I obtained a jester kobold design from a friend a while back, and finally got around to writing a story with him as the star. His name is now Icarus, and he works with a phoenix jester named Orion (a revamp of a king character who appeared in a vore story I wrote a long, long time ago). This story reveals what their average tavern show looks like, and involves plenty of stuffing and a voracious finale!

The jesters Icarus and Orion entertain a crowd with their silly and inevitably voracious antics...

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The Dinner Show
By: Indi

The tavern was packed that night, as it was on most nights. Good food and ale had brought in the majority of the patrons, but plenty were also there for the entertainment. Instead of the usual bard or dancers, the tavern hosted a pair of jesters.

One was Orion, a tall and lanky phoenix dressed in ashen gray that dulled his brilliant plumage. A plain metal mask covered the top half of his face. While in character he was keen on stern expressions, always acting overly serious. It was a stark contrast to his partner, a kobold named Icarus.

Icarus had gray scales, but wore bright purple and white. His silly cap had two points, each of which ended in a bell. An even bigger bell adorned the end of his tail, jingling loudly with every wag. He bore a permanent grin no matter what, and his eyes seemed perpetually closed.

Orion slammed a wooden mug on a nearby table, quieting the tavern some and getting everyone’s attention. “Ahem. Tonight I bring you the gift of an incredibly informative presentation on the proper preparation of a perfectly balanced pork feast.” He gestured towards the table behind him, which was filled with food and a sizable keg. “Careful attention will be necessary for you lot to absorb all this wonderful knowledge, so there will be absolutely no distractions of any sort!”

There were a few chuckles from the patrons, both because of Orion’s excessively verbose introduction and the fact Icarus was juggling a plate, a fork, and a knife right behind him. When Orion turned a look of horror spread across his face, and he glared at his small accomplice.

“None of that Icarus! We’re here to teach, not to play, so put those down this instant!” Orion huffed and fumed dramatically, before returning his attention to the audience.

With expert precision Icarus tossed the tableware one piece at a time into his mouth, gulping them down with a grin. There was more laughter from the audience, much to Orion’s apparent confusion.

“Anyway. Choosing the right drink for a meal is of the utmost importance, so that’s where we’ll begin. I highly advise against going with mere water or whatever swill you’ve all selected tonight.” A mix of snorts and boos, along with a couple drunken agreements. “Instead a fine wine is in order.”

The phoenix grabbed a goblet and went to the keg. He filled it slowly, barely lifting the tap at all. In the end he only filled it halfway.

“Wine is the sophisticated choice for a sophisticated meal.” Orion left the keg, swirling the wine in his goblet ever so gently. “And like everything in life, it must be enjoyed in moderation. No guzzling or chugging or—dare I even say it—belching. No, you must sip the wine, and never—ever—go for seconds.”

As Orion rambled, Icarus approached the keg himself, also holding a goblet. He looked towards the small goblet, then the keg. After making sure his partner wasn’t looking, the kobold swallowed the goblet, then positioned his open mouth below the tap and turned it to full blast.

Wine immediately began gushing down Icarus’ throat. It was a torrent, gallons pouring out and not a single drop wasted. He kept at it until the flow of wine became a trickle, then stopped completely. Despite having clearly drunk the entire oversized keg, Icarus’ middle looked just as flat as ever.

Icarus turned towards the audience, Orion still going on and on, oblivious to it all. The kobold grabbed the ends of his long tunic and lifted it up. A gray, round belly ballooned into view, bouncing and sloshing from the abrupt exposure. He shook his hips, causing it to sway and wobble, much to the amusement of the patrons. Before Orion could turn around to figure out what was going on, Icarus swiftly pulled his shirt down, compacting his belly back to nothing in the process.

“Icarus you’d better not be making faces behind my back,” Orion said. He returned to the keg to pour some more wine, but all that came out were a couple drops. “Icarus, I swore this was filled before we arrived!”

The kobold shrugged innocently, eliciting laughter. Once Orion had turned back to the keg he belched up his goblet, which bounced along the floor.

“Manners, Icarus!” Orion chastised.

While he grumbled and mumbled about the mysteriously missing wine, his accomplice was on the move. Icarus ogled the feast on the table, particularly the massive roast boar. He wagged his tail and jingled its bell, and magically the boar rose into the air. Icarus happily waved his claws like a conductor holding a baton, and the boar responded to his whims. It hovered vertically above him, and Icarus opened his mouth wide to greet it.

Icarus greedily gobbled the entire boar, nice and steadily. Just like with the wine, his middle remained flat. Though the boar had been at least as big as the kobold was, it vanished in seconds, no match for his ravenous appetite.

The cheers of the crowd drew Orion away from the keg, and he noticed the boar’s absence right away. “Where...where did my boar go!”

“Perhaps it ran away,” Icarus offered, giddily.

“A roasted, toasted hunk of boar can’t run away you fool!”

“But what if a necromancer raised it from the dead and made it scamper off?”

It was an absurd proposition, though Orion appeared to take it very, very seriously. “Of course, no one hates gourmet cooking more than necromancers. Those horrid, dreadful, boar-snatching fiends! I should search for clues to whatever abominable hex was used. Icarus—entertain our guests while I work, but be classy about it!”

The kobold nodded and snickered, now center stage. He patted his flat middle and stifled a burp. His claws inched down towards the ends of his tunic, and he grinned wider than ever. In a flash he lifted it, and his belly spilled out.

Icarus’ middle had grown over twice as large as before, striking the floor with a muffled thud. He happily rubbed the mass filled with wine and meat, looking exceptionally proud of how ridiculously he’d stuffed himself. For a solid minute he played with his belly, using his magic to lift it off the floor and swing it around. Again he belched, and the apple that’d been in the boar’s mouth flew out.

Orion turned around at the sound, but was too late to catch Icarus’ show. The kobold had already pulled down his tunic, his enormous middle hidden. “I said be classy, not be crass.” He sighed. “Well the boar may be gone, but I can still salvage this presentation. I’ll need a volunteer, someone who’s willing to taste-test a few of the other completed dishes. It is an arduous request, so I understand if no one is up for the challenge.”

Of course half the tavern volunteered, causing a ruckus as people waved their arms or shouted loudly. A plump horse was the lucky one chosen. He finished the last of his ale and stumbled towards the table, obviously rather drunk.

“Icarus, watch the remaining food so it doesn’t get stolen like the boar did.” Once he’d gotten a nod of assurance he turned away. “Now, before I can describe the various dishes, I must first tell the stories behind their creation. Years ago, in the sun swept countryside of my youth, I would take daily strolls…”

Behind him, Icarus let out an exaggerated yawn. He looked up at the horse and grinned, ringing the bell on his tail.

From below the table a funnel floated. It danced before the horse, then forced itself into his mouth. He pulled at it in confusion, but no amount of force could counter the magic of Icarus. The food arranged on the table lifted up, forming a line that led right to the funnel. One-by-one each piece launched into the funnel and down the horse’s throat.

Unlike Icarus, the horse’s middle swelled right away. As he continued to struggle against the funnel his belly steadily expanded, bulging more and more by the second. It strained his tunic and belt, both of which tightened and creaked as they attempted to contain his forced gluttony.

The belt was the first to go, its buckle snapping off. The tunic ripped along the sides, revealing the horse’s round, stuffed middle. Getting stuffed proved exhausting, and the horse started struggling less. Though the commotion provoked lots of laughter from the audience, Orion didn’t seem to notice, still going on and on about the apparently necessary backstory of each dish.

Once the last plate had been emptied into the horse, he was left utterly engorged. His gut was huge, so big he instinctively cradled it so he didn’t fall over. But with a jingle he was floating, and falling was the least of his worries.

The horse was lifted up and spun a little, every angle of his bloated belly shown to the rest of the audience. Icarus then licked his lips and patted his middle, before angling the horse’s hooves towards his open maw. All the tired wiggling and squirming in the world couldn’t shake the horse from Icarus’ magic, and soon he was being gulped down just as easily as the boar had been.

Rather than be shocked or concerned, the audience merely cheered the voracious little kobold on. Most assumed the horse was in on it. The rest just thought it was funny.

Hooves, legs, and rump vanished down Icarus’ throat. Once he reached the horse’s belly he grabbed it with both claws and squeezed, pulling both physically and magically. His jaws wrapped around his stuffed prize. The horse’s eyes widened as only his head remained free. He wasn’t entirely sure himself if getting swallowed whole was just an act, if he’d be let out after. And he didn’t have much say in the matter.

The horse was crammed in, funnel and all, and with a triumphant swallow he was gone. Icarus looked absolutely elated, basking in the applause that erupted from the crowd.

“But I’m not through yet!” Orion insisted. He gasped when he turned to face Icarus, suspecting more shenanigans from the kobold. “The feast! It’s, it’s all gone! How did this happen again!”

“The hungry horse scarfed it all down and fled,” Icarus said, still smiling. “He gobbled and gulped and glutted and gorged, till his belt buckle burst and his tunic tore! I was too shocked, too stunned, too sickened to stop him!”

“That ungrateful fiend!” Orion roared, believing every ridiculous word Icarus spouted. “He must’ve absconded with the boar as well. No wonder he was so portly and plump. Oh if I catch him, I may eat him myself, as shameful an indulgent act as that’d be!”

Icarus burped. “I have a feeling he’s delectable. He can’t have waddled far, Orion! I bet you could catch him if you left right now.”

“Splendid idea, Icarus, the first good one you’ve had all night.” Orion clenched his fist. “That fatty food thief won’t get away from me!” The phoenix rushed out of the tavern amidst uproarious laughter. The second he was gone, Icarus lifted his tunic up.

The kobold’s belly swelled even greater than before, so huge he was lifted atop it. It was like a small gray mountain. Icarus relaxed at its peak, admiring his gargantuan gut with glee. It wobbled slightly from the horse’s struggles. Occasionally the bulge of a hoof or a muzzle could be spotted pushing against the surface, but they didn’t last long. The horse was buried in too much wine and boar to effectively fight back, and being comically stuffed himself certainly didn’t help.

On the other hand, being preposterously stuffed was a delight for Icarus. The secret stuffing shows were his favorites. All he had to do was sneak and glut and snicker on que. It was less impressive than his more complex juggling acts and didn’t show off his wit as much, but getting to gorge more than made up for that. And for some reason the audiences were more than eager to toss extra coin just to watch him eat.

Icarus gave a mock bow, beached for the time being. A bit of magic could pull his tunic back down and compress the mass of his belly down to a manageable size, but he wouldn’t get to enjoy the sheer heft of it that way. And neither would the audience. Instead he’d let them marvel for a while at the kobold with a bottomless appetite. Maybe one day they’d even be lucky enough to end up as part of the show themselves.

The kobold flipped off his cap and hovered it around the room, letting the patrons toss in coins in appreciation for the show. And all the while he imagined what it’d be like to gobble them all up.