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I can't sleep...I can't dream. When I do dream, its very short and random. When I do sleep, its very short and random. For weeks I have gone through 3 hours to no sleep. My body feels relaxed, but my brian continues to be active. Its like someone left the lights on inside and no one's home. I toss and turn to find the most comfortable position to sleep in. Once I find it, I relax, but my brain doesnt; the only thing I can't control...
Tylenol, Nyquil, chamomile tea...They don't do anything to help me. Two cups of hot chamomile tea, topped of with two Tylenol PM pills. The tea helps relax my body. The pills help my brain fall asleep. The result, only 2 hours of sleep, followed by a night of restlessness. Could go outside and run around, but its very cold out and I don't want to be sick on top of being very tired. Could do math in my head, but I will stress myself out for not finding the right answer.
Every morning, my eyes hurt and my body is still weak. My brain is still active and acts like I got a full night's sleep when only I slept for one hour. It feels like it can take on the world with little to no sleep at all. Am I slowly becoming something that requires no sleep and can still survive, or do I have a problem thats causing my insomnia and I don't know what it is? Could be many reasons: after effect of being stressed, depression, maybe even something medical in my brain. I don' know. There are no answers.
Went to the doctors to try to find something that will help. She suggests more pills, the addictive kind. I hate meds. I hate pills. I don't want to take those dangerous drugs. If they do get me to sleep, then I will have another problem: addiction.
Its not fair. I dont need this on top of everything else in my life. I want to be healthy. I want to sleep. I don't want to be awake for 24 hours after a depressing and/or busy day. Its like torture. My brain is torturing my body. It wants me to suffer...and I can't do anything about it. All I can do is remain still, my eyes closed, and just "meditate" the hours away until the sun comes up...and I have to get myself ready for the next 8 hour day at work...
insomnia © 2010 Alex Cockburn
Tylenol, Nyquil, chamomile tea...They don't do anything to help me. Two cups of hot chamomile tea, topped of with two Tylenol PM pills. The tea helps relax my body. The pills help my brain fall asleep. The result, only 2 hours of sleep, followed by a night of restlessness. Could go outside and run around, but its very cold out and I don't want to be sick on top of being very tired. Could do math in my head, but I will stress myself out for not finding the right answer.
Every morning, my eyes hurt and my body is still weak. My brain is still active and acts like I got a full night's sleep when only I slept for one hour. It feels like it can take on the world with little to no sleep at all. Am I slowly becoming something that requires no sleep and can still survive, or do I have a problem thats causing my insomnia and I don't know what it is? Could be many reasons: after effect of being stressed, depression, maybe even something medical in my brain. I don' know. There are no answers.
Went to the doctors to try to find something that will help. She suggests more pills, the addictive kind. I hate meds. I hate pills. I don't want to take those dangerous drugs. If they do get me to sleep, then I will have another problem: addiction.
Its not fair. I dont need this on top of everything else in my life. I want to be healthy. I want to sleep. I don't want to be awake for 24 hours after a depressing and/or busy day. Its like torture. My brain is torturing my body. It wants me to suffer...and I can't do anything about it. All I can do is remain still, my eyes closed, and just "meditate" the hours away until the sun comes up...and I have to get myself ready for the next 8 hour day at work...
insomnia © 2010 Alex Cockburn
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A very deep piece, even without the text. The dream catcher and the illuminated bottle of pills explain the situation perfectly. It's a terrible image in some ways - in that it's so well drawn that you can feel all those worries in it - scary and terrible because it gets under your skin i guess.
I'm even worse than you. I often have terrifying dreams when I can sleep and I have effects that carry over when I'm awake. Doctors have given me medications to calm me, but it usually results in sleepwalking and actions I cannot remember that cause other people concerns. At this point, I'm entirely frustrated and have friends and family watch me for odd behaviour. It's no fun. I fear and hate sleep so much that I welcome the days when I'm so tired that I just black out and wake up a day later, feeling a little better. At least, I have never hurt any one, but it disturbs me that often I don't know what I have been up to. *HUGS* It isn't fair, but there is nothing else for now. *HUGS TWICE*
I'm afraid I know all too well what you're going through right now x.x
The last thing I found that helped me (thanks to Chiger for letting me know about them) was Schiff's Knock-Out pills.
They have a mix of Melatonin, Theanine, and Volerian root to help encourage relaxation and sleep. Might be worth a try. I get mine from over at this site - http://www.swansonvitamins.com/ as they sell them for a very reasonable price.
I hope you're able to sleep soon, hon. Insomnia is a horrid thing to go through.
The last thing I found that helped me (thanks to Chiger for letting me know about them) was Schiff's Knock-Out pills.
They have a mix of Melatonin, Theanine, and Volerian root to help encourage relaxation and sleep. Might be worth a try. I get mine from over at this site - http://www.swansonvitamins.com/ as they sell them for a very reasonable price.
I hope you're able to sleep soon, hon. Insomnia is a horrid thing to go through.
Try to make up a story in your head, a long one that you use your imagination to make everything up. It helps me fall asleep sometimes because no matter what the story doesnt end. I also listen to music thinking up imagery to the music and after about an hour (some times 2) I drift asleep or turn the music off and fall asleep because my brain doesnt have anything else to think about.
Usually when I suffer from insomnia its because there is a known issue that I havent resolved, something I forgot to do at work, people I forgot to call, issues I think my body has (being illness), or relationship issues. Is there anything in particular that your brain keeps mulling over while you lay there staring at your walls? It takes some thinking but if you notice your thoughts swaying a certain way then that could be it... Depression is a possible answer but what the cause of the depression needs to be looked at. Are you feeling fulfilled in your job? Your life? Are things like this bugging you instead of just going with the flow of things?
Just a few suggestions, hope it helps and you get some sleep soon.
Usually when I suffer from insomnia its because there is a known issue that I havent resolved, something I forgot to do at work, people I forgot to call, issues I think my body has (being illness), or relationship issues. Is there anything in particular that your brain keeps mulling over while you lay there staring at your walls? It takes some thinking but if you notice your thoughts swaying a certain way then that could be it... Depression is a possible answer but what the cause of the depression needs to be looked at. Are you feeling fulfilled in your job? Your life? Are things like this bugging you instead of just going with the flow of things?
Just a few suggestions, hope it helps and you get some sleep soon.
These are the pieces I watch you for. The pieces that make you think, and sympathize with the characters in your art. Love the style and the text, though unfortunately I cant relate, at least not much. For me I feel I never get enough sleep no matter how much I sleep. I envy insomniacs, though I know it is not something to envy, and is probably more torturous than spending the day half asleep.
Gosh... I can completely relate to this image and this situation. I've had insomnia since I was a child, of one form or another, and so many nights I've lived on 3 or 4 hours' sleep, night after night, after night, after night...
*offers a hug... or, at least, someone to talk to through the long, weary, empty night*
*offers a hug... or, at least, someone to talk to through the long, weary, empty night*
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