Hot on the heels of me saying I wasn't gonna be doing any writing is my first promptly written prompt in I don't know how many years.
This got out of me due to being part of that dream I mentioned having in my last journal. I couldn't pass up this prompt, not matter how tangentially related it is to the actual piece. It's a pivotal scene, introducing a new character and stuff, but it's not really meant to go anywhere. In fact, I have a feeling that, should I ever delve into making this its own thing, this scene would be completely removed and probably make more sense. Have a beginning and an end, you know.
Anyway, I tried to put a little background in it (it's meant to be a dream, in case it isn't clear), but I'm sure most of this won't make any sense. Just think Heroes and you'll be in mostly the right mindset.
This got out of me due to being part of that dream I mentioned having in my last journal. I couldn't pass up this prompt, not matter how tangentially related it is to the actual piece. It's a pivotal scene, introducing a new character and stuff, but it's not really meant to go anywhere. In fact, I have a feeling that, should I ever delve into making this its own thing, this scene would be completely removed and probably make more sense. Have a beginning and an end, you know.
Anyway, I tried to put a little background in it (it's meant to be a dream, in case it isn't clear), but I'm sure most of this won't make any sense. Just think Heroes and you'll be in mostly the right mindset.
Category Story / Human
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 120 x 120px
File Size 3.9 kB
Listed in Folders
There is a heap of loose ends about 10 feet high that need to be tied up.
Your grammar n'stuff was good, but we never know why the person feels like an outcast or is inside a construction trailer, which is edgy and puzzling. The tornado dream was even more puzzling, and finally, being found by a person who (perhaps created) a strange dream, well that is bounds for outright demanding whats going on here.
This is good for many reasons, the main of which I was quite drawn into the story, and allows you to go into 90 degree turns in the plot and story. You could go a million directions with your setup! I like it.
I agree with Amusa though the end part is the true weakness, douchebag? Come on. It makes her go from that very special person to a very average if not seedy person. I mean, even if you threw in a word like "deadhead" inferring perhaps, that he isn't aware he might have the same powers, or doesn't have the powers... Something.
Great work, good to see you kept with the prompt.
Your grammar n'stuff was good, but we never know why the person feels like an outcast or is inside a construction trailer, which is edgy and puzzling. The tornado dream was even more puzzling, and finally, being found by a person who (perhaps created) a strange dream, well that is bounds for outright demanding whats going on here.
This is good for many reasons, the main of which I was quite drawn into the story, and allows you to go into 90 degree turns in the plot and story. You could go a million directions with your setup! I like it.
I agree with Amusa though the end part is the true weakness, douchebag? Come on. It makes her go from that very special person to a very average if not seedy person. I mean, even if you threw in a word like "deadhead" inferring perhaps, that he isn't aware he might have the same powers, or doesn't have the powers... Something.
Great work, good to see you kept with the prompt.
This is surreal... when was the last time you wrote a prompt response... I feel odd...
Also, very nice little piece. I see Arsonos pretty much said what I had in my mind, so I say less than I thought. I like the setting and there are many directions you could go with this. So, good work.
Also, very nice little piece. I see Arsonos pretty much said what I had in my mind, so I say less than I thought. I like the setting and there are many directions you could go with this. So, good work.
FA+

Comments