FA+
Shop
1949
Views
Views
20
Favorites
Favorites
Category
Story / Vore
Species Western Dragon
Size 50 x 50
File Size 29.7 kB
Report this content
★
More from Shalion
I intended this to be a short story, but it turned into something much larger. Soon my short story was getting too long so I broke it into two segments. This is my first attempt at vore, so I apologize if I got it wrong for typical audiences.
Anyways, the story consists of a young knight who ventures into a cave to defeat a local dragon (I know, cliche' as hell, but I still couldn't keep down the word count). The really enormous dragon turns out to be the one in need of rescue and the knight must venture into the dragon to accomplish what his master apparently failed to do.
*No sex, no nudity, just a big ass dragon who eats a guy*
Anyways, the story consists of a young knight who ventures into a cave to defeat a local dragon (I know, cliche' as hell, but I still couldn't keep down the word count). The really enormous dragon turns out to be the one in need of rescue and the knight must venture into the dragon to accomplish what his master apparently failed to do.
*No sex, no nudity, just a big ass dragon who eats a guy*
Category Story / Vore
Species Western Dragon
Size 50 x 50px
File Size 29.7 kB
I don't know if you will read a reply to such an old submission, but I want to say that trawling through your older submissions to see if any still held up, I say this one still is a decent read, felt rushed in the 2nd part in comparison.
A fascinating idea too, that of a very large ill dragoness mother needing a knight to assist curing the illness. I liked the amount of detail that went into even an early story of yours, like Gareth being a Lord as a knight, the descriptions of how sickly both the dragon mother and child appeared. Some others were strange, like any amount of arm flesh managing to exist after almost 100 years, let alone in a bacteria-laen place like a mouth, and I will admit as fantastical as the insides of the dragon are, I did get somewhat confused as to think of what it looks like, but I digress.
...Is it impolite to mention I rather enjoyed reading the dragon passing her gas?
I do not imagine such a thing was to your tastes, but... I am admittably dissapointed that Michael hadn't lost his cloth and charcoal in finding her and his held breath expire and forced to deeply breath in her foul winds. True, he may have heaved or passed out, but it would give the dragoness some consoling to him and another point that she would not take advantage of his moment of weakness. Or I am just a odd fellow to want him to have smelled it more.
This is a rather bittersweet tale in all, with how the dragons have been vanquished or driven away to slumber in privacy. Somewhat reminds one of The Dragon in the Deep, and I had wondered if that had been a far future sequel to this one...But being a commission, I suppose not. The dragoness has been used by her followers to devour a temple and a thousand people yet in the end she still lost them all to her natural sleep. It seems as though for her sickness she also lost(?) all of her eggs sans one. Was the hatchling taking all of her nutrients and staying inside to make her sick, or was it his breathing fire and scratching that did so? He seemed so calm for how angry he was once they were both outside of her.
The ending in particular feels sad, Michael not only lost his mentor and the two knights following Gareth (their fault in attacking though) and his horse, but lost such a fascinating creature to ever speak to again, as the ending implies they never saw another again, and that no one believed him aside from saving the mayor's daughter.
Have you thought to ever remake this story or take comissions again?
A fascinating idea too, that of a very large ill dragoness mother needing a knight to assist curing the illness. I liked the amount of detail that went into even an early story of yours, like Gareth being a Lord as a knight, the descriptions of how sickly both the dragon mother and child appeared. Some others were strange, like any amount of arm flesh managing to exist after almost 100 years, let alone in a bacteria-laen place like a mouth, and I will admit as fantastical as the insides of the dragon are, I did get somewhat confused as to think of what it looks like, but I digress.
...Is it impolite to mention I rather enjoyed reading the dragon passing her gas?
I do not imagine such a thing was to your tastes, but... I am admittably dissapointed that Michael hadn't lost his cloth and charcoal in finding her and his held breath expire and forced to deeply breath in her foul winds. True, he may have heaved or passed out, but it would give the dragoness some consoling to him and another point that she would not take advantage of his moment of weakness. Or I am just a odd fellow to want him to have smelled it more.
This is a rather bittersweet tale in all, with how the dragons have been vanquished or driven away to slumber in privacy. Somewhat reminds one of The Dragon in the Deep, and I had wondered if that had been a far future sequel to this one...But being a commission, I suppose not. The dragoness has been used by her followers to devour a temple and a thousand people yet in the end she still lost them all to her natural sleep. It seems as though for her sickness she also lost(?) all of her eggs sans one. Was the hatchling taking all of her nutrients and staying inside to make her sick, or was it his breathing fire and scratching that did so? He seemed so calm for how angry he was once they were both outside of her.
The ending in particular feels sad, Michael not only lost his mentor and the two knights following Gareth (their fault in attacking though) and his horse, but lost such a fascinating creature to ever speak to again, as the ending implies they never saw another again, and that no one believed him aside from saving the mayor's daughter.
Have you thought to ever remake this story or take comissions again?
I know, a lot of my stories tend to get rushed in the second half XD But I really appreciate feedback, even on my older stories (And sorry for not getting back to your comment sooner!)
Now forgive me if some of the details have gotten fuzzy in the time since I wrote this, but I do remember that I was quite deliberate with the appearance of the giant female dragoness. You see, there is not normally a lot of empty space inside living creatures (The troll outlined that part in the comments on the second half quite a lot!) So I had the dragoness's stomach inflated with gas which created the space in which the protagonist makes much of his journey. I'm sure I could have been clearer about that fact in particular since in retrospect, it seems to have caused some confusion lol.
You would not be the first to admit a certain fondness for... gaseous expulsions XD In fact, I'm in the middle of a commission where that feature in particular was asked for It doesn't do anything for me in particular, but I don't mind writing about that sort of stuff for people who enjoy it.
As for the temple, I wanted to give a sense that the dragon had a deep history and one that was unfathomable to the knight and his current quest. But given her long, perhaps indefinite lifespan, I'd say that there is a good chance that she was worshipped as a goddess at some point As for her illness, it was indeed because the one egg failed to make its way out and became stuck, drawing nutrients out of her until he eventually became so big as to create a blockage in her system. Or something like that anyways. It seems he was not so big as he could not manage to get through her 'passage' after all lol. But I thought the ending was more or less optimistic at least for the dragoness and her dragonling. She took him with her after all, somewhere far away from humans most likely. There is a bittersweetness for the knight, but that largely comes from the fact that dragons and humans can't live together in this setting. Perhaps the humans' culture will evolve some day so that they can live in peace once more. That could give you some hope, I hope
Of the stories I would like to reboot in the future, this one is pretty low on the list, but I am struggling through commissions right now, as a matter of fact. Though I'm only taking one at a time, and even at that, it's going slowly largely due to my limited free time, which right now is being curtailed by my college course along with full time employment XD But I hope to begin making good progress soon and eventually to finish the rather large piece that I've been asked to write. After that, I do plan on opening for general commissions. I have a feeling though that I'll likely be swamped for requests, probably more than my slow overall pace of creation can really handle XD
Now forgive me if some of the details have gotten fuzzy in the time since I wrote this, but I do remember that I was quite deliberate with the appearance of the giant female dragoness. You see, there is not normally a lot of empty space inside living creatures (The troll outlined that part in the comments on the second half quite a lot!) So I had the dragoness's stomach inflated with gas which created the space in which the protagonist makes much of his journey. I'm sure I could have been clearer about that fact in particular since in retrospect, it seems to have caused some confusion lol.
You would not be the first to admit a certain fondness for... gaseous expulsions XD In fact, I'm in the middle of a commission where that feature in particular was asked for It doesn't do anything for me in particular, but I don't mind writing about that sort of stuff for people who enjoy it.
As for the temple, I wanted to give a sense that the dragon had a deep history and one that was unfathomable to the knight and his current quest. But given her long, perhaps indefinite lifespan, I'd say that there is a good chance that she was worshipped as a goddess at some point As for her illness, it was indeed because the one egg failed to make its way out and became stuck, drawing nutrients out of her until he eventually became so big as to create a blockage in her system. Or something like that anyways. It seems he was not so big as he could not manage to get through her 'passage' after all lol. But I thought the ending was more or less optimistic at least for the dragoness and her dragonling. She took him with her after all, somewhere far away from humans most likely. There is a bittersweetness for the knight, but that largely comes from the fact that dragons and humans can't live together in this setting. Perhaps the humans' culture will evolve some day so that they can live in peace once more. That could give you some hope, I hope
Of the stories I would like to reboot in the future, this one is pretty low on the list, but I am struggling through commissions right now, as a matter of fact. Though I'm only taking one at a time, and even at that, it's going slowly largely due to my limited free time, which right now is being curtailed by my college course along with full time employment XD But I hope to begin making good progress soon and eventually to finish the rather large piece that I've been asked to write. After that, I do plan on opening for general commissions. I have a feeling though that I'll likely be swamped for requests, probably more than my slow overall pace of creation can really handle XD
It's quite all right, this was Thanskgiving week so I assumed you had a family gathering planned. Ahhh, I see! Thank you for explaining, I appreciate it. I wonder if the buildings may have collapsed somewhat in the deflation, but that is just speculation as a reader. :) And my assumption was right then about the egg being the source of the problems. Hopefully they will have a better tomorrow in the future for both races, at least the mother dragoness knows there are still good people left.
Oh my...really. Will that commission be something to be published by you, given to the commissioner at their discretion who to post to, or given out if I asked?
I understand, writing commissions can be even harder than art comms thanks to having so many different variables to work through if it's a longer or more complex story, like your current commission. Especially compounded by college and full-tine work. (Which I hope is going well for you!)
I admit, I would adore commissioning to have you write a story when you open up for general commissions! I've been a fan of yours ever since I found you back in 2011, I lost my previous account thanks to the forced password change (lost email), but I see I did comment here before. If I were to commission a story involving a dragoness who had gaseousness (as a feature rather than the focus obviously), I would hope that wouldn't entirely dissuade you from taking it, even knowing it is not to your tastes.
Regardless, thank you very much for responding and also sharing this, along with all your stories for 10 incredible years. I hope you have many more good times writing to come!
Oh my...really. Will that commission be something to be published by you, given to the commissioner at their discretion who to post to, or given out if I asked?
I understand, writing commissions can be even harder than art comms thanks to having so many different variables to work through if it's a longer or more complex story, like your current commission. Especially compounded by college and full-tine work. (Which I hope is going well for you!)
I admit, I would adore commissioning to have you write a story when you open up for general commissions! I've been a fan of yours ever since I found you back in 2011, I lost my previous account thanks to the forced password change (lost email), but I see I did comment here before. If I were to commission a story involving a dragoness who had gaseousness (as a feature rather than the focus obviously), I would hope that wouldn't entirely dissuade you from taking it, even knowing it is not to your tastes.
Regardless, thank you very much for responding and also sharing this, along with all your stories for 10 incredible years. I hope you have many more good times writing to come!
Hmm... My writing has been a bit slow these past several weeks, I've actually picked up the classic game Dwarf Fortress, if you've heard of it, and have rather been enjoying myself with it XD I am trying to get a bit back into the swing of my creative work though.
Naturally, I'd prefer to be able to publish a commissioned story on my page at the end of it, though I wouldn't say no to someone who wanted to retain selling rights or sole publishing rights.
When I am finished with my current commission (don't hold your breath! XD) I was thinking of holding an auction (probably on my FA journal or something). I was considering asking for people to bid on a rateper word, though rather than a flat amount. I wonder if that will seem too unusual?
The thing is, I have some people asking me for 100,000 word monster projects while I am sure others would prefer a 5,000 word quickie (not that a good 5,000 word story is really any easier to write XD So I would think that allowing people to bid on a rate per word would be more fair. Of course, I'd need to allow people to do things like offer 1.8 cents per word =P
Well, that all makes sense to me anyways. I'm not sure how much blowback I'll experience from potential patrons by trying to do things this way instead of just asking for a flat price XD
Naturally, I'd prefer to be able to publish a commissioned story on my page at the end of it, though I wouldn't say no to someone who wanted to retain selling rights or sole publishing rights.
When I am finished with my current commission (don't hold your breath! XD) I was thinking of holding an auction (probably on my FA journal or something). I was considering asking for people to bid on a rateper word, though rather than a flat amount. I wonder if that will seem too unusual?
The thing is, I have some people asking me for 100,000 word monster projects while I am sure others would prefer a 5,000 word quickie (not that a good 5,000 word story is really any easier to write XD So I would think that allowing people to bid on a rate per word would be more fair. Of course, I'd need to allow people to do things like offer 1.8 cents per word =P
Well, that all makes sense to me anyways. I'm not sure how much blowback I'll experience from potential patrons by trying to do things this way instead of just asking for a flat price XD
Comments