I sat atop a balcony looking down at the city below, the lights from the moving cars shinning as they drove by reflecting off the puddles as the rain beat down hard, I could see my breath exiting my mouth within the cold air. A coffee table with a few pieces to an almost completed puzzle lay on it. Why do I go on? Living this lie I made for myself? Thinking that no matter what happened it would all be fine? I ask these questions but I know I’ll never get answers to them, I’m too scared to confront these lies head-on, I make excuses telling myself that what I do is right, that I deserve to suffer for what Iv done, existing for the things I've done is a fate worse than death.
I light a cigarette taking a large inhale of the toxic fumes, letting them burn my lunges before exhaling, I never liked these things, my mother always told me not to start or ill never be able to stop, she was half right, I can stop any time I wanted this shit never affected me, my biology makes me immune to the effects of inhaled smoke.

I grab a piece on the table putting it into the puzzle. In the corner of my eye, I see lightning streak across the sky, I count the time before the loud boom of thunder. 1..2..3..4..5..6..7..8, the boom hits, it's quite far but approaching.

I looked at the darkened sky expecting to see something, anything to bring some form of meaning to my life, I remember I tried some form of soul searching, by trying this whole religion nonsense, a bunch of people worshipping some all-powerful being that watches over them, what a load of bullshit that stuff was, like my sins would just be forgiven so easily.

I click another piece into place. And count the time from lightning to thunder, 1..2..3..4..5..6..7. Seven and a half.

Although…
It may not all be nonsense, I say this as I hold a religious amulet in my hands, maybe I'm just as pathetic as them, or maybe they’re onto something and I'm just too stubborn to realize. I sigh praying to whatever would listen, but I’m sure my prayer fell onto deaf ears.

Another piece fits into place. 1..2..3..4..5..6 the boom hits louder than before closer, Six.
I wonder what happens when a creature dies? Does it see what it wants to see before it goes? Will my life just end once It's my time? I hated this silence it was only slightly muffled by the sounds of traffic and rain, but it all just feels like a mix of something that amounts to nothing. I chuckled, it was like my entire existence all leads up to nothing, in the end, it all loops back to why do I go on doing what clearly makes my life hell, this whole living thing? Why? I sat there for what seemed like an hour fiddling with the last piece, I reached into my pocket and pulled out a crumpled old photo group photo of Eight happy creatures the word “Don’t Forget” written in blue marker at the bottom. I looked back outside looking at the street and buildings below, how could I ever forget those memories, they were hard to forget, and the reason I haven’t just stopped breathing, the reason I haven’t given up on this life.

I put the final piece into place, making sure it all looked in order. 1..2 It hits louder extremely close now.

With the puzzle complete I pick it up and take a deep inhale and see the lightning 1. BOOM! Right on time, as the sound crackled through the city.

The wind blows the smoke away slowly clearing it from the balcony, I wait a couple of seconds, before putting the puzzle away, it was a damned shame I never got any sleep this night as I put out the cigarette, whatever fate lies ahead of me Ill accept it with open arms, but not until I'm finished.

I cross a face off the picture, Seven more to go.