guys, big thanks for the support. for me.. it was really important for me to hear support and understanding. it remind me that I'm not alone. t-thanks.
I'll start with the bad news. two days ago, in addition to everything, something happened to my computer, most likely with the motherboard(later I will take it to the repair shop). I already have money saved, because was going to upgrage computer. but..it was too sudden. I wanted as usual to sit down at the table, sip the coffee and get to work, but then computer do a thing, I fussed cleaned the dust, connected and reconnected wires, looking in bios and so on all for nothing. I still have laptop and tablet, can to transfer data from the hard drive, so I think the work is not too stalled.. still further. just another not very pleasant event from which I want to hide in the nest under the blanket, so that everything has passed already.
middle news. yesterday deployed laptop as a temporary workplace. old, noisy, but it works. I finish straight urgent cases, though it's hard. something is good, something not quite...and something from me not depends, but in anybody would still boils thought "you could would still week ago call, it's all your fault".
and good news is, I called the therapist. I was first given a wrong number, so I've stopped to write on whatsapp because was ignore. and today me gave the right number and I immediately(almost) wrote. the session is next week, and while I write down and sketch thoughts and images, I gather my strength. I'm straight exhaled and began to cry with some relief. familiar.. like, you know, I signed up with this, now I can't turning away or anything.
once again I will remind that all you a beautiful sweet buns ~ ❤