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Look! Look everybody!! Look what 
GammaEradon wrote for me! :3 I admit, I actually laughed out loud when reading this. Not often that I LOL for -real- but the line "You're doing it wrong" made me giggle. Kudos!
One sunny Saturday afternoon found two toon predators out on the prowl. It was a rite of passage one might say. The older of the two, a she-wolf, was giving pointers to her young charge, a coyote boy of exceptional intelligence but limited experience.
“Chaos, as you know, as a predator you are having certain obligations, da?” The young genius coyote pup nodded at this. Chaos Coyote: genius, inventor extraordinaire and sometimes shaving dummy, was being shown the ropes of predatoring from a new source: a recent exchange student to Acme Loo from Russia.
“Now, we predators have a natural instinct—even obligation—to hunt. Wolves and foxes have some leeway here. While we are liking rabbits very much, we can hunt other things as well. As a coyote, your options are being more limited.”
Chaos nodded. “Yeah Vlady. For us it’s traditional to hunt road runners.” Vlady, or rather, Vladimira Volchitsanov (to give her full handle) nodded then bopped him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. Chaos whimpered and patted his muzzle.
“Yes, but do not being interrupting! Ahem, where was I?” She asked herself. “Oh yes! Da, you are to be hunting the road runner.” She stopped at a street corner and looked at her watch. “If you look carefully you will be seeing an example of the coyote-road runner interaction in 5…4…3…2…1…
Right on cue, Lil Beeper, Acme Acre’s most famous road runner zoomed by. There was a momentary pause as the phrase (Latin: Riddiculus speedicus!) appeared beneath him. Then it vanished and Lil Beeper was on his way again. Right behind him on a rocket-powered skateboard was Chaos’ older brother Calamity Coyote (Latin: Inventoris maniacus) zooming after him.
As Chaos and Vlady watched, Lil Beeper nimbly ran through the oncoming traffic, even running OVER a semi that bore down on him. Calamity watched the truck grow larger and larger as it zoomed towards him, his eyes growing larger and his ears drooping. He feebly held up a sign [!] before impact.
Vlady and Chaos winced as the semi ran Calamity down, leaving a flattened coyote pancake behind. Lil Beeper doubled back to Calamity and stuck out his tongue at him. “Beep beep!” and zoomed off again.
Chaos blinked as he watched his brother peal himself off the street and reinflate himself. “…You know there’s something to be said for bucking tradition…”
Vladimira stuck out her tongue at him. “Oh, do not be wetting your blanket. I do not mean for you to be run down by a truck.” She paused. “Steamrollers are much more being funny. But first you need to find a road runner of your own!”
“But—” Chaos quailed as Vladimira held up the newspaper again. Chaos sighed in resignation. “…I’ll get the quality-grade bird seed.”
The Russian she-wolf smiled. “Khorosho! So you were listening! Always get the good food for your traps…prey appreciate quality. And the more they are eating, the more YOU are eating when you catch them. And prey with a full belly are not running anywhere so fast.”
Chaos placed a small plate on the sidewalk and poured a decent sized mound of birdseed. Vlady then yanked him back around the corner as they watched and waited.
Within a few minutes a road runner who had been zooming by came to a perfect sudden stop right next to the plate. It was a youngish looking bird, not far from Chaos’ age. Any other features were hid as the road runner started pecking away at the birdseed with rapid-fire speed.
“Now’s your chance!” Vladimira hissed at Chaos. “Go go go!” She shoved the protesting young pup out from behind the corner. Nervously, Chaos edged his way over to the snacking road runner.
“Um….” Chaos’ ears wilted as he failed to think of anything to say or do. “Uh, gotcha?” He tapped the bird on the body. The runner had sensed a complete lack of danger from Chaos and so hadn’t sped off long before Chaos could even dream of getting near.
Vladimira tossed the newspaper at the back of Chaos’ head. Chaos grunted as they connected. “Ow! I mean, er, I’m gonna….get you?” Slowly, the road runner, having finished its meal raised its long neck up and stared Chaos in the eyes. Green glinting eyes surrounded by long luxurious eyelashes. Eyelashes? Chaos gulped.
Sure enough, the road runner was a girl. And what a girl! She wore pink sneakers had a red bow on top of her head, just below her headcrest that reminded Chaos of his sister Pandora. She ‘meeped’ at him gently, giggling. Her voice was like the tinkling of wind chimes. Chaos blushed. Oh no. No. NO! This was NOT how this was supposed to go!
The femme runner leaned her head against Chaos’ cheek, cooing softly. Sputtering and stammering, Chaos backed away. “Um, I er don’t t-think, oooooh!” Chaos came to a stop when he felt himself bump into something solid. He looked up. Looking down at him with a face that radiated displeasure was Lil Beeper. Beeping angrily, he pecked Chaos on the noggin several times in succession.
“Ow ow o wow!!” Chaos yelped, backing away from the angry road runner. Lil Beeper glared angrily at Chaos and held up a sign.
[Stay away from my little sister!]
“Sister?!” Chaos gaped. Meeping angrily, Beeper’s sister glared at her brother and possessively wrapped a wing around Chaos’ abused head. She held up a sign of her own.
[Leave him alone! He’s cute!]
“Cute?!” Chaos felt light-headed. This was all going wrong! Stepping sideways, Chaos ducked out from under his admirer’s wing and started running as fast as he could in the opposite direction. Meeping happily, the femme road runner gave chase.
The inverted predator-prey duo chased each other up and down the sidewalk. Their respective older brother’s, Calamity and Lil Beeper looked on with equal expressions of annoyance. As one they each held up an identical sign, chastising their sibling’s chase.
[You’re doing it wrong!]
After watching his sister chase after the coyote whom was initially going to be her predator, Lil Beeper honked angrily and started chasing after his sister. Calamity started chasing Lil Beeper (as was his wont). Vladimira covered her eyes as Chaos ran past, chased by Lil Beeper’s sister, who was being followed by Lil Beeper himself who was being chased by Calamity. Then for no reason the Warner Brothers (and the Warner Sister) appeared behind them, chased by a fat security guard with a net.
The wolf sighed. “I guess in America, road runner chases coyote.”
THE END
Tiny Toon Adventures, Calamity Coyote, Lil Beeper, and the Warner Brothers are © to the WB
Chaos and Pandora are © to Chaos Coyote
Vladimira is © to Gammaeradon
GammaEradon wrote for me! :3 I admit, I actually laughed out loud when reading this. Not often that I LOL for -real- but the line "You're doing it wrong" made me giggle. Kudos! One sunny Saturday afternoon found two toon predators out on the prowl. It was a rite of passage one might say. The older of the two, a she-wolf, was giving pointers to her young charge, a coyote boy of exceptional intelligence but limited experience.
“Chaos, as you know, as a predator you are having certain obligations, da?” The young genius coyote pup nodded at this. Chaos Coyote: genius, inventor extraordinaire and sometimes shaving dummy, was being shown the ropes of predatoring from a new source: a recent exchange student to Acme Loo from Russia.
“Now, we predators have a natural instinct—even obligation—to hunt. Wolves and foxes have some leeway here. While we are liking rabbits very much, we can hunt other things as well. As a coyote, your options are being more limited.”
Chaos nodded. “Yeah Vlady. For us it’s traditional to hunt road runners.” Vlady, or rather, Vladimira Volchitsanov (to give her full handle) nodded then bopped him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. Chaos whimpered and patted his muzzle.
“Yes, but do not being interrupting! Ahem, where was I?” She asked herself. “Oh yes! Da, you are to be hunting the road runner.” She stopped at a street corner and looked at her watch. “If you look carefully you will be seeing an example of the coyote-road runner interaction in 5…4…3…2…1…
Right on cue, Lil Beeper, Acme Acre’s most famous road runner zoomed by. There was a momentary pause as the phrase (Latin: Riddiculus speedicus!) appeared beneath him. Then it vanished and Lil Beeper was on his way again. Right behind him on a rocket-powered skateboard was Chaos’ older brother Calamity Coyote (Latin: Inventoris maniacus) zooming after him.
As Chaos and Vlady watched, Lil Beeper nimbly ran through the oncoming traffic, even running OVER a semi that bore down on him. Calamity watched the truck grow larger and larger as it zoomed towards him, his eyes growing larger and his ears drooping. He feebly held up a sign [!] before impact.
Vlady and Chaos winced as the semi ran Calamity down, leaving a flattened coyote pancake behind. Lil Beeper doubled back to Calamity and stuck out his tongue at him. “Beep beep!” and zoomed off again.
Chaos blinked as he watched his brother peal himself off the street and reinflate himself. “…You know there’s something to be said for bucking tradition…”
Vladimira stuck out her tongue at him. “Oh, do not be wetting your blanket. I do not mean for you to be run down by a truck.” She paused. “Steamrollers are much more being funny. But first you need to find a road runner of your own!”
“But—” Chaos quailed as Vladimira held up the newspaper again. Chaos sighed in resignation. “…I’ll get the quality-grade bird seed.”
The Russian she-wolf smiled. “Khorosho! So you were listening! Always get the good food for your traps…prey appreciate quality. And the more they are eating, the more YOU are eating when you catch them. And prey with a full belly are not running anywhere so fast.”
Chaos placed a small plate on the sidewalk and poured a decent sized mound of birdseed. Vlady then yanked him back around the corner as they watched and waited.
Within a few minutes a road runner who had been zooming by came to a perfect sudden stop right next to the plate. It was a youngish looking bird, not far from Chaos’ age. Any other features were hid as the road runner started pecking away at the birdseed with rapid-fire speed.
“Now’s your chance!” Vladimira hissed at Chaos. “Go go go!” She shoved the protesting young pup out from behind the corner. Nervously, Chaos edged his way over to the snacking road runner.
“Um….” Chaos’ ears wilted as he failed to think of anything to say or do. “Uh, gotcha?” He tapped the bird on the body. The runner had sensed a complete lack of danger from Chaos and so hadn’t sped off long before Chaos could even dream of getting near.
Vladimira tossed the newspaper at the back of Chaos’ head. Chaos grunted as they connected. “Ow! I mean, er, I’m gonna….get you?” Slowly, the road runner, having finished its meal raised its long neck up and stared Chaos in the eyes. Green glinting eyes surrounded by long luxurious eyelashes. Eyelashes? Chaos gulped.
Sure enough, the road runner was a girl. And what a girl! She wore pink sneakers had a red bow on top of her head, just below her headcrest that reminded Chaos of his sister Pandora. She ‘meeped’ at him gently, giggling. Her voice was like the tinkling of wind chimes. Chaos blushed. Oh no. No. NO! This was NOT how this was supposed to go!
The femme runner leaned her head against Chaos’ cheek, cooing softly. Sputtering and stammering, Chaos backed away. “Um, I er don’t t-think, oooooh!” Chaos came to a stop when he felt himself bump into something solid. He looked up. Looking down at him with a face that radiated displeasure was Lil Beeper. Beeping angrily, he pecked Chaos on the noggin several times in succession.
“Ow ow o wow!!” Chaos yelped, backing away from the angry road runner. Lil Beeper glared angrily at Chaos and held up a sign.
[Stay away from my little sister!]
“Sister?!” Chaos gaped. Meeping angrily, Beeper’s sister glared at her brother and possessively wrapped a wing around Chaos’ abused head. She held up a sign of her own.
[Leave him alone! He’s cute!]
“Cute?!” Chaos felt light-headed. This was all going wrong! Stepping sideways, Chaos ducked out from under his admirer’s wing and started running as fast as he could in the opposite direction. Meeping happily, the femme road runner gave chase.
The inverted predator-prey duo chased each other up and down the sidewalk. Their respective older brother’s, Calamity and Lil Beeper looked on with equal expressions of annoyance. As one they each held up an identical sign, chastising their sibling’s chase.
[You’re doing it wrong!]
After watching his sister chase after the coyote whom was initially going to be her predator, Lil Beeper honked angrily and started chasing after his sister. Calamity started chasing Lil Beeper (as was his wont). Vladimira covered her eyes as Chaos ran past, chased by Lil Beeper’s sister, who was being followed by Lil Beeper himself who was being chased by Calamity. Then for no reason the Warner Brothers (and the Warner Sister) appeared behind them, chased by a fat security guard with a net.
The wolf sighed. “I guess in America, road runner chases coyote.”
THE END
Tiny Toon Adventures, Calamity Coyote, Lil Beeper, and the Warner Brothers are © to the WB
Chaos and Pandora are © to Chaos Coyote
Vladimira is © to Gammaeradon
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 300 x 288px
File Size 15.4 kB
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