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I want to say a big thank you to Eveser for being my editor (OMG I still can’t get over the fact I have an editor!!)
http://www.yiffstar.com/?action=watchlist – have a look at some of his stories!!
Sorry that it is a bit long!
Thank you so much for looking!!!
http://www.yiffstar.com/?action=watchlist – have a look at some of his stories!!
Sorry that it is a bit long!
Thank you so much for looking!!!
Category Story / Fantasy
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 189.8 kB
I've sort of had you on watch, wanted to read this next chapter before I gave any opinions, etc. First of all the story is good. There are some minor things here and there, but nothing on a whole that really detracts from the story (For example, here in the states public school goes to age 18, after that if you continue you're in a college of some sort, these are minor issues that don't affect the story really so I wouldn't sweat over them).
The biggest issues you need to improve on are grammar and spelling. I would suggest a good spell checker and grammar checker, that would probably help with a lot of it. Your layout needs to change a little bit, you don't need to put a new line between each piece of dialogue. I would suggest that if you could do it, either take a creative writing course, or get together with some other writers in your area and spend some time helping each other improve on the little things.
Again, I -like- the story, it's thought out and enjoyable. I think you have talent or I wouldn't bother with the advice. Just keep writing, that's the most important thing. The other stuff you can learn with time and practice.
The biggest issues you need to improve on are grammar and spelling. I would suggest a good spell checker and grammar checker, that would probably help with a lot of it. Your layout needs to change a little bit, you don't need to put a new line between each piece of dialogue. I would suggest that if you could do it, either take a creative writing course, or get together with some other writers in your area and spend some time helping each other improve on the little things.
Again, I -like- the story, it's thought out and enjoyable. I think you have talent or I wouldn't bother with the advice. Just keep writing, that's the most important thing. The other stuff you can learn with time and practice.
Thank you so very much!!!!!
Thank you for the heads up on the age and school/college thing!!
I use the windows spell checker but I don't know any other or where to find them but I will have a look and to keep a keen eye on my spelling and try my best with my grammar...............I’m doomed !
I'm not sure if there are any of those groups in my area as I live in a small village and live on a farm but I will have a look around.
Once again thank you so much for just giving it a glance let alone a read, so thank you so much for commenting and giving some really helpful advice and information!!
P.S. sorry for the late reply as thinks are getting a little interesting on the farm and in life, sorry!
Thank you for the heads up on the age and school/college thing!!
I use the windows spell checker but I don't know any other or where to find them but I will have a look and to keep a keen eye on my spelling and try my best with my grammar...............I’m doomed !
I'm not sure if there are any of those groups in my area as I live in a small village and live on a farm but I will have a look around.
Once again thank you so much for just giving it a glance let alone a read, so thank you so much for commenting and giving some really helpful advice and information!!
P.S. sorry for the late reply as thinks are getting a little interesting on the farm and in life, sorry!
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