→ I've learned to hate myself over time. Like most others, i've been bullied at some point as a kid.
Just for something as silly as how I look. Maybe even over just one insignificant thing.
The older I got, the more I convinced myself I disliked how I looked.
And worried about how others might feel when they see me.
And this only got worse as I gained weight and filled out.
Long gone were the days of being an underweight child.

Nothing changes how I see myself no matter what I wear or how I fix my hair. I'm still me.
I'm irrationally embarrassed to be me, I know that my friends don't really see me how I see me.
At least that's what I keep telling myself, down in this hole of embarrassment I dug for myself.

I know I can change if I put my mind to it, if I make all that effort.
But the reason to change has to be for me, and not for others.
Otherwise, I wont really be happy with the outcome.

Where do I find the strength to do it? To climb out of this hole and change?
To find a version of me that i'm happy to look at in the mirror? ←

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Drawn in ChickenPaint 2.0 oekaki, mouse.
First attempt at using the watercolour tool, and drawing different body types.