Family drama from last year... I still haven't healed from that.

It extended all the way into Christmas with shit happening and I was stressed all to hell about it. I took time off of work, in order to focus on my mental health, then quit my job due to my own mental state crumbling, then my workplace becoming toxic due to new management and everything going to absolute shit.

I then recently as of January 16th 2020 had to give up the one constant companion by my side.

I feel as though people aren't listening like they think I can just...push through this without having time to heal.

I cannot do that.

It has been one thing on top of the other the past few months and I've finally just...broke down, I have clinical depression and everything piling on top of each other like it has...I can't just push it away, I can't just shove it down and keep going.

I have been crying almost all night because of things that have happened the past couple of days due to a mistake I admitted to.

It was my FIRST TIME on my own giving up a pet. It's hard, and it broke my heart having to give up the one thing that kept a routine in my life, and would be by my side when I woke up.

Five years.

gone in an instant.

I haven't been thinking straight, I've made mistakes with money.

I'm going to try and be better.

But right now? I need to heal mentally and emotionally.

Which takes time.

It takes a lot of time.

So please, just be patient with me. That's all I ask.

I've been having more bad days than good and I'm trying here. I really am, and I'm only human, I'm going to make mistakes and I'm going to learn from them but for me things take a bit longer to process than most people. It's how it's been for a while now and that's how my mind is. It takes longer for me to learn things, to figure out where I went wrong.