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I absolutely love how this one turned out. My favorite part is the part about the snow in front of the flashlight. I tried to mimic an old mythological metaphor that consisted of life being compared to a bird flying in one window, escaping from the cold night, and the flying out another window back into the darkness.
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Category Poetry / All
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Size 78 x 120px
File Size 1.9 kB
maybe you should change this sentence "Titan, following John, trotted silently along the path, moving away from the house." to "Titan followed John, trotting silently along the path as they moved away from the house"
i just think it flows better and there were too many commas it bothered me @_@
i just think it flows better and there were too many commas it bothered me @_@
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