My Freshman year of MCAD, at the beginning, was pretty magical. I in another state, away from home, living with actual roommates for the first time (who were awesome guys), was surrounded by creatives, in a school that would help me achieve my dreams. I dreamed of developing the skills of mainstream DC and Marvel comic artists and making amazing work. I wanted it all, and I genuinely felt that, if I worked hard enough, I could obtain it.

What a naive fool 18 year old me was. I wanted to improve myself as an artist during the Fall (Which, they had us in Foundational courses so I couldn't really work on comic Art per say) , so I did a bunch of stuff for the TF community (Which you can check out on the BootBros account on FA) as practice to try and better myself while building a name in that specific community at the same time.

I thought things were going well even though I was pretty bad at everything that wasn't writing when it came to class work. I get art is a personal journey but the other students were miles ahead of my own skill level at the time.
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/33857432/
That was fine, nothing a little study and practice wouldn't fix, but the culture of the department was that students seemed to treat you differently based on your skill level. It was as if your worth was determined partially on how well you can create.

Couple this with the fact that my roommate actually told my furry secrets to someone he thought was his friend, who then went around telling anyone who'd listen (thus outing me as a furry with a specific kink to the entire school) and my MCAD experience came to a quick downward spiral. Even in art school there's toxic cliques (something I realized the hard way multiple times too late) and I no longer knew who to trust.
I say this cause, revenge is/was a big motivator for me as a creator. I had the mindset that I was going to improve so much that they'd have to acknowledge my work and that I was better than them. (I pulled a Naruto and wanted to become Hokage)

But, as a side effect, I became unhappy with MCAD's cirriculum. The cirriculum was oriented around creating Independent Traditional Media Comic Artists, nothing like the Digital Mainstream Comic Art that I had envisioned when first attending school. My best skill had always been digital illustration paired with writing, yet the assignments had me using traditional mediums I was unfamiliar with and then grading and critiquing based off the shoddy work produced (and then judged by my peers). How could I get my revenge if I couldn't use my best skills and the work I made using my best skills was targeted towards the furry community. (lol)

My work was improving (and people noted it) with each independent work I did (lord knows the class assignments weren't doing it) but after a year with a crazy roommate (long story) I had become very frustrated with the school. The only thing stronger than my depression at this point was my desire to prove everyone wrong.

Entering my Junior year I had one mindset I should of had all along. Use all the resources I have at my disposal to improve. I bought $350 worth of artbooks and I read through every single one of them and took notes. I spent more time at my studio and only used my apartment to sleep. My roommates commented that I was never there because I was working so much. I did Inktober, 24 hour comics, school work, independent work, work work work.
I was spending 12-16 hour days at my studio, only stopping to run Dance Club, use the bathroom, eat, or watch Les Twins videos.

That's when Junior Review happened that Fall of 2015. While the teachers were impressed with my studies and committment to improving, the fact remained that, with the body of work I had done, my skill level was just not up there.
If I could explain how I felt in a 1 min video, it'd be this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kscWbXMjV7Q
"Fuck it, if I can't dance, I'll just join the Drama department"

I voiced to my professor a month later that the MCAD Cirriculum just isn't working for me and did my own studies outside of my schoolwork. (Something I should have been doing the entire time) I figured, if I couldn't outdo my peers in drawing, then I was going to run circles around them everywhere else.

Weeks before the end of my Junior year, in Motion Graphics fx class, two people I thought were my friends were messaging each other on an IM (I just happened to see it). One (just call her Sun) I really liked had moved away and this was the first I'd heard from her since Freshman year. They were talking about me (which is what caught my interest, unaware to the girl that was on the computer).
Sun: "omg I remember kellen"
Sun: "has he gotten any better?"

I thought that was a really odd question.

Girl: "Not really."

Little did they know, that was THEE spark that set off what's led me to where I am today.

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