I've known a lot of cats that had rough lives, whether they were abused or just got screwed by genetics.
Imari stuck it out a lot longer than I was expecting.

I'm equally surprised by how long he lasted, and by how short his life was. The vets CONSTANTLY reminded me that the outcome of this was not good, but they also said there's a chance. I clung to that chance so hard. In March of this year (or May, can't remember which..) his blood levels were all perfect. We thought we'd take him off of meds and he'd go into remission for who knows how long. Maybe forever!? It was looking so good. But reality came back in. It's rarely ever that good. And yet, despite how weak he was in his last week of life, he stayed alive for days longer than they expected. Unfortunately, his heart gave out as I was literally in the car, 40 minutes from seeing him again, which really, really hurt, but honestly, he held on long enough. He tried, too.<3

:( I'm so very sorry to hear that. Sun and I lost one of our cats a year ago when he was only four years old from FeLV and we still don't know where he got it from. I'm just glad his brother was able to fight it off.

I'm sorry. :( On the very first day he was seen by the ER, last year, they tested him for FeLV. It came back positive. We tested him 5 times since then, all negative. It kind of has been on the back of the doctors minds that maybe he did have FeLV but not the active virus showing up on the test. I don't know how that works, but it was always on the mind. That first day, (which was also sadly his 1st birthday. What a way to celebrate) they asked me if I even wanted to go through with the blood transfusion because of the positive FeLV test. I felt like I was going to lose him that weekend, so suddenly. I had it done, and we got an additional year and 2 months together. Not nearly enough, but it was something.

From what I understand the snap test performed in the clinic tests for the virus in the blood. There is a lab test (immunoflorescence) that tests for the virus in the cat's DNA, which is where it incorporates itself into and can reoccur later in life due to high stress, compromised immune system, etc. At least this is how it was explained to me.

The snap test is the first one they did, which was positive. The remaining tests were IFA and snaps that were all negative. It seems safe to me to say that he was negative, but who knows. We never did get a chance to test his bone marrow for anything lurking in there.

It feels so much more real, seeing his face. I can't imagine how painful these last few months were.

At the risk of seeming maybe too invested, I'm really proud of you for doing all you could, even when it hurt. I only wish being good of heart wasn't so expensive, but we're all here to help you ease that burden.

Thank you <3

sorry for your loss

That looks like a plain scam to me. My mare's horse had to be in a clinic for 2 or so months incl8uding surgery - and she had to pay roughly the same amount.Granted, we don't live in the US, but alas.. ..only shows to me how greedy medical service are in the US.

But rambling aside, I am sorry that you had to say farewell to Imari. *offers a hug* my condolences, Ajna.
Unfortunately I cannot afford a commission at the moment, but I am going to fav this picture to maybe spread the word that way. Good luck with raising the funds to pay for that overblown bill

Such is life in the USA, sadly. You need 10s of thousands of dollars to get anything done around here.

One of many reasons why I am glad to not live there.

Gotta say that most of vets (considering dogs and cats) will cost you similar % expenses compared with average monthly wage of respective country. We had strayed cat which ended after few years with diabetes. Insulin twice a day and he passed being 12 y.o. Of course any other serious illness that time would mean euthanasia bc of no more money to cover it and especially time.
In the middle Europe as a low grade pharmacist I earn roughly 1100 -1200$. Almost third of it are living costs with food.

Precious little baby. You can tell he loves his moma. Im sorry he left you so soon.
I must say he looks quite handsome in his little outfit.

(Actual) Total: $300
Subtotal: $5,140
Your payment: $937

?????

Not sure what the $300 is, but the subtotal is the complete amount billed for the entire weeks stay. The $937 was the final payment I made. I paid the $5140 over multiple payments. Each time I'd visit him, I'd pay a little bit of the total balance.

Oh wait, the actual total is what is added up for the charges shown? This is the final page of a multipage receipt.

Maybe this helps
https://www.dropbox.com/sh/54lh565r.....LxgL-oVXa?dl=0

Ah, was thinking as a former math major that said receipt looked kind of fishy.

Yeah, I literally counted up what was on the page, sorry for the confusion.

Sorry to hear all you went through with him...really is a shame....definitely not easy to go through.

Awww I'm sorry to hear from your loss. I lost my cat three years ago and I still miss her. We burned her and the urn is now on her favourite place she was, above the bed of my mom.
Everytime I see this urn and the pictures, I remember the wonderful time we had :(.

I will toss you a few coffees on Ko-Fi the next days.

I'm so sorry to hear that. aspecially at such a young age...
i remember the pain i felt when my first cat passed. saying goodbye to a friend
like this is a heavy burden, even if you only had him for 2 years, it's still painful.

at least his short life was a nice one with someone who loved him.
i think this is the most important aspect of it: to have your pet feel truly
loved by it's owner. this way he experienced something not every cat will
experience in their life.

you did what was within your possibilities and you most certainly did more than
many others would be willing to.

remember him as the savannah cat with the awesome personality that he was.
and remember you'll never be alone, he will come and visit you in your dreams :)

Oh, God, I've had to go through that juggling act. "Do I keep them around or do I let them go? Whichever I do, is it in their best interests or is that just what I told my selfish self to feel better?" You obviously love them, and you hope you're doing the right thing, but it's an awful situation, no matter what.

*Sends hugs*

I'm so sorry. He was such a handsome, bright boy. I'm so glad he found you to live his life with, and so sorry you didn't get the years of making joyful memories together that you both deserved.

so sorry for your loss...poor kitty
makes me cry...just wish I could help

Aw man, this strikes so close to home that I'm tearing up. We've had eight cats in 45 years of marriage. They're like family, when you lose one, it's like losing a piece of your soul. When they just die, that's bad enough, but having to put one down tears your heart out, regardless of the circumstances. We had to put down my wife's beautiful female calico, Mason, earlier this year. (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/18356957/) She had an event on a Sunday evening that caused caused her to scream and collapse on the living room floor. It looked like a heart attack to me (it was). Bentley, the resident house panther, came running to her side and kept licking her until she could get up again. No one can tell me that your pets don't know what's going on in their homes. When we got her to the Vet on Monday afternoon, she was obviously in distress, labored breathing and all. By the time the diagnosis was in, she was on oxygen long enough for us to say "goodby."

The next day, when my wife's long time "boss" learned what happened, he said, and I'm paraphrasing this, 'I've been a dog person all my life. I've had them just die on me, but when I have to put one down, it just rips me apart. That's why I told my kids that the Vet is more important than their pediatrician: when I come home the dogs are happy to see me but you little shits could care less.' His wry sense of humor put a much needed smile on our faces.

*BIG HUG*

For whatever it's worth coming from just another rando, you have my deepest, sincerest condolences. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Your friend was beautiful. u_u

Much sympathies on your loss. Truly cat friends are indeed most special friends.

The moment I saw the picture on the right of your cat, my heart sank because I knew from past experiences what that meant and I started to tear up knowing the pain of losing such a loving soul. My family has lost several pets in different ways that all hurt, but losing any pet after struggling to keep them going is one of the hardest I've ever experienced. I'm not sure how much money I have right this minute, so tomorrow I'll take a look and see if I can send some money to help you.

I'm truly sorry for your loss, but he knew that he was loved and that while his life was short, it was a happy one.

:c

*offers hugs*

I'm deeply sorry for your loss but thank you so much for giving this kitty the most care and love and hope that anyone could give any pet. You're a wonderful person and I hope you find some peace in time.

Oh geez, I'm so sorry.

I am sorry for your loss.

The Little Orange Boy (Choosing Tears)
~ Anne Kolaczyk

The little orange boy stopped. Behind him, kitties were playing, chasing each other and wrestling in the warm sunshine. It looked like so much fun, but in front of him, through the clear stillness of the pond's water, he could see his mommy. And she was crying.

He pawed at the water, trying to get at her, and when that didn't work, he jumped into the shallow water. All that got him was wet and Mommy's image danced away in the ripples. "Mommy!" he cried.

"Is something wrong?" The little orange boy turned around. A lady was standing at the edge of the pond, her eyes sad but filled with love. The little orange boy sighed and walked out of the water. "There's been a mistake," he said. "I'm not supposed to be here." He looked back at the water. It was starting to still again and his mommy's image was coming back. "I'm just a baby. Mommy said it had to be a mistake. She said I wasn't supposed to come here yet."

The kind lady sighed and sat down on the grass. The little orange boy climbed into her lap. It wasn't Mommy's lap, but it was almost as good. When she started to pet him and scratch under his chin like he liked, he started to purr. He hadn't wanted to, but he couldn't help it. "I'm afraid there is no mistake. You are supposed to be here and your mommy knows it deep down in her heart," the lady said.

The little orange boy sighed and laid his head on the lady's leg. "But she's so sad. It hurts me to see her cry. And daddy too."

"But they knew right from the beginning this would happen."

"That I was sick?" That surprised the little orange boy. No one had ever said anything and he had listened when they thought he was sleeping. All he had heard them talk about was how cute he was or how fast he was or how big he was getting.

"No, not that you were sick," the lady said. "But you see, they chose tears."

"No, they didn't," the little orange boy argued. “Who would choose to cry?”

The lady gently brushed the top of his head with a kiss. It made him feel safe and loved and warm -- but he still cried about his mommy.

"Let me tell you a story," the lady said.

The little orange boy looked up and saw other animals gathering around. Cats--Big Boy and Snowball and Shamus and Abby and little Cleo and Robin. Merlin and Toby and Iggy and Zachary. Sweetie and Kamatte and Obie. Dogs too--Sally and Baby and Morgan and Rocky and Belle. Even a
lizard named Clyde and some rats named Saffron and Becky and a hamster named Odo. They all lay down near the kind lady and looked up at her, waiting. She smiled at them and began:

******************************************
A long long time ago, the Loving Ones went to the Angel in Charge. They were lonesome and asked the angel to help them. The angel took them to a wall of windows and let them look out the first window at all sorts of things--dolls and stuffed animals and cars and toys and sporting events.

"Here are things you can love," the angel said. "They will keep you from being lonesome."

"Oh, thank you," the Loving Ones said. "These are just what we need."

"You have chosen Pleasure," the angel told them.

But after a time the Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge.

"Things are okay to love," they said. "But they don't care that we love them."

The Angel in Charge led them over to the second window. It looked out at all sorts of wild animals. "Here are animals to love," he said. "They will know you love them."

So the Loving Ones hurried out to care for the wild animals. "You have chosen Satisfaction," the angel said.

Some of the Loving Ones worked at zoos and wild animal preserves, some just had bird feeders in their yards, but after a time they all came back to the Angel-in-Charge. "They know we love them," they told the angel.

"But they don't love us back. We want to be loved in return."

So the angel took them to the third window and showed them lots of people walking around, hurrying places. "Here are people for you to love," the angel told them.

So the Loving Ones hurried off to find other people to love. "You have chosen Commitment," the angel said.

But after a time a lot of Loving Ones came back to the Angel in Charge. "People were okay to love," they said. "But sometimes they stopped loving us and left. They broke our hearts."

The angel just shook his head. "I cannot help you," he said. "You will have to be satisfied with the choices I gave you."

As the Loving Ones were leaving, someone saw a window off to one side and hurried to look out. Through it, they could see puppies and kittens and dogs and cats and lizards and hamsters and ferrets. The other Loving Ones hurried over. "What about these?" they asked.

But the angel just tried to shoo them away. "Those are Personal Empathy Trainers," he said. "But there's a problem with their system operations."

"Would they know that we love them?" someone asked.

"Yes," the angel said.

"Would they love us back?" another asked.

"Yes," the angel said.

"Will they stop loving us?" someone else asked.

"No," the angel admitted. "They will love you forever."

"Then these are what we want," the Loving Ones said.

But the angel was very upset. "You don't understand," he told them. "You will have to feed these animals."

"That's all right," the Loving Ones said.

"You will have to clean up after them and take care of them forever."

"We don't care."

The Loving Ones did not listen. They went down to where the Pets were and picked them up, seeing the love in their own hearts reflected in the animals' eyes.

"They were not programmed right," the angel said. "We can't offer a warranty. We don't know how durable they are. Some of their systems malfunction very quickly, others last a long time."

But the Loving Ones did not care. They were holding the warm little bodies and finding their hearts so filled with love that they thought they would burst. "We will take our chances," they said.

"You do not understand." The angel tried one more time. "They are so dependent on you that even the most well-made of them is not designed to outlive you. You are destined to suffer their loss."

The Loving Ones looked at the sweetness in their arms and nodded. "That is how it should be. It is a fair trade for the love they offer."

The angel just watched them all go, shaking his head. "You have chosen Tears," he whispered.

******************************************

"So it is," the kind lady told the kitties. "And so each mommy and daddy knows. When they take a baby into their heart, they know that one day it will leave them and they will cry."

The little orange boy sat up. "So why do they take us in?" he asked.

"Because even a moment of your love is worth years of pain later."

"Oh." The little orange boy got off the lady's lap and went back to the edge of the pond. His mommy was still there, and still crying. "Will she ever stop crying?" he asked the kind lady.

She nodded. "You see, the Angel felt sorry for the Loving Ones, knowing how much they would suffer. He couldn't take the tears away but he made them special."

She dipped her hand into the pond and let the water trickle off her fingers. "He made them healing tears, formed from the special water here. Each tear holds bits of all the happy times of purring and petting and shared love. And the promise of love once again. As your mommy cries, she is healing.

"It may take a long while, but the tears will help her feel better. In time she will be less sad and she will smile when she thinks of you. And then she will open her heart again to another little baby."

"But then she will cry again one day," the little orange boy said.

The lady just smiled at him as she got to her feet. "No, she will love again. That is all she will think about." She picked up Big Boy and Snowball and gave them hugs, then scratched Morgan's ear just how she liked.

"Look," she said. "The butterflies have come. Shall we go over to play?" The other animals all ran ahead, but the little orange boy wasn't ready to leave his mommy. "Will I ever get to be with her again?"

The kind lady nodded.

"You'll be in the eyes of every kitty she looks at. You'll be in the purr of every cat she pets. And late at night, when she's fast asleep, your spirit will snuggle up close to her and you both will feel at peace. One day soon, you can even send her a rainbow to tell her you're safe and waiting here for when it's her turn to come."

"I would like that," the little orange boy said and took one long look at his mommy. He saw her smile slightly through her tears and he knew she had remembered the time he almost fell into the bathtub.

"I love you, Mommy," he whispered. "It's okay if you cry." He glanced over at the others, running and playing and laughing with the butterflies.

"Uh, Mommy? I gotta go play now, okay? But I'll be around, I promise."

Then he turned and raced after the others.

Sent a little something your way.

Sorry to hear your furbaby lost his fight.

He's probably hanging out with our Felix, teasing our dreams with cuddles and purrs, reminding us we are loved.

Many thanks. It's really appreciated. <3

Sorry about your loss. Losing pets is never an easy thing to go through. It hurts.