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More from kaitycuddle
5 Month Painting Improvement + storytime
HI YA'LL sorry I have been MIA on furaffinity all summer, but I have been going through a LOT of mental changes that I'd like to share with you, because I think it DIRECTLY impacted how much I improved in these past five months. (not to say the first one is terrible and it's ok if you prefer that one, but on a technical level, I personally feel I have improved a lot)
tldr; doing a mindfulness and art-based internship over the summer, learned a lot about myself, overcame my fear of painting, happy
In April I was nearing the end of my very last semester at university (I am in a Kinesiology program for those of you who don't know) before I graduate in the fall, and the only thing separating me from graduation was an internship to be done over the summer. I really didn't know where I wanted to go for my placement... I had a few opportunities to work alongside government wellness organizations, but I was really unsure if that's what I wanted to do. I had the opportunity to attend a board of directors meeting with all of these wellness organizations on behalf of my university and after that day, I KNEW that wasn't what I wanted to do with my life.
(also disclaimer: nothing wrong with this type of job and just doing art on the side, and fortunately this is still an option for me if I am unable to make ends meet being a full-time artist, but for now art is my #1 priority and anything else is plan B)
I happened to be taking a Mindfulness course, and I had to do a presentation on mindfulness and art. All throughout my degree I have felt like maybe I made the wrong choice coming back to school, because I have never been able to shake that yearning to throw myself into art. But after combining art and mindfulness for that presentation, I decided I wanted to pursue that topic for my internship, and I finally felt excited about my summer because I was finally pursuing my passion of art rather than trying to force myself to be someone I'm not. RIGHT before the deadline to pick my internship I reached out to my Mindfulness professor about potential mentors, and she directed me to a wonderful local artist with a masters degree in art education and decades of experience studying mindfulness. So when she accepted me as an intern I was pretty shook, and it took some careful wording on my part to frame the internship in a way that was academically relevant to Kinesiology.
ANYWAY... I have been aware of mindfulness for a while but have always viewed it as a means of self improvement, and in reality, it's not that at all... it's about finding peace with who you are and where you're at right now. I have wanted to be a painter for all my life, but I could probably count on my hands the number of actual paintings I had created because painting absolutely terrified me. It took a lot of emotional unpacking facilitated by my mentor and the book "Real Love" by Sharon Salzberg before I realized that all of this fear stemmed from these deep underlying feelings of unworthiness that were holding me back from even TRYING. I oogled over peoples artwork non-stop all day every day, wishing I was good enough to do that, and unintentionally creating such an unrealistic expectation of art that I was too scared to pick up the brush. Ironically enough it wasn't until I learned how to be at peace with myself that I was able to remove those pressures and finally improve my painting skills.
I have been working hard on myself all summer so far and I know I still have a lot more potential in me, but I'm not daunted by all I still need to learn anymore. I feel 100% certain that we need to try things before we can decided whether or not we like them... I thought I wanted to work a 9-5 in government because I had built up all of the pro's in my mind. It wasn't until I got hands on experience that I was able to recognize my visceral response of "NOPE"-- a feeling that is much different than just being afraid. Listen to your gut! Try new things, but don't be discouraged if it's not as good as you expected!
YA so that's where I'm at right now. I went through a lot of shit trying to figure myself out, but I am honestly so happy and grateful. I HOPE YOU ALL ARE DOING GOOD TOO
definitely recommend that "Real Love" book by Sharon Salzberg btw, pick dat shit up
also hire me for some nature illustrations xoxo
tldr; doing a mindfulness and art-based internship over the summer, learned a lot about myself, overcame my fear of painting, happy
In April I was nearing the end of my very last semester at university (I am in a Kinesiology program for those of you who don't know) before I graduate in the fall, and the only thing separating me from graduation was an internship to be done over the summer. I really didn't know where I wanted to go for my placement... I had a few opportunities to work alongside government wellness organizations, but I was really unsure if that's what I wanted to do. I had the opportunity to attend a board of directors meeting with all of these wellness organizations on behalf of my university and after that day, I KNEW that wasn't what I wanted to do with my life.
(also disclaimer: nothing wrong with this type of job and just doing art on the side, and fortunately this is still an option for me if I am unable to make ends meet being a full-time artist, but for now art is my #1 priority and anything else is plan B)
I happened to be taking a Mindfulness course, and I had to do a presentation on mindfulness and art. All throughout my degree I have felt like maybe I made the wrong choice coming back to school, because I have never been able to shake that yearning to throw myself into art. But after combining art and mindfulness for that presentation, I decided I wanted to pursue that topic for my internship, and I finally felt excited about my summer because I was finally pursuing my passion of art rather than trying to force myself to be someone I'm not. RIGHT before the deadline to pick my internship I reached out to my Mindfulness professor about potential mentors, and she directed me to a wonderful local artist with a masters degree in art education and decades of experience studying mindfulness. So when she accepted me as an intern I was pretty shook, and it took some careful wording on my part to frame the internship in a way that was academically relevant to Kinesiology.
ANYWAY... I have been aware of mindfulness for a while but have always viewed it as a means of self improvement, and in reality, it's not that at all... it's about finding peace with who you are and where you're at right now. I have wanted to be a painter for all my life, but I could probably count on my hands the number of actual paintings I had created because painting absolutely terrified me. It took a lot of emotional unpacking facilitated by my mentor and the book "Real Love" by Sharon Salzberg before I realized that all of this fear stemmed from these deep underlying feelings of unworthiness that were holding me back from even TRYING. I oogled over peoples artwork non-stop all day every day, wishing I was good enough to do that, and unintentionally creating such an unrealistic expectation of art that I was too scared to pick up the brush. Ironically enough it wasn't until I learned how to be at peace with myself that I was able to remove those pressures and finally improve my painting skills.
I have been working hard on myself all summer so far and I know I still have a lot more potential in me, but I'm not daunted by all I still need to learn anymore. I feel 100% certain that we need to try things before we can decided whether or not we like them... I thought I wanted to work a 9-5 in government because I had built up all of the pro's in my mind. It wasn't until I got hands on experience that I was able to recognize my visceral response of "NOPE"-- a feeling that is much different than just being afraid. Listen to your gut! Try new things, but don't be discouraged if it's not as good as you expected!
YA so that's where I'm at right now. I went through a lot of shit trying to figure myself out, but I am honestly so happy and grateful. I HOPE YOU ALL ARE DOING GOOD TOO
definitely recommend that "Real Love" book by Sharon Salzberg btw, pick dat shit up
also hire me for some nature illustrations xoxo
Category All / All
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 1222 x 630px
File Size 749.7 kB
im going through a really similar thing right now so its nice to hear from others who have succeeded despite the challenges of not feeling worthy and having expectations that are so high it makes even Doing the Thing seem impossible.. im super inspired by your story! i hope you can find success in art!
your improvement is impressive! Really well done
Such as your journey is inspiring:) I'm happy to hear that you had the chance to overcome what you were afraid(and that constant pressure) of and become a happier version of yourself
I think that's what everyone should strive for, and what many people struggle with
So yea, great to hear you're doing well!
Such as your journey is inspiring:) I'm happy to hear that you had the chance to overcome what you were afraid(and that constant pressure) of and become a happier version of yourself
I think that's what everyone should strive for, and what many people struggle with
So yea, great to hear you're doing well!
Oh my, only five months? That's such HUGE improvement! I'm so glad you've figured so much out<3 Your art is absolutely lovely.
I can definitely relate to that same struggle, always putting such a high expectation on yourself because you idolize so many other works. I have that problem, and reading of your journey has helped me recognize that its probably why I haven't drawn as much as I used to, and when I do I never complete anything. I want to draw but, its never good enough. I have a lot to figure out, lol.
But I'm so glad you're doing well ^^
I can definitely relate to that same struggle, always putting such a high expectation on yourself because you idolize so many other works. I have that problem, and reading of your journey has helped me recognize that its probably why I haven't drawn as much as I used to, and when I do I never complete anything. I want to draw but, its never good enough. I have a lot to figure out, lol.
But I'm so glad you're doing well ^^
Thank you so much! I definitely still have a thing for bright colours but I've been learning to incorporate them in a more natural and understated way hehe. I have had no instruction on the actual art front unfortunately, the internship has been largely "mindset", but I am going to be investing in some proper painting classes soon!!
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