Maybe I’m misreading the situation.

Sorry, Philip. You just wouldn't cut for it. Hold your yapper, and be glad they might think you were the father. Might!

A dragon guard is great for keeping unwanted monarchs away.

The king was in shock; his wife ordered a bad dragon.

I guess its time to make the reveal. This is actually from a Medieval book about the life of Alexander the Great. According to legend, Zeus came to earth in his original form of a "Drakon" and impregnated Olympias, the Queen of Macedonia, with her Husband Phillip watching. The resultant baby was Alexander the Great! When real Medieval culture dragons were not always branded being the Devil, etc. as back then it was understood that the highest of heavenly creatures, the Seraphim, were "Dragon shaped Angels" as the ancient Christian and Jewish texts clearly stated. (Many modern Christians try to cover this up). Satan was simply a "fallen" dragon among a host of "heavenly" dragons that supposedly would devour the wicked on Judgement Day.

"Henry, dear, you need to close the closet door more tightly. This won't work properly if we can still see your face."
"Oh, yes, sorry, Ma'am."
"Grrr... well, I can still smell him."
"Nothing to do about that... Now, come closer and give me a little more heat this time..."
*heavy breathing from behind closet shutter*

"Fap fap fap fap."