Awkward moment x3

Not nearly as awkward as Set giving birth to Thoth, the son of his most hated enemy (Horus) from which this entire joke stems from to begin with… true story and mythos.

But certainly not nearly as funny.

I feel the balance is off in this world....

Well, I suppose you're right about that. I mean these are immortal beings living in the land of the dead. It's bound to get a bit off ballanced.

Well, I was talking about how ordinary person get god power and how the setting is felling apart.

Sooo, there is a godly head of lettuce rolling around? If I make it into a godly salad and eat it do I get god powers? Or a nasty stomach sickness for eating 5000 year old lettuce?

Well 'she' can't actually move.She may be godly, but she's still limited by her physical form. Also I would not advice eatting her. It never ends well for thos who eat gods. Just ask Chronos or Fenrir.

Also (bops you with newspaper) Don't eat Junior's Mommy!

Ow! Hey! *Shreds the newspaper* Also wait, does that mean he was birthed from a lettuce? How does that even work?!

Yep he was and…
Oooooooh no. The last time I tried to explain the birds and the bees… This Happened!

Also I think you're too young to worry about such things.

(But if you must know…This is the best explination I can give.)

Okay, first off *Gives you a flamethrower to deal with whatever that abomination is*

Second, I still don't understand how that works, but at this point, I don't think I can handle much weirder, let alone the fact that the pregnancy went to term in a day. So yeah, stuff happens

Third, I am not too young to worry about these things

And four, cute little Junior

1) Awe thanks. Now I've got two fo these babies.
Too bad the wretched thing can fly at 65 miles an hour…

2) It's maaaaaaagic…
Although Min's presence might have had some influence in the productivity.
Also I think we shoudl just take a moment to apreciate that Junior takes after his daddy.

3) The Dragonball diaper says otherwise…
*lifts up a Growlithe onsie* So does this onsie.
(dresses you in said onsie. Cause I'm "evil" like that.)

4) *squeeeeeeeeee* Two years later and I still can't help but (looks at it again) *squeeeeeeee* (zips around like a ferret)

1) And now I fear for all life and hope that things acts like a bee and dies after it stings anything

2) okay, fair point.

3) I really need to change my profile picture XD

4) *Straps a battery to your back to collect the kinetic energy of the zipping around*

So, is this how you create a holy hand grenade?

Nah, the ingredients for the holy hand grenade are very specific and must be followed ritualistically and precisely…like Catholics… Pretty sure none of the ingredient is immortality. That seems rather counterproductive for a bomb.

*tilts head* Plus I think there's a difference between something that is "blessed" versus something that is "godly". Holy water for example, is just water that is blessed by a priest. It has no other real qualifications.

It's that easy to imbue things with godly essence? As a demi I better be more careful where I put my semi-articulated lorry

Results may vary. This is certainly a special trait of the Ankh Bearering gods.

In that same (mythos) Set… uh, "spilled" his "essence" on the ground and nothing happened.
Horus tricked Set into eating some "tainted lettuce" and… Thoth happened.

*shrugs* And yet it's still not the strangest myths that I've heard.

My god steals toenails and grants gifts of charcoal

Yeah, that's cute…
Try Zahhak the Demon King
Or Birth of (and quadruple immortal) Monkey King
or even… OMG MORE SNEEKKS, the 12 Part Story.

And don't even get me started on all things Yokai…
Um, the mythos, not creatures from the Yokai Watch video games.

yeah religions are weird.

did i mention they also lactate alcoholic immortality honey.

Correction: Myths, not religions. I think that it's important to remember that there is a difference.

One is a belief system, technically, even "Atheist" can be a religion. Just look at Buddhism. Sure people can say that they worship "the Buddha", but that's not what Buddhism is about at all. Far from it. Rather it's about escaping the ever continuous cycle of reincarnation. Reincarnation in itself is considered as a natural phenomenon. In a sense, Buddhism is a much more positive version of "Nihilism".

On the other hand Myths are simply stories. Given most are untrue, others used to explain natural phenomenon. The Yokai known as Jiangshi(or also known as the "hopping ghost") was based purely on reality. The Minotaur, for example, was created to describe what was consistently causing all of the small rumblings that were occurring on Crete. You don't need to be religious in order to think of most of these myths

Then there are Myths that turned out to be true, though this tends to be more on the Cryptoids side of things. Okapi (the african unicorn) turned out to be true. It's a rare creature, but it does exist. Giant squids also exist, even though we've never found one alive.

Others more are a combination of the two. The Trojan War really happened, but the stories we hear (aka the Iliad and the Odyssey) are actually works of… well, fan-fiction. I believe that Atlantis may actually have found, but the story had changed and altered so often that most of the vital information had been lost and others had been misunderstood. Like the concept of "advanced technology". This was true, but not what we would consider as "advanced technology". This was the best explanation I've seen over the years.

Oh um… sorry. I reeaaaaaaaly love myths.

It was officially a religion until the reign of King James who then had it removed from that status because the religion had many prophets who were goat herders and that made them think of Satanism so we got tarred with the same brush so to speak.

It's actually the ancestral faith of the Jews before Jacob turned up on the scene but sure yeah tie us to bunch of drunk perverts from Greece why not?

Um, what are you talking about? 1) You're bringing up points that I didn't. and 2) You're being awfully vague. Atheism, Buddhism or Nihilism? Because i'm pretty sure none of those have to do with Judaism.… well, besides the fact that Atheism is the rejection of all forms of deities. (Which would mean that it would also exclude Satanism, heck even Satainist don't' worship the devil. They promote the concept of "Rebellion", but even so the misconception has been around for decades.)

Also King James did a ton of stuff that he wasn't supposed to do. He's basically the primary reason that the American Pilgrims left England to begin with. However, I certain that he didn't establish Christianity as the religion, nor kicked another one out. He just circumvented the one that was already there and tried to warp it so that he could get permission to divorce his wife.

Fact is Judaism started with Abraham, not Jacob (his grandson. And I know this because consequently the Muslim faith also started with Abraham. Or more specifically the story of when Abraham was told by God to sacrifice his son. If I recall correctly the only difference between the Muslim story and the Jew's is exactly which son was brought up the mountain. It was Isaac for the Jews and Ishmael for the Muslims.

you said that i had a mythology and not a religion. I was correcting you.

It's Duri or Durism and it dates back to before 10,000 BC though nobody is really sure when it started just that at 10,000 BC it was first recorded.

The Duri invented a lot of things especially to do with farming but they also had rather advanced medical knowledge for the time and advanced skills in construction though they made everything out of wood because of their principals so most haven't survived for archaeologists to study.

They knew how to circumnavigate the globe using the stars and built quite accurate calendars that mapped the waxing and waning of the moon and even the correct length of year compensating for leap years as well.

And they had a language too.

The pop up all over the globe because they did a lot of trade via ships on the ocean. The current belief by science at the moment is that lots of different places around the world all created their civilizations at the same time independent of each other. However in reality what happened was they all started copying the Duri at the same time as they were communicating between each other.

The new copycat civilizations used similar techniques and pushed the peaceful Duri out but they didn't use all the knowledge and so their technology was more primitive than their predecessors and they didn't care for the way the Duri maintained the forests so eventually ran out wood that was close enough to transport so instead started building out of stone. That's why all the stone structures appear about then.

It's sad that the progress of civilization took 1 step forward and 2 steps back for a while. Scientists like to imagine that that technological development travels roughly in a straight line but the fact of the matter is there are always power hungry tyrants that are rather stupid and set things back a while. The Duri are of course no exception in this. Just look up the Song dynasty in China.

Until the reign of king James the Duri had been living as part of the rest of civilization just with different religious beliefs and nobody batted an eye. It was king James that routed them out and had then arrested for "crimes against the church". Basically the poor Duri just got caught up in something that was bigger than them.

Before Jacob the faith was more like Durism but Jacob changed a lot of the mechanics of the religion. For a start the Jewish law was just that, the law, and it was totally separate to the religion and it's beliefs. Jacob tried to marry the two and in the process changed a lot of the beliefs and simplified the current legal system which lead to a lot of trouble let me tell you.

Durism wasn't Durism anymore and some of us didn't like that and formed a fraction group that stayed with the old beliefs and traveled north.

One major thing he changed which we disagree with was that he changed our god from being an animal into being a human, not just that but changed it from female to male.

It was nothing but trying to appeal to the masses at the time and this has caused no end of trouble across Europe as people believed that only men were important, which is completely not what we believed.

So there's a little history lesson for ya. If you'd like to know more about my religion then please ask. Most people don't want to hear because we're kinda the Jewish ancestor's dirty laundry.

Well, I was responding to the statement "yeah, religions are weird". I wasn't talking about religions, I was literally just talking about myths and legends up to this point. You're the only one to mention this "Durism" thing.

Also there's no such thing as "Durism". Frankly, what you're talking about sounds an awful lot like "Spiritual Science" from a few years ago. Frankly there's more evidence for the "Pixar Theory" and the Iluminati (both of which totally debunk themselves). Case and point: I know that the old saying is "History is written by the victors", but if this civilization was so advanced then how did they get overrun by cheap inferior copycats? "Tyrants" can only go so far.

Edit: Oh I see what happened. You misspelled it in your first comment. You typed "Demi" not "Duri". I thought you were saying that you were a "Dimi-god" like Heracles. My bad.

no, not demi, it's Duri, as in people who worship Dur.

It's not modern, it's not mythology and not a pseudo system.

You can see ripples of it throughout some of the earliest cultures and beliefs as basically it got misinterpreted by people with their own agendas, often with two different cultures built on the same faith destroying each other because of their so called "false" religion.

How does that work exactly when they are meant to be the SAME religion.

yeah I did bring up a religion in a topic about mythology, my bad.

however the Egyptian faith itself contains an element of our own religion in there simply for the fact it swallowed up a lot of the religions around the Arabia area as a way to make everyone feel included.

Ra themselves is actually a variant of a sun worshiping derivative of our faith that's shared with the Mayans, hence the similarities.

You'll see the same traits like a female dominated society and "mushroom" ;3 symbolism between the two around the same time as well as near identical etched symbols like the spoked star and stroked pillar.

also the oldest sections of both of their temples you'll see identical construction techniques followed by much more hap hazard techniques.

That's what happens when people known as great builders travel the globe.

A lot of the current archaeological knowledge is based on the records of who was there most recently. Some of the knowledge of the old world has only come to light in about the last 10-20 years as more and more evidence is discovered from back then. Scientists are beginning to change their understanding and yes this has even been in TV documentaries on terrestrial channels but the fact of the matter is that this knowledge is still fairly new and it'll take about another 20 or so years before what we know now filters down into mainstream education and of course 20 more years from what we're discovering at that time to do the same.

a long time ago people used to believe that gay rights only came about in the 80's despite the fact there was gay right in the 1920's. You'd be surprised just how screwed up our knowledge of the past used to be. I remember when i was a kid they taught us that cavemen would beat women unconscious to have their way with them and now we know that cavemen were actually run by female matriarchs and actually had trade and farming.

time will tell. you'll see as these new findings we have found become more analyzed the who concept of who invented what when and who believed what at what point will be turned around.