"... can we talk about how last night was fucked up?" Madrigal asked.

Rain was coming scattered and gray on the rooftops of the out-city. Rivulets ran down the walls and left puddles that Yhelm was happily stomping through. "Huh?"

"... last night? With Corbis? You won't catch me saying it wasn't hot, sure, but it wasn't... healthy?"

Yhelm stopped under a wavy roof. A hundred little waterfalls fell in unison onto the cold stones below. And on Yhelm's face. She liked the rain. It wasn't a coincidence she'd reassigned umbrellas from 'keep rain off' to 'this is a weapon.' She had no problem getting wet. She felt like that was a metaphor, and then felt like that was the kind of thing college-Yhelm would have said trying to sound smart. College-Yhelm was supposed to be dead, which meant maybe something was actually wrong.

"Yeah. I don't know," she said. She caught some of the roof water in her mouth as she talked. It tasted like bitter metals. An academage had to see the world in metaphors and had to experience everything through literary theory because that was literally how magic worked. It was literally how reality worked. Reality was literature and magic was commentary. She'd chosen to think of that metaphor for a reason. Not point lying to yourself, right? "Yeah. Yeah I guess I'm not feeling great?"

"So, you know I'm not jealous," Madrigal started.

"You are unreasonably laid-back for a weasel," Yhelm agreed.

"This isn't a jealousy issue when I say this. It's not like, I don't want to come across as--"

"Yeah you think I probably shouldn't goad Corbis into uneven, usually angry sex anymore. Yeah."

Madrigal sighed. They didn't like rain like Yhelm did. Kog, Yhelm even looked good with splatters of Wet rolling down her long fur. Maddie just looked sad. Because of the rain. Which was another convenient metaphor. Because reality was created as a work of literature by 9 deer that existed before time on some level it was still a written work. She had gotten so good at not thinking like an academage. She wondered if it was trying to distance herself from herself. That seemed right. If she viewed reality like a story she didn't have to accept her place deep in the middle of it. It wasn't her life she was ruining. It was just some character.

Maddie took a few false starts and then asked, "How many times have you and him..."

Yhelm took off her glasses and wiped down a streak of Wet across her fluff. "This is like the third time we've actually, fucked? Ugh. Flyhh what an ugly word."

"Why did you start?"

"I mean he's always Apatted at me he's like that. You remember the time I jerked him off outta spite."

"Yeah. That was actually pretty funny, but."

"Yeah," Yhelm agreed. "Yeah but. I don't know." That was a lie. "So Trackless Gait built a web of little pathways into reality when the world was made."

Madrigal stared at her with their big ferrety eyes. "Aha. Is this, are you doing a thing?"

"Yeah hush. So birmads teleport by slipping into these little hidden roads. But there are other ways to teleport. They're usually, higher level spells? Because Magic is a separate base element from Travel, it's not accessible in all the same ways, so it's usually done in a more round-about approach."

"Right. Okay. I'm following beat so far."

"Right," Yhelm nodded. Right. "Right. So there was one I learned in the Cazirizahd--I don't remember it anymore, and I'd have to actually get it on order to remember it because it was really specific--like I can remember the gist but for magic just remembering the--"

Madrigal interrupted. "Sweetheart, it's great to see you excited about magic," which meant something, because usually Yhelm resented her involuntary education, "but this is kind of a serious conversation that we're having out here in the middle of one of Drizzle's visits."

"I know, I know, I'm deflecting because I don't want to deal with my own emotions," Yhelm said. "Anyway the spell teleported you by codifying this feeling of being without a personal anchor, and just, fucking. This sense of, just, letting go. Just. Throwing yourself out the window because hey there it is."

Madrigal tilted their head. It was kind of adorable. "I've lost the beat?"

Yhelm made this annoyed, miserable dog yawn sound. "Maybe it's Bad Boy's blood. I just. Spicy food. Got it. That's it. It's spicy food. This is me eating something too spicy. Sometimes you crave that. Sometimes you just want, uh, you want--"

"To be hurt?" Madrigal offered.

"Like we're doing all right. We have an apartment. We have steady work. It's, it's sometimes weird and difficult work because we're Guild, but it's work. We got each-other. This is where I want to be, right? Either it's some... adversary instinct to try to upset what I have, or... maybe I feel like I deserve to be doing worse? I don't know. And, I mean, come on. Yeah. Corbis is a jerk sometimes but it's usually when I've actually messed up. And you get a cute guy yelling at you enough times but also he's hitting on you you're just like, okay. I could do with something spicy. Maybe my lips burn. Get a few heat sores, can't taste the next day. I don't know. I'm an adversary, Maddie. I think a part of me is just, obliged to do shit like this. I mean I threw away my acadamage career so I could go be criminals with you."

Madrigal had this look on their face like they weren't sure what kind of look they should have on their face. "But... you didn't come back to be with me just to be self-destructive, though?"

"No, I mean, no. Flyhh's sake no."

"So is what you're doing with Corbis just to be self-destructive?"

It was terrible when Maddie was correct. Because they were always correct exactly when Yhelm felt like she'd come at the solution, had it right in her hand, and then they'd come up and point out she was holding a wad of dirt, and the real answer was like, over there, and she'd been digging in the wrong spot and it wasn't even buried but up on a thing she had to climb to.

Damn if this one wasn't really high up though? She wasn't sure she could reach? "I mean, I wouldn't date him. I don't think either of us could stand the other for long enough."

"Mmhmm."

"Like maybe I got some shape of feelings for him but they aren't enough to. Fuck. I dunno, Maddie. Does it really matter. He's our boss we're his underlings. It's. It's fine. It's how things are going between us and that's just, how it is."

There was that face, where Madrigal gave up but gave up with determination, where you knew they were going to come back to it eventually. "All right. Let's get out of the rain? We're just, sitting here, getting soaked."

"Yeah well we're spending all day in Dockrow in the rain getting honked at by waterfaces. At least here it's just you and me."

Madrigal looked around at the closed windows surrounding them. "And whoever lives here, listening in..."

"Fuck. Right. Okay. Let's go. Hey if anyone's listening to our fucked up life sorry hope you're entertained sorry you won't get to hear the conclusion to it--"

"Yhelm, please!"

"--small payment of 10-want sign up to our relationship newsletter--"

"Pleaaasseeee!"

"--adults only illustrated scenes every tenthday!"