Yo its been a little while since I've posted anything

and I'm still in that art slumb and its freaking me the fuck out

So let me rant for a minute with this super shitty sketch of my messy ass desk about some random shit

I've been really happy but also extremely unhappy with my progress with art over the last two years. I feel like there's a lot of things I've greatly improved in while there are MANY things I've seemed to either ignore out right or have just flat out been refusing to do

I'm getting bored with furry art.

Its fun, its pretty and I love my characters to death but I feel like all I do is draw the same shit over and over again
and Its really crushing my spirits..


I want to improve on speed and the fluidity (is that even a word?) of my line work
For years I've drawn with the level 7 stabilizer in sai plus my own wacom stabilizer tweaks since my hands tend to shake pretty bad from years of medication
BUT in the last year and a half - two years I've weaned myself off of all my medications have switched solely to marijuana and the occasional LSD/shrooms
Now I'm not sitting here recommending it for everyone or to anyone for that matter . And I'm not saying there's anything wrong with taking medication for mental health but what I am saying is that it didnt work FOR ME
too many negative effects, too many problems chemically exchanged for a different set of problems weight gain , memory loss, and body tremors I finally had enough and called it quits
'Drugs' have helped me so much over the last two years its wild, my hands have stopped shaking, my memory is much better, I'm losing weight and genuinely feeling happy for the first time in my life
But I'm loosing sight of what I originally came here to say.

I am closing all commissions from here on until further notice I guess

I'm going to be going back to the basics for a while and try to study of focus more on art again since life has made me put it on the back burner.
be prepared for lots of pointless, stupid sketch studies and other shit
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I just made word vomit and it had little to no point but I needed to say it ...somewhere

what am I saying?
why am I still typing?

My desk is fucking war zone of clutter and I feel like I cant draw anymore.

T L D R; Commissions are closed untill further notice while I try to figure out life and go back to the basics of art and try to re-teach myself as much as I can.