FA+
Shop
688
Views
Views
35
Favorites
Favorites
Category
Artwork (Digital) / All
Species Fox (Other)
Size 1350 x 1000
File Size 935.4 kB
Report this content
★
More from WTHWolfy
Listed in Folders
You Will Be Found (#ShowYourPride)
Heyyy, so- I wanted to get this submission in and out of the way before I took several years to get it done ahaha, so here it is, my submission for the FA #ShowYourPride contest in partnership with PridePins.
This took me so long tbh ahaha. I tried some new things, played around a bit with technique, and overall I'm pleased with it!
I won't be pasting my flashy "Here's my social media and donation links!" description default that I usually insert in every other image I post, but rather, will be sharing my story as a member of the LGBT+ community.
Around the age of 14 or so, which was late middle school for me, I began to encounter more and more LGBT+ folks in my school and social group. I, at the time, identified as straight, but always had a sense of curiosity for what was beyond the heteronorm. I was a religious person, still am today, and was brought up in a household that favored religion. Let me preface by saying that despite my religious outlook on life, I have always been a firm supporter of the LGBT+ community and people within it. I never once saw it as a "sin" or a "disease" or "something that needed to be prayed away or not acted upon". I didn't believe that My God would condemn anyone or stop them from reaching a happy afterlife simply because of who they loved, and still don't to this day. Now, my parents, both Catholics looking into Mormonism at the time, were rather liberal, however. At least, my mother was. My father had a tendency to be rather opinionated and old-fashioned. It was primarily his thinking that kept my personal curiosity to a minimum.
I had very few friends in late middle school to early high school, but there was one female friend of mine who I had known for years prior that stuck by my side through all of my ups and downs as I grew up to be who I am today. Me and her were quite close, admitting a platonic love for each other multiple times as we supported one another. She was straight, and again, I claimed to be, as well. As a few years went on and I was now into early high school, I began to realize that I was feeling an extreme sense of closeness to this female friend. I loved her, and was starting to realize that the way I loved her was much more intense than her sense of love for me. Was I.. gay?
No, No, I thought. I can't be gay. I mean, I could be... but I don't think dad would be too happy about that. I mean, I still like men. I still very much do. What's the word for it? Ah, here we are- Bisexual. Am I bi?
My head was racing as I sat at my desk far past my usual bedtime staring at my laptop screen. I can't be bisexual though... the people at the church wouldn't accept that.. would they? After some more google searching I convinced myself that if I was only beginning to experience romantic attraction to this friend, that perhaps I was bi-romantic, not bisexual. I kept these feelings for my friend to myself as I continued for another year or so in high school, the entire time maintaining that "No no, I'm not bisexual- BiROMANTIC!... the church says engaging in sexual activity with the same sex is wrong, so.. I won't, I can't." The entire time I was telling myself this and forcing myself to believe this, my level of attraction escalated even more. I began to catch myself staring at my friend. Finding myself drawn to both her personality AND her looks. She was gorgeous both inside and out and internally, I wanted her.
But I felt forced to continue lying to myself for the sake of making those around me happy. This carried on a few months until I could no longer suppress my feelings. So one day, rather tearfully after school, I admitted my feelings to my friend, and in doing so, came out to them.
I can't quite remember exactly what I said, something along the lines of "I know you're straight, and I know we're just friends, I dont want to ruin that." and perhaps a bit of "I don't know what I am, but sometimes I'm attracted to guys, sometimes girls, and I don't know what to do about it".
I figured that me spilling my guts would be the end of my years long friendship with her. But instead, she hugged me. She hugged me close, and for several seconds. She pat my back and helped me wipe the tears from my face. She told me that our friendship wouldn't ever change, but that yes, she was straight, and these feelings couldn't be reciprocated to the same degree. She also said that despite this, she does still have that same sense of love for me that she has through the years, and that wouldn't ever fade so long as we both intended on making our friendship last. Years later, as I am in my second year of college, me and her still have phone calls for hours on end, send each other silly memes and stupid jokes, and are still friends that are just as close as before.
In the time that passed after I came out to her, I slowly began to accept myself as Bisexual, and later, after learning of pansexuality, found that it best fit my identity. I came out to both my mother and father, who thankfully accepted me and who I was whole-heartedly. Within the past year or so, my gender identity also came into question as I began to find that I struggled with fitting into one specific binary. After much searching and seeking, I've found that I identify as genderfluid. Maybe this fits how I am feeling, and maybe it doesn't, but that's okay. One thing I've learned from figuring myself out over the years is that it takes time- discovering and accepting your identity can be a lengthy process, and sometimes you figure that a label might not suit you best anyways, and that's perfectly okay too! Your identity doesn't have to fit into a box to be something that's valid.
So, despite it being almost the end of June, I wish you all a happy pride month. Whether you're still closeted, out of the closet, have it all figured out or are still trying to learn just who you are, I hope that you are able to take pride in your identity just as I am.
If you only look around, You Will Be Found.
Category Artwork (Digital) / All
Species Fox (Other)
Size 1350 x 1000px
File Size 935.4 kB
Listed in Folders
I started out straight too. A straight person who didn't really seem to care about dudes like how everyone else did. Wasn't gay so I had to have been straight, just a late bloomer. Then when I had my first bf, during intimate nonsexual moments he always tried to make it sexual but I wasn't having any of it. My body rhythms didn't change one bit while his heart rate and breathing increased and my mind didn't go there at all. I didn't understand why I couldn't get into it like he did but I still felt love to him and enjoyed the bonding from kissing. I always thought it was because I was raised to not have sex before marriage and I'd eventually do it once I'm married. It took a few years to realize marriage wouldn't change anything and that I didn't care for sex because I'm not the type to be into it. I discovered and called myself asexual in 2015 and it's fit best since, but that ex made fun of me and hurt me for it when I was still in contact. And I currently don't have a label on my romantic orientation since I dunno if I'm aromantic who likes dating or am romantic (although I think it's the former)
Here's to having pride in who we are all year round :D
Here's to having pride in who we are all year round :D
Comments