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This is my first poem I'll ever publish openly. Well, "publish" in a way. I've made some stuff before but I've never shared my work, but I feel comfortable enough with the state of this one that I thought it worth sharing. I'm very new to writing, only ever publicly wrote for school work. I guess we'll see how this one is welcomed.
Category Poetry / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 6.6 kB
Listed in Folders
Lol, those dog-gone typos!
Especially the ones that seem to be because your brain just totally spaced out for a second and you forgot an entire word, as opposed to just a misspelling or something. XD
I mean those are frustrating too, but, y'know.
Anyway, to try and be sincere now. First of all, if this is indeed about your family situation, I offer my sympathies.
As for the poem itself, I feel a relative sense of rhythm even though its structure isn't a super-regimented one. For me, this is nice because, while I would presume that this poem would be filed under "free verse," it's not completely "all over the place," so to say. It's flexible, but not overly fluid.
What I'd say I like the most about the way this poem is done is how the descriptions of the Shattered Man shift from things like a hobby of his, or his career, to the matters of how he relates to the family. It begins to become more personal, between the poet and the Shattered Man, as the eyes go down to the next line or verse and it expresses how thoroughly this person has changed in his life. And not for the better, it would seem.
In short, I don't claim to be a master poet by any means, but I feel this is a fine bit of work, especially if this is the first/one of the first things you've done for yourself beyond a school assignment or the like.
Whether you try to do more writing/poetry or not, I hope the experience of doing it this time was rewarding for you on its own, and that you can continue to get something out of it if you continue doing it to any extent.
Take care!
Especially the ones that seem to be because your brain just totally spaced out for a second and you forgot an entire word, as opposed to just a misspelling or something. XD
I mean those are frustrating too, but, y'know.
Anyway, to try and be sincere now. First of all, if this is indeed about your family situation, I offer my sympathies.
As for the poem itself, I feel a relative sense of rhythm even though its structure isn't a super-regimented one. For me, this is nice because, while I would presume that this poem would be filed under "free verse," it's not completely "all over the place," so to say. It's flexible, but not overly fluid.
What I'd say I like the most about the way this poem is done is how the descriptions of the Shattered Man shift from things like a hobby of his, or his career, to the matters of how he relates to the family. It begins to become more personal, between the poet and the Shattered Man, as the eyes go down to the next line or verse and it expresses how thoroughly this person has changed in his life. And not for the better, it would seem.
In short, I don't claim to be a master poet by any means, but I feel this is a fine bit of work, especially if this is the first/one of the first things you've done for yourself beyond a school assignment or the like.
Whether you try to do more writing/poetry or not, I hope the experience of doing it this time was rewarding for you on its own, and that you can continue to get something out of it if you continue doing it to any extent.
Take care!
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