I want to First off thank my very good friend 401 for the continuing inspiration to write.
https://www.furaffinity.net/user/401/
Thank you for reading my story!
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Over, and over, and over she went through her plan. “Why am I so nervous?” She thought. The leopard stars at the ground. “We’ve known each other for years. She is my best friend, and I love her.” The leopard paced outside the restaurant anxiously. “Where is she?” She looked at her phone. “She said she would be here five minutes ago. Maybe she changed her mind.” Over and over and over, she turned the ring her pocket. “I shouldn’t worry, she is always running behind, that silly fox.” The leopard chuckled to herself.
Georgina had known Sage for a very long time. They practically grew up together and had been best friends since they were in school. After they graduated high school they parted ways sage pursued a career in music, and Georgina had gone to college to study business. After Georgina graduated she moved back to the city, and lived together with Sage. By then Sage’s band had played a few gigs and was starting to gain a small following. They just needed a manager, Sage asked her long time friend Georgina to be their manager. Georgina of course agreed, but she never expected the band to get as big as they had. They had just signed a multi year record deal and was about to tour the world. The first few years of managing them, a small spark of romance had developed between the two. Small flirtations, lead to dates which lead to making out in the recording booth. Which led to here, Georgina waiting and turning the ring in her pocket waiting for her best friend.
“Sorry!” Georgina looked up seeing a short red fox running towards her. Sage stopped in front of her, breathing heavily. “I lost track of time, I’m so sorry I’m late!” Sage smiled at Georgina. “I was starting to worry about you.” Georgina chuckled. They and exchanged a quick kiss. “Why did that kiss feel different?” The leopard thought to herself. Sage blushed “can we go eat now? I’m starving!” She giggled. Georgina took the fox’s hand “let’s go eat!” and walked into the restaurant. The pair walk in holding hands, and approached the waiter. “Georgina party of two please.” She leopard spoke to the waiter. “This way miss.” The waiter led them through the room. “Georgina, this place is kind of pricey. Should we eat here?” Georgina panics slightly “oh, I thought we should celebrate the band getting signed.” Sage thought for a second “I guess your right, we can afford to celebrate a little.” she smiled. The waiter leads them to a balcony seat with a view of the city. Sage gasped “Georgina! We can’t afford this! What are you doing?” This wasn’t part of the plan and Georgina freaked out slightly. “W-we are celebrating we should let lose a little. right?” She waited nervously for Sage’s answer. “You’re acting strange sweetie, is something wrong?” Sage’s bright green eyes met Georgina’s with worry. “Oh, it’s the weather...allergies you know?” Georgina said while scratching her neck. “If you say so, but if something is wrong please tell me okay?” Sage quickly kissed Georgina and sat down. The leopard sighed in relief and gave the ring a slight squeeze before sitting down.
The fox’s bright green eyes met the leopard’s brown. “Damn it! Why am I so nervous?!” Georgina thought to herself. “What am I afraid of? The worst she can do is say no.” A shock wave of horror flooded her body. “Please say yes” she whispered. “Say yes to what?” Sage asked curiously. Georgina instantly snapped back to reality and blushed deeply, “uh...to the wine, it’s really good....” she mentally cursed to herself. “Are you okay? You’re acting weird.” Sage grabbed her hand. “I’m fine...just a little nervous about the tour.” Not her best lie but it seemed to have worked. “Yeah, I’m a little worried about it too, that’s a lot of shows. What if I’m not good enough and the crowd hates us?” Sage squirmed nervously in her chair. Georgina squeezes her hand “listen to me, you are the hardest working, most talented singer I’ve ever met. They are going to love you!” The leopard smiled warmly at the fox. “I guess you’re right, I am pretty awesome.” Sage laughed. “She has no idea how amazing she really is.” Georgina thought to herself. “It’s almost time, oh god. Please say yes.” Over and over and over. She turns the ring.
The pair continued to talk for a few minutes before a string quartet approached and began playing a waltz. Georgina stands and offers the fox her hand “may I have this dance?” Sage blushes and takes the leopard’s hand. They begin dancing around the balcony, arm in arm and hand in hand. The song finishes and they kiss, “you never want to dance with me. What’s the occasion?” The fox smiled. “Sage, I’ve been thinking. With us signing the contract and the tour about to start. A lot things are changing, our entire lives are about to change. That got me thinking about how I wanted to spend my life...about who I want to spend it with.” A shock wave went through sage “W-what do you mean?” The fox said nervously. Georgina dropped to one knee, “We have known each other our whole lives. We have been best friends since I can remember. I want to make our hearts one. I want to spend forever loving you and only you.” She takes a deep breath “please say yes.” She thought.
“Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!” Sage’s brain was working in overdrive. Georgina pulled the ring out of her pocket. “Sage Vulpes, will you marry me?” Sage’s heart exploded. “YES! Yes! Yes!” She screamed. Georgina jumped up and they kissed passionately
https://www.furaffinity.net/user/401/
Thank you for reading my story!
___________________________________
Over, and over, and over she went through her plan. “Why am I so nervous?” She thought. The leopard stars at the ground. “We’ve known each other for years. She is my best friend, and I love her.” The leopard paced outside the restaurant anxiously. “Where is she?” She looked at her phone. “She said she would be here five minutes ago. Maybe she changed her mind.” Over and over and over, she turned the ring her pocket. “I shouldn’t worry, she is always running behind, that silly fox.” The leopard chuckled to herself.
Georgina had known Sage for a very long time. They practically grew up together and had been best friends since they were in school. After they graduated high school they parted ways sage pursued a career in music, and Georgina had gone to college to study business. After Georgina graduated she moved back to the city, and lived together with Sage. By then Sage’s band had played a few gigs and was starting to gain a small following. They just needed a manager, Sage asked her long time friend Georgina to be their manager. Georgina of course agreed, but she never expected the band to get as big as they had. They had just signed a multi year record deal and was about to tour the world. The first few years of managing them, a small spark of romance had developed between the two. Small flirtations, lead to dates which lead to making out in the recording booth. Which led to here, Georgina waiting and turning the ring in her pocket waiting for her best friend.
“Sorry!” Georgina looked up seeing a short red fox running towards her. Sage stopped in front of her, breathing heavily. “I lost track of time, I’m so sorry I’m late!” Sage smiled at Georgina. “I was starting to worry about you.” Georgina chuckled. They and exchanged a quick kiss. “Why did that kiss feel different?” The leopard thought to herself. Sage blushed “can we go eat now? I’m starving!” She giggled. Georgina took the fox’s hand “let’s go eat!” and walked into the restaurant. The pair walk in holding hands, and approached the waiter. “Georgina party of two please.” She leopard spoke to the waiter. “This way miss.” The waiter led them through the room. “Georgina, this place is kind of pricey. Should we eat here?” Georgina panics slightly “oh, I thought we should celebrate the band getting signed.” Sage thought for a second “I guess your right, we can afford to celebrate a little.” she smiled. The waiter leads them to a balcony seat with a view of the city. Sage gasped “Georgina! We can’t afford this! What are you doing?” This wasn’t part of the plan and Georgina freaked out slightly. “W-we are celebrating we should let lose a little. right?” She waited nervously for Sage’s answer. “You’re acting strange sweetie, is something wrong?” Sage’s bright green eyes met Georgina’s with worry. “Oh, it’s the weather...allergies you know?” Georgina said while scratching her neck. “If you say so, but if something is wrong please tell me okay?” Sage quickly kissed Georgina and sat down. The leopard sighed in relief and gave the ring a slight squeeze before sitting down.
The fox’s bright green eyes met the leopard’s brown. “Damn it! Why am I so nervous?!” Georgina thought to herself. “What am I afraid of? The worst she can do is say no.” A shock wave of horror flooded her body. “Please say yes” she whispered. “Say yes to what?” Sage asked curiously. Georgina instantly snapped back to reality and blushed deeply, “uh...to the wine, it’s really good....” she mentally cursed to herself. “Are you okay? You’re acting weird.” Sage grabbed her hand. “I’m fine...just a little nervous about the tour.” Not her best lie but it seemed to have worked. “Yeah, I’m a little worried about it too, that’s a lot of shows. What if I’m not good enough and the crowd hates us?” Sage squirmed nervously in her chair. Georgina squeezes her hand “listen to me, you are the hardest working, most talented singer I’ve ever met. They are going to love you!” The leopard smiled warmly at the fox. “I guess you’re right, I am pretty awesome.” Sage laughed. “She has no idea how amazing she really is.” Georgina thought to herself. “It’s almost time, oh god. Please say yes.” Over and over and over. She turns the ring.
The pair continued to talk for a few minutes before a string quartet approached and began playing a waltz. Georgina stands and offers the fox her hand “may I have this dance?” Sage blushes and takes the leopard’s hand. They begin dancing around the balcony, arm in arm and hand in hand. The song finishes and they kiss, “you never want to dance with me. What’s the occasion?” The fox smiled. “Sage, I’ve been thinking. With us signing the contract and the tour about to start. A lot things are changing, our entire lives are about to change. That got me thinking about how I wanted to spend my life...about who I want to spend it with.” A shock wave went through sage “W-what do you mean?” The fox said nervously. Georgina dropped to one knee, “We have known each other our whole lives. We have been best friends since I can remember. I want to make our hearts one. I want to spend forever loving you and only you.” She takes a deep breath “please say yes.” She thought.
“Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!” Sage’s brain was working in overdrive. Georgina pulled the ring out of her pocket. “Sage Vulpes, will you marry me?” Sage’s heart exploded. “YES! Yes! Yes!” She screamed. Georgina jumped up and they kissed passionately
Category Story / All
Species Leopard
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 6.6 kB
Very nicely written! They sound like they'll make a cute couple~ If you don't mind, i'd like to give some constructive criticism on formatting!
First, at least on FA, you should have a blank line in between each paragraph to make it look a little cleaner. FA doesn't like indents, so leaving a blank line is kinda the only way to not make your story look like a big long line of text.
Second, Every time a new character talks, you should start a new paragraph. There can be details in between spoken lines of a single character, but as soon as a new character starts yapping, a new paragraph should begin~ Like this:
"Please say yes” she whispered.
“Say yes to what?” Sage asked curiously.
Georgina instantly snapped back to reality and blushed deeply, “uh...to the wine, it’s really good....” she mentally cursed to herself.
Third, try to differentiate between spoken words and thoughts. There are several ways to do this, but my preferred method is to either italicize the thoughts, mark them with apostrophes instead of quotation marks, or both! Like this:
“I was starting to worry about you.” Georgina chuckled. They exchanged a quick kiss. 'Why did that kiss feel different?' The leopard thought to herself.
Hopefully these tips help you! Keep up with the writing, you've got some talent! :D
First, at least on FA, you should have a blank line in between each paragraph to make it look a little cleaner. FA doesn't like indents, so leaving a blank line is kinda the only way to not make your story look like a big long line of text.
Second, Every time a new character talks, you should start a new paragraph. There can be details in between spoken lines of a single character, but as soon as a new character starts yapping, a new paragraph should begin~ Like this:
"Please say yes” she whispered.
“Say yes to what?” Sage asked curiously.
Georgina instantly snapped back to reality and blushed deeply, “uh...to the wine, it’s really good....” she mentally cursed to herself.
Third, try to differentiate between spoken words and thoughts. There are several ways to do this, but my preferred method is to either italicize the thoughts, mark them with apostrophes instead of quotation marks, or both! Like this:
“I was starting to worry about you.” Georgina chuckled. They exchanged a quick kiss. 'Why did that kiss feel different?' The leopard thought to herself.
Hopefully these tips help you! Keep up with the writing, you've got some talent! :D
Thank you so much for reading my story! It really means a lot! I always welcome criticism, it helps me learn so I also appreciate you taking the time to help me learn.
I thought I put a line in between each paragraph, I guess when I copy and pasted this they disappeared. As far as the other comments I really like those ideas. I’ll try and incorporate them into my next story.
Thank you again!
I thought I put a line in between each paragraph, I guess when I copy and pasted this they disappeared. As far as the other comments I really like those ideas. I’ll try and incorporate them into my next story.
Thank you again!
You're most welcome! And i don't always hand out criticism for fear of how people might react, but i had a feeling that you'd be fine with it~ ^w^
It's possible that you had a setting on Word (assuming that's what you were using) that made it so there was a space between each paragraph. If that's the case, then it definitely wouldn't have transferred here, because FA isn't good with formatting :P
You're most welcome, and i hope my tips were helpful! I look forward to seeing more stuff from you~ :D
It's possible that you had a setting on Word (assuming that's what you were using) that made it so there was a space between each paragraph. If that's the case, then it definitely wouldn't have transferred here, because FA isn't good with formatting :P
You're most welcome, and i hope my tips were helpful! I look forward to seeing more stuff from you~ :D
FA+


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