. I... I really don't know what to say here. It's a great page with lots of emotions. But it's also sad that this (or something like this) happened to you and others as well. I hope you are doing alright.

*Offers a hug*

This is so painfully relatable Star.

I cut all ties with my father and this opened old wounds, I still to this day never talk to him. He's an irresponsible old fart and manipulative. And my own family tried to make me accept him for who he is. I could not and will not. He's dead to me.

Sorry for the personal rant, it brought out such with this. Star's father was an asshole. Fathers shouldn't be like that with their kids. I...I guess that's why I created a story world without a father there and why...why I don't want kids because I'm terrified of making the mistakes my parents did with me...

Again...sorry for the personal stuff...it just brought it to the forefront...I...I'm glad you have a way to let out your frustrations. 🤗🤗🤗 We love ya, Star.

I know that feeling... It's painful... This is why It's important to love yourself.

Yeah...and I do love myself. I guess that's kinda why my story world always ends up revolving around my adult self caring for my child self. In a way, it's a way for me to care for myself kinda. Makes for cute art too I guess.

Fck....that Bob panel is a bad memory I forgot I had.

This isn't my place to say, but... No. This is not acceptable. I don't care what his intentions are, this is the kind of abuse that could outright get him in serious trouble. I mean trashing your daughter's room because she "failed inspection" is just borderline child abuse.

*Hugs*

Damn, this page really hits home for me hardcore with my mom... I hope you're okay, Star sweetie. ;; It's so brave of you to draw something like this. It's never easy going through anything like this in your life. Your comic has been so raw emotionally and that's one of the biggest aspects of what keeps bringing me back. You're so incredibly talented and strong hun. <3 Take all the time you need to collect yourself.

Goddamn... if my dad ever did that in my childhood, I think I'd be the same way as Star in that last panel. I just, can't hate people. I can be annoyed but not hateful. God, I see why this screwed you up for a few days. My condolences Star.

Wow. So many levels of emotional abuse. The destruction of the toys due to not having cleaned up enough, like holy hell. I can't stand parents that think a 6 year old thinks like an adult.
Robin Williams' dad pulled that "Well, it's not an A+ so you fucking failed" crap too, it's why he ended up a comedian, because only making his mom laugh made him feel loved when he was growing up. Ugh. I can see why drawing this messed you up. It's a common stereotype in the fandom that babyfurs have daddy issues, but when someone says that to me I'm like "Well...you're not wrong..."

I dont usually fave comic pages but this, this is a masterpiece.

The room one hit hard for me...

When I was younger my Grandmother babysat the Neighbors kids while both worked before and after school, I had a big lego collection and I had some stuff that I had built and was proud of.

The younger girl kept breaking it and would not stop so I asked my mom to help.

She took all the Lego stuff I made and threw it against the wall and trashed my room and screamed at me...

The kids told their parents what happened and she never babysat for them again...

My grandmother was a very angry woman, she would often yell at me for small things and has hit me on a few occasions, hell she often gave away many of my toys behind my back or not support me in any of my endeavors...

Fuck, now that I think about it, this whole page hits home hard for me...

It was only after I called her out on her bullshit and started Yelling back at her she backed off, but I can't stand being around her anymore...

I need a punching bag...

Dang...Poor girl. I feel her pain and can relate. Well somewhat but wow some father

Jesus fucking Christ, stars dad is a absolute monster! He trashed a little girls room, threw away her favourite stuffed toy, was displeased with a A grade because it didn’t have a pulse !?!??? Jesus Chris he’s not the absolute worst but I would never trash a child’s room, throw away a stuffed toy that obviously had a lot of sentimental value unless it was destroyed past repair and I would encourage a kid that young to draw, times tables can be learned later creativity is key in early childhood development. God star how did someone so awesome come from someone so tragic? It’s totally ok to cry as well over broken stuff I would have pushed my dad who probably is tougher then your dad out my room and blocked the door at that age. I’m sending new ninja turtles

This happens from time to time with military kids or when family members are ex military. My father was former marine and did a lot of what stars dsd did, albeit a bit nicer and never broke anything.

The room thing is called ripping, at least that's what my dad called it. Bed not made right, rip it. Bathroom not spotless, everything sent to the floor. Thankfully he never broke a toy or a frame or anything just rip the room and start over.

Hello I'm a former Marine and a bit new here but I plan to read the whole comment section b4 I tell my similar experience. During my time there was never a name for what the father did to her room but unfortunately it does happen in the Marine Corp. depending on who's in charge. This was done more often in boot camp.
In my experience the most common thing that was done was having people take all their furniture outside their actual room setup exactly the way it would look in the room and clean it top to bottom till its spotless then bring it all back into the room. It was called Chinese Field Day.
Not condoning this behavior just thought I'd give my two cents with actual experience.

Sadly a lot of people make it out as if it's something to be expected or just normalize it. The harsh reality is that some people aren't meant to be parents. They do it because of some expectancy to carry out the family tree or something like that. The unfortunate thing is that the society that we live in normalizes a lot of stuff like emotional abuse, verbal abuse, narcissistic abuse and so on and especially in other cultures that are very backwards minded or not as progressive too. Like I live in Kuwait so I can tell you how bad it is.

I have a dad like Mr. Bryce too...he tried to make me get rid of my plushies and well my dad used to put me into wrestling submission holds for punishment if he thought I was being standoffish.... God I hate that I still love my dad too. 😭 He even sold my gaming stuff so he could buy himself music equipment. We can't choose our family and to be honest, I wish I had siblings cuz I was an only child unfortunately and I got his wrath for pretty much any reason. Sorry for mentioning what happened to me when i was a kid. My dad was also in the Army and if I had a hard time with homework, he wouldn't help me at all with it and if I didn't do it myself he would make me go through "the school of dad" which was basically another word for do it yourself or get punished....

I do feel this page, because my dad was, and is still completely the opposite ... Totally absent, only coming home to drink, again and again, always alcohol...

20 years after, he is still the same, only drinking, not taking care of his children, and still trying to get the appreciation and "rewards" of his kids ...

My mother can't of course understand this, which is even harder for me .... I know this feeling too..

I thought having A would be good enough....

Im missing or forgetting something. what did alex tell the father? and what happened? or has it not been mentioned yet?

It'll be revealed as the story continues

thanks for the reply. great story so far and I cant wait to see what comes next

I'm so sorry. Both for you and for star.

Star's dad is not a good father. I'm sorry Sam, but no. Good fathers do not threaten their own children.

Well... I didn't know today's page was instead going to be a mirror.

Bastard, not dad! Grounding for A in exam? What an idiot! Father should love his children and treat them with care and love!

My mother does the same thing. She wants me to be her definition of normal. Well I am not her definition of normal. She does not want me to practice or participate in this kind of stuff so I know exactly what you are going through. I hope I can help in whatever way I can *hugs tightly*

I'm sure many have been like Star. Growing up with a father who wanted to make their child stronger but in doing so, they just made them into someone they don't know or love. Living a life that most likely isn't meant for her. I'm also curious as to what happened with Alex, as the tears and holding their nose suggest that physical altercation came forth and I hope that wasn't the case at all.

this page makes my dad and step dad look like saints. All they ever did was yell at me and hit me.

There's no reason to compare. Abuse is abuse, and any amount dealt to a child can change the course of their life. You suffered. That's OK, don't compare your suffering to someone else's and tell yourself that because they had it "worse" (whether that's objectively true or not), that your suffering was invalid. I dealt with mostly emotional abuse, manipulations and the like, while I was growing up with my stepmother. I grew to fear hearing her footsteps. I came to expect that every day would have another outburst of yelling at someone, and I could only hope that I wouldn't be the target. She would throw things around, but it wasn't normally intentionally directly at a person (only happened once that I witnessed, which is pretty solidly burned in my mind). That isn't the same as being hit, but they are both abusive behaviors that leave permanent emotional scars.

Wow, this page cuts deep. My father disowned me young and would come pick up my older siblings and leave me behind when he wanted to visit. Then they moved in with him for a few years till he kicked my brother out, then molested my older sister. For years I hated him, though recently I started to realize, I do not care for him, but, to hold onto hatred for a man I never even talk to was destroying me. I do not ever want any contact with him, but, my feelings are not quite as acute directed anymore, I cannot change the past, just try to be better than he ever was

It's good that you recognize all of this. Strong emotions are hard to discard. The last line in the comic, "I hate that I still love you," is the other side of the same coin. Whether love or hate, holding on to strong emotions like that for someone who no longer even thinks about you can easily destroy you. I still struggle with going out in some public areas because I'm afraid of running in to my first ex, who I had an incredibly strong emotional bond with. I still love her (not romantically, just actual love), but she absolutely hates me. I'm scared, and I still let that fear control me sometimes. And it's been nearly a decade since we broke up. My stepmother, I loathe her more than she probably deserves. I practically lived out of the basement of a local church to avoid seeing her for 2 or 3 years while I still "lived" at home (during college, didn't actually have my own place yet). I still hate going to see her, still have to psych myself up for a week to go over for 2 hours on Christmas Eve, but I at least don't think about her all year long anymore. It's a slow process, but healing comes.

Wow, even prince of darkness Satan doesn’t have daddy issues this bad.

So many feels! So many feeeeeeeeeels. *Donates all the plushes to you*

Reading that hurt, won't speak for you but it was stuff I recall and had to battle against but don't feel bad for that because..it needs to be aired and shared for what it is although like you, I do feel there was some underlining reason for tryin' to move you on, to 'toughen up' as it were.
Thing is, as we get older at least in law we have a choice to make to replicate what we experienced maybe with others or to rewite that script taking the good and processing the bad making new and better experiences, of being in relationships where we learn from each other.

Hugs, Chris.

Jesus....

I, think this is a common thing. I, don't get along with my Father that much. Unfortunately. It's a trope in other things as well. Anime for sure. Character doesn't get along with their father.

But, deep down, the Father wants you to be successful and strong. They, just don't know how to do that well or with the compassion or empathy that is necessary. At, least I think that is what is going on. I, could be wrong. I don't know.

Thank you for this. It's good to see that, we, are not alone. That we share in experiences that are negative. With that, we can work together to become stronger and recover from it. To, hopefully, not make the same mistakes as the past.

so many fucking feels. Is the trashing the room if its not clean enough something ex-military parents do or is that just a hard ass parent thing?

I can't speak for all veterans, but that doesn't seem common. My father never did that. My father-in-law, even with severe alcoholism at the time, never did that sort of thing. (He could be verbally or occasionally physically abusive, but never took that kind of action as far as I'm aware.) It is true that ex-military persons have a tendency to enforce some level of command, things like conducting room inspections, but not normally quite to that degree.

Mom was the kid of a marine drill sergeant I came home with my room in a pile in the center of my room more than once. Had a buddy who’s dad was x navy did same shit Maby it’s just a regional thing.

Absolutely possible. I may also just have had interaction with an abnormal group of veterans (my father, my father in law, and actually a family friend as well - father was army, friend was army, father in law was navy)

In my experience as a former Marine the most common thing that was done in the Corp. was having people take all their furniture outside their actual room setup exactly the way it would look in the room and clean it top to bottom till its spotless then bring it all back into the room. It was called Chinese Field Day.
Not condoning this behavior just thought I'd give my two cents with actual experience.

You are extremely brave for sharing this. Thank you

:(

You probably had a younger brother/sister, I mean, that's how everything changed for me. when my siblings we're born, everything changed and I was left to become stupid, unguided and physically abused.

I still love my siblings tho, it's not their fault for replacing me, that's just how fate wanted it.

That last line... it hits a little harder than I would like, I must admit. The heart doesn't care what the brain wants. There are several people I wish I could stop worrying and caring about, because it's so clear they don't love or care about me. And yet, I still love them. It's incredibly painful.

In my case it wasn’t my father it was my mother. Nothing was good enough for her. She wanted left alone but would break all your stuff with this “try to ignore my now.” Thrown in your face. She’d stab you in the back and break wooden spoons over your hide and then be hurt that you’re keeping your distance afterward. I can relate to having a bad parent. I keep my distance from her. She didn’t want one of her kids playing violin she wanted us to play the same giant instrument as her. So she broke my violin. She got mad I quit band for something I was interested in. Nothing was ever right for her.

The trust that's meant to exist between a parent and child can take punishment, but eventually it breaks under enough pressure. And once it's broken it never comes back. I had the crux point in my life following something pretty bad happening and the way my mother treated me during that time broke that trust forever.
She apologised a long time later, and I'll still enjoy the company of family... but no, I'll never trust her in the same way as before. That bond is a terrible thing to lose and I'm sorry that your father's actions put you through that.

*HUGS*

I can only imagine how hard this must have been to share in such a public way. Thank you though. Love your art and comics.

Personally, I hope this was a catharsis for you and helped you to work through the feelings you have.

I'm...honestly not sure if I should make this comment or not, considering that this is based on your own personal experiences. I don't know you or your father as a real people or what his circumstances were so please don't take any of this as a judgment on you or him necessarily, but more as a judgment on parenting in general and Star's dad specifically, as well as a complement to the depth of your character writing, as I see a lot of this reflected in Star's actions and character.

With that in mind, Star's dad is a terrible parent. I don't just mean in the moral sense because of his cruel actions, but in the sense that all of his parenting "lessons" teach Star things other than what he intends them to.

In the first example I assume his intention was to teach Star "It's important to work hard", but by framing it as being about making him happy at the cost of not doing what she wants to do, he runs the risk of Star learning the lesson as "It's important to work hard to make other people happy, even if it makes you unhappy". That is not something you want your child to internalize if you want them to be a successful and healthy adult. Fortunately, Star seems to have ignored that lesson for the most part.

The issue with the second lesson is that he doesn't make Star herself give up Bob. Not only is throwing him out unnecessarily painful, as making Star put him in a box in the attic or basement would have been more than enough to make his point, but because Star never got to "say goodbye" to Bob in a sense, rather than getting her to put away childish feelings and grow up the end result is a lack of closure for her feelings resulting in a desire to get him back that lingers all the way into her adulthood.

Lesson three is rather obvious. Destroying your child's room doesn't exactly show them that they themselves and their environment are something worth respecting.

The fourth example illustrates the broader point that runs through all four of them. Star's father is overly controlling. Being an overbearing authority figure in your child's life does not encourage them to take responsibility for their own actions. Exactly how can they be responsible for themselves if they aren't allowed to learn how to make responsible decisions? In the end, any responsibility they might learn this way would be reliant on an external fear of punishment or scorn from authority figures or peers in their lives, rather than from a genuine internal desire to take care of themselves.

tl;dr Star needs some damn therapy. Probably Alex too, where ever he is.

the sad part is, this is still mild compaired to mine

God, this hurts... Sorry I can't say much more than that. You're very strong, Star.

This page hurts. It must of taken a lot out of you!

I know how you feel I've been some of these situations myself as well especially at a really young age. Little backstory my father has had two other kids he has raised they've done some idiotic thing that have pissed my father off so being the middlish child (twin same age so I middle child) kinda sucked because when you have a father that has delt with so much in his life of raising two older idotic boys he kinda expects the same out of you doesn't mix well. My childhood wasn't the greatest as I had hoped (emotionally) most of my life I have done mistakes and have deserved some of the things that came to me but others weren't even my fault constant death treats, screaming, some spankings, complaining out grades (because some were F, D,C), constantly. He isn't a bad man but he's has done somethings that I feel like he shouldn't have done and he has thankfully done more good since I've been growing up. Even though I've been through some of these tough times thankfully my father has become a lot nicer but some of the thing he'd done have emotionally broke me down (thankfully i have tough skin and just brush it off now) but when i have kids I'm breaking that cycle of rudeness

Anyways sorry for the ramble I hope you are doing well and take as long as you need star. *hugs*

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5pdPcQZcmX8

I hope this song helps it has gotten me through tough times sorry if your not a fan of nightcore but in my case it helps. Sorry I couldn't link it I'm using a phone.

Damn that's a good mashup!

Yeah it is

God. What a sad page. My mom did something similar with regards to my grades (although it was if the grade was below a B- she would ground me). I am so sorry that this happened.

*hugs*

this is rough....sure a lot of people had a life like this..... hope star gets a chance to free herself of this

Oh. That's so rough. Even coming from a desire to prepare you for the world. *Gives all the hugs*

What a perfectionist bastard. (Army man or not, I forget if you said he was.)

Gotta love how he thinks Star isnt still mad about all of this and more, and yet is STILL complaining about her life choices...
Some people have no flerken awareness. All they see is themself.

Also, that last panel's dialogue, kinda reminds me of "Savior" by Rise Against among other songs (then again that song HAS been in my mind a little given my mom irl and just how *easy* it's getting to Hate her. Thank goodness I'm moving out but June can't come fast enough)

But I digress *gives the Lynx Bob, a blanket and a hug*

Maybe this is why Star became an ABDL. I've heard it's often the result of some trauma the individual experienced in their lives.

Beautifully written. Tragic and poignant. Can only imagine how hard it was to do, let alone share. Blessings!

With the extremes Star's dad went to, her mom has the patience of a saint. My mother, while she left my father for other reasons, this would have been more than enough for her to have left him , and take me and my sisters with her.

not a saint, but a victim too. I've seen tons of these situations sadly. u.u
Her mother looks just as powerless against him as everybody else, and can't protect her sons from dad cause she's just trying to survive her own marriage with that pile of crap. For one or other reasons she's learned to love, or learned to acept her powerless situation against him. u.u

True, I can see her being a victim, but at the same time, even in a victim state, there are plenty of times, someone would act on her behalf, indirectly, to better the situation for her, be it a friend, neighbor, or relative outside of immediate family. Now, I'm not saying that Star's dad is a horrible person, but he's got flaws in his personality, like Star stated, and, now I say this only from my personal perspective of the situation, he has this sense that he needs to be in control, and if something does not happen in accordance with his standards, he has to find a way to correct that error.

I may be wrong, but from what I see, Star's father is one who thinks that, when things are going wrong, others are to blame, and not himself. He thinks that he's always right, and he can't be wrong.

I've seen this in similar situations in the Navy. Some of my fellow sailors blame the rest of the world for their problems, because, where others succeeded in life, they failed, and they think it's not their fault they couldn't make it in certain fields of work, but the fault of others being bias towards people, and while I and other sailors tried to help them realize, they themselves had their flaws, they refused to see reason.

So, like I said, I can see this being the same situation with Stars dad.

But like I also said, I could be wrong.

From what I see, this may be the reason, why Star's mom has stayed with him, because she's the only one who understands her husband's flaw, and is the only one who can help him through it, no matter how long it takes. It may not be so much as Star's mom being a victim, as much as it may be she's one who is trying to save her husband from an abyss he's fallen into.

Very few people in this world have been rewarded with that kind of patience and understanding.

Well that destroyed my feels...

Oh my god i can releate (Lucky my parents is not like that at all). But i HATE As i call them perfectionist parents. There basically only love there child if they get A+ In school. And do everything perfect. Or gonna become a nurse, or *Insert a high paid job here*. Instead of just let them do what THEY Want.

While my parents are nowhere near as cruel or strict as depicted here, I can relate to this... and I hate it.

one toxie parent is really bad

Well Star's dad is a steaming pile of shit

That's not how to raise any child if all you tell your kids is that they're never good enough and you treat them as they are nothing and their interest are irrelevant they will grow up to despise you. Then they will leave the family and you will be left all along till you grow old and wither away without anyone else by your side.

This is relatable to me, sounds like my mom, my father never in my life and step dad very rare in my life. I still love my mom despite her abusing me, even though she would not admit it, I did forgive her when she died. There are times I wish I could talk to her and ask advice.

Oof... this is definitely a mood. I didn't experience a father like this, but mine was bad in different ways.

He wouldn't try justifying abusive behavior under the guise of 'being concerned for me,' he'd just be abusive and shrug it off or deny he did it later. He wouldn't make me clean my room, he just wouldn't give a shit other than have it be an excuse to yell at me later.

But that last bit, with Star's brother? Yeah... that one is 100% my father through and through.

And yet...

Seeing this made me realize how far I've come since my parents divorced. Its been almost twenty years since I last saw the old man, sometimes its easy to forget that. Twenty years, and while this made me initially angry as hell I realized that fury had no real bite to it other than 'man that guy is a shit dad.' That raw blind burning rage I used to feel for my own father... well... these days he really is no worse than a bad memory, and seeing this helped me finally get that.

I feel for Star, maybe even moreso for her brother, but at the same time it reminds me that not only can you move past the abuses a bad parent inflicts upon you, but that I personally have.

They say you can't choose your family, I say 'the fuck you can't.'

"ANSWER ME!"

I know that feeling, whenever He starts talking I freeze up: I can't move, I can't speak even my thinking becomes distorted, He always notices and knows that's his queue to rip into me for "not being able to have a real conversation" and the always classic "that was a question, now you respond." It hurts, it hurts to even think about and I'm sorry if that's what you had to experience it too.

*hugs* Take all the time you need. We'll still be here when you feel ready to get back online.

why is this telling me both her brother (possibly sister) and her father will find out about her "interest" with her brother(sister) siding with her while her father explodes in anger?

Damn... :O Woah.. poor thing.

I know these feelings.. my dad is dead ..make things right, and say the things you wanna clear when there is still time.

What happened to Alex

“I hate that I still love you”

That hit right in the heart. I don’t know how much more accurate that could be

"He may have been your father, boy, but he wasn't your daddy.” -Yondu, Guardians of the Galaxy

Jesus, this hits home. Star needs a hug.

https://youtu.be/BpwCJzPlz8k

I feel this song fits really well here.

We are genetically forced to love our parents. That doesn’t mean we have to like them. All of these fucked up things, all of these defining terrible memories, they exist to make sure it never happens again. Your self awareness is what sets you apart. These lessons are hopefully ones that no one else in your family will have to learn.

Well... if your goal was to make people cry, you succeeded thoroughly...

My official guess: Alex was gay and his father threw him out for it, and, maybe, in addition, he didn't want to enlist like the rest of his siblings.

I know how you feel. My mom gave all of my toys to my sister when she was born, and would laugh at me whenever I cried in front of her. She's said horrible things to me, like I belong in a mental asylum because I am depressed, and I must be a pedophile because I am a furry (she used to think the suits were to lure kids). She says she is accepting of different sexualities, but hates that I am bi. In fact, she doesn't believe in bi people at all. Only gay or straight, or 'confused'. She would always tell me I look sloppy unless I did my hair the way she liked, or wore what she wanted me to.

And despite it all, I still love her. She had me at 17 years old, and raised me on her own with very little help because my dad abandoned her. I think she did her best, we both had to grow up fast and she had to work a lot of jobs, and money was always tight. I know she didn't mean to take it out on me, but she had very little control over her life and I suppose controlling me eased that feeling of helplessness. I will always hate how she treated me, but I understand why, and knowing why helps me deal with her now. I know I can't change her, but I can change how I react to her, and how I let it affect me.

Man this page hit home. Especially the part about grades and "those better not be tears." I'm sorry you had to go through this, but you aren't alone. It's, unfortunately, way too common.

Great job with the page. It's incredibly well drawn, and I can feel the emotion just like...oozing off of it.

Try listening to this to help you relax
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rzV9GcEuY2o

Poor little star, I understand what you feel. HUG

Really painfully relatable. I can't wait until I can afford to move away from my family.

crippling strict expectations and further enhanced due to how we see things as a child when were young, so un fair but thats life, tough, i kina got the same situation with my brotehr but to a lesser exstream , though i agree with that statement from the past, its hard and its t iem to carry on but we don't have to go it alone ^^ lets grit our teeth and bear it awhile together.

This hit way too close to home for me... :c

This strip right here Star speaks volumes and is so relate-able it is insane. My father was a raging douche of a military man. He did all of these things and more to me when I was growing up. Looking back on the way he raised me when he had my lil brothers he did a complete 360 and they were treated way better than I was. We reconciled 8 years ago and we have never been closer.

That's just condescending and mean..... I hate the fact that this stuff actually happened to you, star..... that hurts a lot.....

Star's dad is about as terrible as my mom was to me. Bad parents are the worst. Should I ever get children I'll try to be an awesome parent. Still strict, but not unreasonably so and most important not an asshole.

I felt like this growing up like I can’t live up to my parents expectations and it’s worse for me because I’m the oldest kid in my family and my siblings look up to me and I’m. Failure

Jumping jehosephat....I wanna punch Stars dad right in the kinigy for all the crap he put her though. fucking bitching about not haivng a + despite getting an A in her exams and then grounding her for it...throwing away her toy and then destroying her room...he needs s serious ass kicking. and Don't get me started on what my mind is thinking he did with Alex

Recognize this, My family line has always been. Military or Government types. Going all the way back to the Tang dynasty. So there is a thresh hold standards we were raised by. I had to know my times tables before I was even in kindergarten, AKA before school even began. I was ordered to destroy all of my childish belongings then was made to do martial training. If I didn't clean my room correctly The room was trashed everything destroyed. A mouth off lead to a fist to the face. The only outlet I was allowed was music and Art. The reason for that was to perfect the mind to allow pure thoughts. This reminds me so much of my life when I was younger and why I choose to become the person I am. ^_^;; yeah I joined the military as my family dictated.But I am free now enjoying running my own gaming company. Being a artist though I been lacking in submissions lately been more working on mesh art lol. So thank you Star for this comic. I see a lot of truths people normally don't want to show in this life style.

My mom did some of the things in this to me too I feel your pain it sucks and hurts

Star are you ok😕

We're in a completely different comic now! Baton down the hatches! Shit's getting real!

This is just awful is worst than I imagined I'm so sorry it's just awful
Bright side of the page your master at hype arrived you passed the test with a a++++ for the tension built around what happened to Alex which I can't wait to find out

😢

I lived similar stuff, but instead of dad it was mom, my mom is like him

I'm sorry to hear that star. But I really hope we know about what happened to Alex. I'm curious on why he's been ostracized. What did he do?

Wow, I guess being raised in a military family must’ve been like hell. Peter really acts like a drill sargent.

I've gone through pretty similar with my poor excuse of a father.

Haven't talked to him in 20 years, bastard doesn't even try to figure out why I'm pissed at him. As far as I'm concerned, I don't have a father.

Do hope you don't hit that point, but if you do, best of luck.

This hits home, quite hard
The inner turmoil when facing scars so deep, you've expressed that perfectly here and the last panel I've found myself in many many times...

sadly, as someone who did have both an abusive and a loving parent, it's not that easy. You may recognize the abuse, but it's hard to completely cut someone off like that, after having been with that person for so long. A part of you wants to love them, wants to forgive them, wants to make excuses for them...

Why does this remind me so much of my own dad....?

<3

Star, you are incredible brave for putting out these scenarios. Sometimes art can be a healing tool. I can relate to this ever so much. Mainly because not only my ex-step-dad was an asshole but my bio sperm donor is one as well. My mother was pretty much hardcore on me throughout my life and still is to this day. I barely have love for either of my parents. It hurts so much because I was raised to be a family girl. They are the reason why Trust is so hard for me to have for anyone. I was mentally, emotionally and physically abused for most of my life. Whether it was my parents or my grandparents.. or even a former boyfriend.. I lived for the abuse.

Now that I am out of any abuse.... It feels very off most of the time not to get abused... not to be cut down. I often search for it. It is a huge habit that I am trying to break.

Overall, Star.. what I am trying to say.. You are one heck of a person. You deserve happiness. It is okay to love a parent but from afar. It is why I cut out my bio sperm donor. I love him but I cannot be around him. Just do what is right for you, hun. Not for what others say you should do. *snugs.*

Wow... yeah, that's... wow... that is rough... and honestly, I can see how those scenarios can lead someone to being an ABDL in the first place; your dad made you grow up too fast. Also, with your 3rd one, your dad is just kinda a dick. Broke your shit because you didn't clean your room exactly right? fuck that shit.

Yeah, kinda flares up feelings about my abusive mother

That is nothing short of emotional abuse! GRAAAAH! THAT is an example of someone who should have never been a parent in the first place! And he had the AUDACITY to be surprised to find Star wanted little to do with him during her visit!

My stepfather did this to my little sister..I've been dealing with his abuse for 20 years but she's been dealing with it her entire life.

People like this. Should not have children. They should have their knee caps broken.....

I still wonder if I had broken one of his beer bottles across his face the first time he broke one of moms bone's if it would have helped my sister in the long run by making him think twice before hurting his family................ but it would have just scared her.......And then i wouldn't have been able to be there for her anymore...

But at least the scars all over his face would have made him as ugly on the outside as he is on the inside.... Made it so he can't fool people into thinking he's a nice guy anymore.

Bruh. This hits home for me. My dad was never physical with me or destroyed any of my things, but he definitely isn't someone I care for anymore. Hes always angry all the time and my parents constantly fight. He drinks tons and favors my brother over me. I cant even speak in my house about my loves or interests anymore. I am nothing, but a disappoint to him. I fking hate parents like this. Treating your child in such a way has no excuse for it.

I... I really wish I could go to you and give you a hug IRL. I can feel the emotion that you put into this, and I can tell that it must have been hard. I'm proud of you for drawing it, and putting it out there. I'm proud of you very much Star. I really am.

I've seen this so many times. My dad was the exact same way and I always wondered if it was actually abuse or if I was being weak like he told me I was.
Thank you Star again for this comic

I can honestly say I feel this page

I know alot of why parents act like this is because their parents did that stuff to them and it was seen as normal once

No it's not an excuse

I think Fred Rogers said it best " the only way you should raise a child is by remembering what it was like when you where one"

So many people forget what childhood is like

They think just because they survived trama that it is okay to spread it

And our society has this whole emphasis about abandoning things we love as a child and acting like an adult as soon as possible

Honestly a lot of that bs is why ABDLs exist in the first place

As a society we need to stop pushing this idea of growing up fast, and just let the tides flow

Let people be childlike as long as they can, because that joy and Innocence amazing

You see adults like Robert Ross and Fred Rodgers who never lost that spark, and I think we can all agree the world would be better with more people like them

mood

Jesus, my dad was over the moon when I got a "B+" on my final exam

Honestly I think hatred gets a bad rap. I know this might be an unpopular opinion, but hatred is a normal, natural emotion no different than love. It is perfectly fine to hate someone and wish they could be made to suffer for what they've done to you.

There was a girl who picked on me as a kid. She made my life miserable and gave me issues I will be dealing with for the rest of my life. I was very happy to learn she had become a heroin addict and turned to prostitution for her fix. I was extremely pleased when she got sent to prison. To me she can never, ever suffer enough.

So Star, go ahead and hate. The day your dad needs you, spit in his face and tell him to f-off and die. He deserves it.

Interesting thought. And very well written, by the way.
I too feel that hatred is more powerful than any form of "love" will ever be. I mean I literally feel energized by the endless amounts of spite and disgust I have against humanity after everything I've been though. Anger, angst, and flat out hate are only dry feelings of despair. Hatred is by itself the essence that divides chaos and disorder from the delusion of peace and order-- a soul of pure darkness and despise to see right through the enemy's lies.

We should all go to war! Band together as brothers and sisters in arms against all odds in a place they want us to call "home."
And even when the fighting days are numbered, the battle goes on. Seig hell unto any who dare oppose the rebellion they caused by refusing to demonstrate kindness and compassion!

I have a feeling u haven't seen real war or the affects of it. If u have u'd never want to see it again. I knew actual people who have died from a pointless war.

Yeah had the same daddy issues. It’s sad how dads are trying to help but sometimes they make things worse.

God this is way too relatable. My dad really messed me up and I hate him for it, but for some reason I still can't bring myself to cut him out of my life. The fact that a page like this got finished at all is incredible.

I can relate to that too.

I recognize some of these events from journals you've shared about IRL experiences. The feels ;_;

WOW such emotional abuse breaking the toys. Getting an A but not good enough that is a narcissist/ emotion vampire has to have everyone around them miserable to make them selves happy!
But great art work

i wonder what Alex told his dad?

Oof. I know that feel.

I feel that pain

Sometimes you know deep down they are not bad but they are doing things that they only know how to and it hurts the person

this page hits home form for me

Your father, at least here in this story, and my father, have a lot in common.
I never could be good enough for him. Served up with names like "Half A Job" and was told "you're not going to be anything but a failure.". The actual phrase was "If you don't buckle down and study, you're not going to be anything but a failure."
Seems a like sixty some years into my life, I'm a failure and always have been. A self fulfilling prophecy. By the way, my IQ is two points below genius, yet I graduated high school in five years instead of four second from the bottom of my class.

I couldn't stand my father so much that when he was coming to visit family on the West Coast I refused to go. My sister finally talked me into going, but in my pocket I had a. 45 caliber pistol round I was going to give him. I was going to tell him that if he ever hurt me again he wouldn't see or hear the next one. But, that day, he got 'old' in my eyes, and I never gave him the round. Still scares me, still has damaged me, but as much as I dislike him, he is my father and I still love him.

Sound familiar?

I understand Star perfectly.

Hugs you tightly. You ARE loved, you ARE worthy, and your pictures ARE wonderful and bring much happiness to so many people. You ARE gifted.

HUGS!

The way you describe it, it almost sounds like you simply decided that it would just be a waste of a bullet.

No, it would have been a waste if I had given it to me. When I say 'he got old', he wasn't as scary any more. He wasn't the life long threat I had always perceived. He wasn't the man that could hurt me any more. I assume somewhere along the way, I grew up a bit.

Recent studies have found that I have some endocrinological disorders, and they have affected not only physical development, but mental development as well. As I said, I'm 62, and only within the last two years was this discovered. To say that I have been, and even now remain immature would be the understatement of the year. Possibly why I'm an AB. However, had we known that earlier, things might have been different, although I doubt it.
People are a product of their environment, and that includes parents. They too were once children, and in retrospect, once I figured this out, I could see how my father, as an only child, berated by his mother, left alone by his father (who believed children are taken care of by their mothers) that he turned out the way he did because of forms of abuse in his own home.
Not all abuse is physical, and the mental and emotional abuse is the hardest to recognize, especially when you don't want to look in the mirror.
No, when my father arrived on the West Coast, he didn't scare me. The monster that had been created in my own mind was more like a lizard now. I still do not interface much with my father, 3,000 miles helps in that regard. But, that does not mean that I don't love him. He gave me life and has always, in his own way, tried to make the best for me. Much like Star's Dad, and probably Sammy's too, based on her comments, he wanted to do right, but did not know how to.

Ah, so it's more of "chose to break the vicious cycle" thing then (presumably combined with realizing that time and age had already erased "that man" a long time ago)?






(Still, you have to admit that would've been a badass thing to mutter under your breath while dramatically walking away...right?)

Now we have a new question, "What happened to Alex in that bottom-left panel?"

There it is that trauma cause her to want to be an adult baby makes sense but why love a father like that he's horrible family or not I'd cast anyone horrible into the pits of fire

Oh damn, that's a heavy page. I'm so sorry you went through all that.

I'm really sorry you had to go through all of that.. I kind of have daddy issues too because of the same reason, I just got beaten as well..
I know how you feel and I have a lot of respect for everyone who went through this. Good Job Star.. You survived the hardest battle of them all..
Just remember your community is always here for you <3

So many feel ahhhhhh. This hits close

damn these are right in the feels. especially knowing they're real for you, and at least to some extent real for a lot of us too.

It's caused the prickly mask I'm going to spend many years yet dismantling.

Dang Star, getting grounded for A is some pretty high standards. I'd hate to see you get a B+. I would have killed to get an A in most of my classes. Lol

Sorry to that that happened to you Star, I can relate in a couple of those things. I know parents try to try their best. Sometimes though it can be to much.

wanting so much expectation makes people (induvituals) see blind. i'm so sorry for you this happend.

sadly my dad is a horrible person.... never admits fault.. never takes the blame, blames me for everything... yells in my face for poor grades and says i should learn to say "would you like fries with that" all he did was give me PTSD and severe anxiety..... I havent spoken to him in 6 years all because im trans and he doesn't want jack to do with me now.... sorry.... just stired up alot of back memories.. i'ma go hide in a corner now

i am sowwie you had to deal with that. that is abusive behavior. good intentions don't change the severity of the actions. when i came out to my parents as trans they ignored it and tried to surpress any femininity i tried to express and though i am myself now they refuse to use my name or pronouns, they did it out of love because they dont want me going to hell, it doesnt make it any less abusive and terrible because they are ignorant of how bad their actions are.

...... Fuck..... I mean, there's no other word, ffuuucckkk man.....

I mean, I won't lie, my dad wasn't THAT harsh, but this still resonates with me. If I got B's I was okay, C's were ground upon, but it was only rarely I was punished for them... My dad was Coast Guard, I dunno if that was one reason he was just a bit mellower. But I was also homeschooled later... He got really frustrated when I struggled to grasp a concept, and that could get.... testing...

It's one of those things, where you wonder if you would have been worse without the intervention, or better. Like, by Pop actually let me keep the plushies I really latched onto as a kid, as keep sakes, but all the other ones, and old, out of date video games were yard sales or goodwill. I think it was to make me less of a pack rat, but sometimes I wonder if it makes me want to hold onto stuff more...

Thanks for sharing sparkles, it really comes through how close this hits to home for you, and know that many of us can relate to varying degrees.

Oof. Babygurl, I feel for you. I hope drawing this out may have helped get your emotions out. I know it's hard. I'm not sure if it helps when people relate, but your first couple of panels remind me of my dad. He...wasn't a military brat by any means, but he was very mentally unwell. I remember being five years old, and I would try to lock my door (make sure my parents were outside smoking and talking first), and turn on PBS kids so that I could watch Clifford! Or Sagwa...

One time he caught me watching Barney and just made fun of me the whole time. My mom says that she "doesn't remember that" and that I might just be overthinking it, and that it was his way of trying to bond with me and maybe "give the characters funny voices". :/ It never felt that way. So when I got a little older, and I would make friends in kindergarten and first grade, I would make fun of them for watching any of those things.

So now...I find myself watching all the kids shows that I never got to finish as a kid. XD My dad passed away in 2014, and we never got to have a true heart to heart about anything because he had been an alcoholic his whole life anyways...

Sorry I kind of rambled! I don't get to talk to anyone about this stuff.

I'm not as active on fa as I would like to be because I'm even embarrassed of myself surrounded by all of these amazing people :') but with that being said, I purely get on to read your comics and journals! If there is ever anything I can do, let me know.

You’re fine everyone needs to ramble sometimes.

Aw, thank you!

I want to give you all of the hugs and kisses. No one should have to go through that.

What military rank does he have to have a stick that far up his ass I wonder

What happened in that second to last panel? did someone hit alex? Also remind me who alex is again i cant remember.

Alex is stars brother

I can't help but to cry over this page no-one should go through this kind of abuse.
I can't say that I didn't felt a resemblance with my family I'm so sorry for this

I feel this on a personal level. Very well done.

Reminds me of what my dad told me, He said his dad used to be in the Military and his brothers would have to make their beds so smooth that his dad could bounce a coin off of it and if it wasn't good enough, they had to do it again. Luckily i haven't experienced anything like this, But i have people around me who have and it is just sad to hear about it! At least now you are reliving your childhood the way you want it :)

So is Alex is gay? Seeing the way Mr. Bryce raised his kids is wrong, I’ve heard of tuff love but that was not that, it was Militaristic and if Alex is gay very homophobic.

Furry comics don't usually get an actual emotional reaction out of me, but this... ouch

Though I would consider myself more in the neglected category rather than the abusive

:I

Has real feels for this, and I'm glad you were able to talk about it... While my experiences weren't the same, I know the feeling of hating that you still love your parents too well...

My mom is a hoarder who had to raise me and my brother by herself because she left my dad due to him being gone too much in the military, working a second job to help get by, etc. And my dad wasn't always in the picture because again Military but then drinking his way into a dishonorable discharge after she left, and them eventually divorcing before he married my step-mother on the other side of the country. All before them getting back together again...

Their Love-Hate relationship, mutually abusing each other, his drugs and alcohol, and her hoarding and micromanaging, really screwed with my head growing up... and I spent most of my adult years not knowing how to get by but wanting desperately to get out. Thankfully I have been for 5 years now and 3 states away, but they keep pulling me back in, and I can't just say no because I can't lose them...

*hugs* I'll be on everything will get better you just need to be strong, I'll be strong with your I have to go to my abusive mom on Tuesday

I can relate to the "act your age" and the "failed inspection" parts, but wow. Breaking of her toys? "Where's the plus"??!! It's one thing to be realistic and attempt to prepare them for the real world, mine did that. But to demand "perfection"?! Star, I'm sorry. If you childhood was like this in real, my respect for you just tripled.

Yeah I can relate as well. For the failed inspections though he wouldn’t break them he would throw them away.

Mine threw my underwear all over the floor/room. I'm still trying to get the "Where's the plus" part. That's like when your child brings home a 97 on the hardest test of the year, and you ask "What happened to the other 3 points?" That's just, ..... I just can't grasp that a person could be like that.

Whoa.
Powerful.

That's so sad,you have to go trough this , nobody need to growth up so fast , I still have my dino toys nobody can touch them,im sending virtual hugs to you now,please take care love you 🐅💝

Well damn, this hit hard.. Well done <3

Oof right in my feels.

Collective group make star feel better hug?

I had a lot of the same experiences growing up and it really sucked. My dad and I have a better relationship these days but that isn't saying a whole lot. None of those things are necessary for raising a child and mostly I think they were harmful. Thank you for this page.

this just reminded me why i don't want kids as i know i be a bad parent. that said awesome job

This reminds me of my own father and my feelings toward him. Well captured, hon.

This story just took a really dark turn

Oh star....

mm this hits lil close to home... that said great work

U as well, then?? I know 2 well how people like that can be like. Having both my father and step mother do those kinds of things from when I was 12-26 years old. (I’ll be 29 in September) No one should ever have 2 go through that. Just need 2 work on getting through each day at a time. And making beautiful work like this is 1 way 2 do it. Though u don’t know me, I really love ur work and everyday I look forward 2 seeing wut comes next.

Sadly this is all to relatable, except my dad did not have any kind of mental issues going on... he did things like this and said it was military training and that I needed to get used to it

I've know people like Star's dad, and by that I mean narcissistic A-holes. Sadly, people like him really aren't capable of love. To him his children are property he owns no different than his car or TV, objects existing solely to please him and be put to use in any way he sees fit. So when Alex came out as gay (I assume), he didn't see him as his son who needed his support. He saw Alex as a defective appliance and threw him away without a second thought.

My did is a narcissistic A-hole. He tried to tear our family apart by telling all of us (siblings) lies about our mom. I’m not ready to tell the world about what he did to me and my sister but I hope I will be ready some day.

Damn, those are some heavy feels.... Thank you for sharing that with us. I really do hope you are okay after putting that out there.

*hugs*

Just a little note, in the 5th panel, shouldn't 'exceptable' be 'acceptable'? He is asking if she thinks it should be accepted, not whether she thinks it should be excluded. At least that is the way I read it.

My daddy issue is that he died when I was 16.

Those first two are shockingly common. Meanwhile, those last two are just plain shocking. It amazes me what some parents think are "properly raising your child" and "will help them in the future" not knowing what effects it will all have down the line.

im sorry for you star . I hope you can still contiune the Story with the Feelings . And never Forget we will support you alweys :' ) . ( I crrayed to reading it )

My Dad is military, like Star's although he is Airforce. He was always a bit abrasive whenever he was home, when I got older we butted heads more than once over things. He always expected his requests to be given priority.

He retired, then left my mum suddenly, then filed for divorce soon after. He didn't really try to do things amiably, When asked why he wasn't going to couples counselling, he replied, and I quote 'I'm not a headcase'. To be honest he had a volcanic temper so we were all a bit scared to even broach anything that might upset him.

Turned out he had been unhappy with retirement, rather than talk to us, had been talking to a friend, a friend who has three failed marriages and kids he wants nothing do with. He had been saying nasty things about my mum and often put his needs before hers.

He always cited money, as far as he was concerned, it was never THEIR money, he had always thought of it as HIS money, he had even been squirrelling some away without my mums knowledge. She had to fight him for her share of the RAF pension. His selfishness even cost us our house, what was meant to be our forever home after moving constantly for years.

This page sums up alot of my feeling for him, I hate him for what he did, for what he cost us, I keep my distance from him and fight my instinct to do what he says after years of it. I hate him, and I hate that I still love him despite all the shit he's pulled. Although our relationship will never be same as it used to be.

Well, the answer is no; I wasn't able to make it through this page without tears. The whole page had me close but the last line did for me... because it's making me think things I don't want to think about a family situation of my own... but that's not anything that anyone else needs to worry about so I'll subconsciously trying to bring the subject around to my own issues...

It really must have been hard getting this out so thank you for trusting your followers with this.

THis was definitely a hard one to read, but it's importance definitely shows. It sounds like her dad wanted to do good by his daughter, but he went so extreme with it and got so caught up in molding her to how he thought she should be, he didn't even think about how he was hurting his kids

HOLLY SHART thats not cool no wonder stars still a kitten she was forced to grow up

Papa star your a nasty man...but you were raised wrong

I would give anything to have a father I got raised watching my mom get abused by a pedifile

This page got harder and harder to read with every panel. Destroying someone's personal property is practically a direct attack on a person's identity, and his reaction to Star's 'A' on a college exam really struck an angry nerve with me. How one feels about a parent can be a very complicated thing. It's hard not to love a parent just for being your parent, even if they failed in their performance of the role. If they weren't a parent it would be extremely easy to hate them with every fiber of one's being if they behaved this way. However, all these sentiments flowed through my mind before I got to the panel with Alex. I can see now that those issues of Star's childhood and college years are only part of the underlying issues with Star's father. I can't begin to fathom how she must feel about what happened with Alex and the role she unwittingly played. Still, it's in human nature to want to have a positive relationship with parents and when vehemently opposing viewpoints factor in like this, it will inevitably be more difficult for nature to take its course. One can only wait and see what the future pages will bring. Thank you for sharing. :)

It’s so relatable that it almost hurts. I had to deal with it most of my life. But I still love him even after everything he put us through. I don’t want to but I can’t help it.

all i can say is. this hits home hard. thank u for being brave enough to show us this, star :"(

I've been reading this comic for a very long time first time posting a comment on any of your work this one hit me the hardest in being relatable to how life has been for me all the years I've been in school hope you are safe during this pandemic and I love your art style

Is Alex gay or trans? That's what vibe I'm getting I feel like Stars dad who in the military the idea of that especially in his time would be disgraceful so he is probably homophobic

That “I hate that I still love you” line is one of the most relatable single lines, or even phrases, I’ve ever read...

Damn... That last part... That's deep and yet so true for many people... This world is just full of pain...

Edit: P.S This is the only comic that made my cry and actually feel sorrow

Well... Can't say I don't relate to the whole "Lots of horrible twisted and confusing daddy issues" thing x.x Especially that last line... whoof... gosh.

I hope you don’t mind but I’m gonna ramble for a little bit.
I don’t remember anything good about my father but I must have had some good times with him.
I was getting ready to head to bed when this one memory popped into my head. It’s not a good one but I decided to share it on here.
I was mad at my dad for some reason I don’t know why but because of that I didn’t talk for the entire day. I just fixed myself a bowl of leftover chili. I was heading to my room to eat it when he walked up to me and asked me what I was eating. Being mad at him I showed him what was inside the bowl and I know he knew what it was but he wanted me to tell him. (I’m pretty ticklish.) He tickled me until I got sick. He then got pissed off and threw the entire bowl of chili into the trash,(the bowl was ceramic) then hit me in the back 3 times as hard as he could then he locked me in my room and didn’t let me come out until the next day.
Let’s just say after that I was even madder at him for a while.

People are jerks. Forgiving jerks is important, but only if they recognize that they shouldn’t and try to stop. Being gay and stuff can be really scary, especially when ignorance is everywhere. The worst part is the ignorance in yourself that you constantly learn about.

I was always told that you dont have to like your family, but you have to love them. so i try to live by that, even if i stopped talking to my father 2 years ago, hes still got a spot in my heart. Hate how hes treated me, but hes family in the end. Same for my bro, hes a lil shit but hes my brother still.

Sharing blood does not make them family. Family loves, accepts you for who you are and protect you. They don't give you grief for no reason.

It hurts just reading that, I never had to go through anything near as bad, but things have happened that certainly put up some barriers, some more serious than others.

Very painful....

I dont understand the 5th page... ;-;

I've known people who grew up with parents like this and from knowing these people in the long term recovery is possible. Realizing that they can't control you anymore is an important step. Seeing a therapist helps too.

I'm so sorry this happened to you and to everyone else who has had similar experiences with others.

Ah, inspections...that wasn't fun. I'm sorry your dad did that to you as a kid kitten, that's really not okay. You're right to cry, that doesn't make you weak. You made it through all of that...awfulness.

Saw a new page for Shine. Got excited. Read new page. Cried. Star I hope you feel better soon. It can't be easy to make a page like this. I understand all too well how it feels. I just really hope we can get our squiggle back soon kiddo. *super snuggle hugs*

I think that last panel really shows the true struggle, both with your situation and others. No matter the horrible things parents/family do to us that special bond holds us and finds ways to make excuses for unreasonable and sometimes inexcusable actions. No parent is perfect however some of this is legitimately damaging. I hope we'll be ok and cant wait to see what happened with Alex.

Seeing the transition from last page to this is REALLY dark, it's really sad

a las, I can understand. It's okay to cry *hugs*

She needs to chew that bastard out the same way Meg told off Louis in the family guy show

Aim right for the feels and personal emotions