Yet another attempt at a humorous piece, this was written a year ago me thinks. Based on an RP idea that I had and in the world in which I made. I had people comment that it was surreal, but funny. I think this attempt worked.
and just in case you're wondering, Longstar is indeed me in this world.
Edit: Also fixed the file to .txt and posting it here. Apologies.
Longstar Snippit
Prologue: Longstar Vergausse, the Magistrate of the Frozen North is waiting patiently despite the perpetual frown on his face which is usually present on his face. He is a anthropomorphic albino eevee standing 5 feet even...but he's actually sitting in his meeting room. He's dressed is his formal Victorian era suit...from the waist up. Below waist level he's wearing pokeball print boxer shorts and he's quite comfortable despite the somewhat cool atmosphere of his manor that would chill most mortals. His pupiless eyes open as holograms start to appear around the table in which he sits, the Heads UP Display in his vision announcing the arrival of his Council berthen and the Head of the company he works with: LabArc. A status report of the Frozen North, Eio,LabArc Residential, and other regions was about to begin...

The Head of LabArc spoke up as she turned about counting who actually arrived in holographic form. "Ah! Everybody's here, including the Mad Magistrate!" The albino's expression didn't seem to change, but if one looked closely his face grew more grim. He hated being called that but it's one fate he couldn't escape since his servants started calling him mad and seeing his breaks of sanity. "You know I'm usually here...except that one time when you didn't inform us on the last meeting," He said sardonically, quite bitter about the misinformation. The Head was taken aback them adjusted her jacket. "Well, if you weren't off frolicking about in the snow, you'd actually know!" The eevee simply snorted and leaned on his hand, as if he's already growing bored of the meeting. "Well, there was interference with communications at the Northern Communications Tower so I went there to investigate personally. Of course, how would you know about that if the Tower was besieged?" His grimace slowly turned into a wry smirk, as if he'd poked the Head right in the rear with his rapier. The Head faltered, then coughed softly. "Ok fine, I'll forgive you this time," she said, which only made Longstar shake his head. "Anyways," she continued, quite set on seeing what's going on. A secret smile went through Longstar and the rest of the council; they had a clear plan on how to present their report.
"First let's start out with you Magi since you're usually eager to present your report," the Head quipped, turning towards the albino. He didn't stand up as it's usually for the Council members to present reports sitting down. This time things have been slow, with nothing happening which he was about to present. The eevee cleared his throat and spoke. "From the last meeting to today, all changes have been...nothing. Of price changes on land there has been...nothing. For radical changes in commerce there has been...nothing. For any incidents since the Northern Communications Tower incident there has been...nothing. All in all there has been...nothing." All of that time he retained his wry smirk, quite amused by his report of nothing. The Head was simply puzzled. "So you're telling me that there's nothing to report on?" she asked in bewilderment. The albino's smirk simply widened. "Yes...even the report!" He picked up a sheet of paper which would have his report but there was...absolutely nothing. Nothing more than a blank sheet of paper. "As you can see, there has been absolutely nothing!" He grinned toothily, his unnaturally quasi-vampiric fangs showing. The Head blinked quite unnerved by the showing of teeth, only to shrug and look at the other council members. "Well, does anybody have anything to report?" she asked nervousness starting to make her brow glisten. An elven couple who went by Laura and Austin were the first to speak up. "Nothing!" they chorused, the couple raising up blank sheets of paper. "And there was nothing!" chirped a green reptilian creature going by Ryanne who also held up a paper with nothing. All the other council members also presented their reports of nothing until it circled back to Longstar. "And yes, even the Mad Magistrate stood there during happy hour and did...nothing," he quipped, only to burst out laughing along with the other council members. The Head was quite cross at the reports of nothing, as it has been slow the past few months. "Well then...I guess that ends our reports for today!" she yelled over the roar of laughter only to be drowned out. She grumbled as she simply signed out, in which the eevee fell over from fits of laughter as if going mad. The plan worked! As to why they did it...it was at the whim of the Mad Magistrate.