Following her prior game-breaking shenanigans Raja now finds herself wielding the coveted status of a Legendary Pokemon! Granted, hell if she knows what to do with it. With some help from her bestest best buddy Jirachi, who certainly doesn't resent her for relentlessly abusing what should have been a simple wish, she is well on her way to winging out a niche for herself!

It's been some time since we last heard from Raja, my ample Arbok, and courtesy of the ever incredible  Mannoth that's been fixed! I commissioned him recently and this story is silly and delightful as can be and pokes just about every button there is with her. He does simply outstanding work and I hope you enjoy this along with the other decadent tales he weaves!

Story by  Mannoth!

Thumbnail by  T-Bone

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Trainer Tips!

Did you know that there is a new legendary in town? Move aside Mewtwo, Arceus, Articuno and more —Raja's here to make them all look like chumps! Who is Raja, you may ask? Well, she's an Arbok! A big one! The biggest one, in fact! And...

Hm.

Raja drew her pen hand back and leaned back in her seat. This was a bad sign. No, literally, she'd never written much of anything before, let alone text for a sign. Not only was she bad at making signs to populate Kanto with, this whole introspection was a sign that she had no idea what she was doing. She puffed a breath and took a moment to peer around her study, which was really something closer to a large box made out of heavily glamoured stardust. A real house couldn't even fit one of her fangs anymore, not after the... uh, incident.

Thankfully, she still had her bestest friend among friends—and more importantly, granter of wishes— to help provide accommodations. And food. And cool little powers, too, like the ability to interact with the world of Kanto without really leaving her desk. It was like drawing! Only, she was a sucky artist.

“Why is being a god so haaaard...” Raja whined. “What am I even supposed to do?! How do those guys figure it out? I doubt I could be like Mewtwo, sitting in a cave for frickin' days on end until someone challenges me. I'd fill up the cave! My sprite would crash the game!”

“Okay maybe,” came the arf of little Roy. The Growlithe patted her hand that was still on the desk, not even taller than the width of her thumb. “But you could always be the... goddess of good girlfriends!!” Roy started wagging happily at the thought.

Raja just peered down at her little boyfriend and let her tongue flick idly, as if tasting the pungent sweetness hanging in the air from his comment. He tried. He always tried, even if he was a dork. One of her clawed violet fingers brought its scaled form close and curled round his chest, imitating a hug, which was met with a happy little squeak and the wrap of his arms over the tree-sized digit.

“That's not the worst idea I've ever heard,” Raja cooed, “but I don't think it reaches far enough. What about good boyfriends? There needs to be a god of those too if that's where I'm going. And the only problem with that is that I don't think Jirachi wants to make two gods.”

“You're absolutely, positively, completely right, yes, I do not want to do that. One of you is enough, and I can't go handing out powers to just anyone that twists my arm! I already made that mistake!” The starshaped form of Jirachi swept in from the other room, cradling what seemed to be a clipboard and pen in his hands. He hovered over Raja's shoulder and took one look at her handiwork upon her desk, then scribbled something down.

“Of course. Say, what are you writing down?”

“Progress report.” He tucked the items behind him where they seemed to disappear altogether. “Anyway, you seem to be having trouble. That is not good because it means I'm going to have to help.”

“Can't you just like... give me an EXP Share and start doing what you usually do as a legendary? Make this easier for me?” Raja whined as she slumped back dramatically in her seat, arm draping over her forehead and folding her cobra hood.

“That only works in battles, I think.”

“But this is a battle! A battle against my creativity! A rebellious coup for the throne of my brain! I'm trying to figure out what kind of place I should have among the pantheon. I need to figure that out myself or they'll never think I'm a true legendary...”

Jirachi visibly racked his brain for answers. Arceus above, he didn't want to have to come up for an answer for her... hell, he didn't even have to do that for himself! Maybe he could just pretend not to know what she was talking about and leave. That'd be the professional thing to do.

The Arbok slithered forward and wrapped a portion of her tail around her chair's legs, turning it around to face Jirachi with a loud series of creaks. “Hey, you're my friend.”

A stretch, Jirachi thought.

“Why don't you give me another wish? I'm sure I could fix all of these tricky little problems with just a shake of your tail,” Raja offered, her voice trailing into a series of captivating up and down lilts.

“What? No way. Never. Absolutely not.”

“You did it before, though,” Raja insisted. Lurches of her tail served to hop her chair forward, the Poison-type far too lazy to actually get out of it. “I wasn't actually a god from the wish, you did that yourself!”

“I had no choice! What was I supposed to do, let you choke on your own lack of atmosphere? Size like yours, I had no choice but to give you some agency over how you could keep existing without... I dunno, eating the whole dang world!”

“Mm... eh, I still think you could've let me have that.”

Jirachi stared through her. Roy crossed his arms disapprovingly beside her finger, though she didn't notice.

“What!? I was hungry!”

****

“Okay, lesson one: why do want to be a legendary?”

Raja coiled herself as if to stand taller; her shiny violet scutes grinding like soft rubber as she rose to a “standing” height of several hundred miles, size enough that she could part the atmosphere below her by pursing her lips and blowing, should she please it. She didn't, but it was a humbling thought. The Arbok licked her lips, wondering if it tasted like cotton candy as much as it looked like it.

“That's not really a lesson but okay,” Raja shrugged. “Shouldn't a lesson be something more like... I dunno, something that teaches me something? Not a question?”

Jirachi frowned and threw his head back in frustration. “It is a question that is going to make you think and from that thinking you will learn something! I swear you just want to see me struggle...”

Raja smirked, a smirk so small and so tightly curved that she barely looked like the same person for a moment. “Oh not at all~! Thank you Professor Jirachi!” She took off her smile with the professional swiftness of an actress. “As for why I want to be a legendary... well, I'm already halfway there. Just look at me!”

“Mhm. And what do you want to do with all that power?” Jirachi floated closer to her. He never liked messing with his size, so he was like a little mote of dust floating too close to her slitted, daggerlike pupil, in danger of being blinked away by her lashes. “Legendaries aren't just legendaries because they want to be. They govern something important, and they are dutiful toward the weight they carry.”

Raja put a hand to her chin, perhaps for the first time in genuine thought. What could she govern that wasn't already governed? Well, everything had to be covered by somebody, or else it couldn't exist, right? Oh lord, her brain hurt...

What could sort of thing could she represent that didn't exist already?

“I could be... goddess of Poison types! That seeping venom that helps lowly Pokemon survive out in the wild, the acids that drive off predators, and... the ability to swallow anything you put your mind to in one bite! That kind of thing needs an example!”

The star-shaped Pokemon looked particularly nervous at the last thing she mentioned. But he shook his head nonetheless, hoping at least in part to dissuade her. “Is there even a single Poison-type legendary in... any region?”

“Exactly! All the more reason for me to fill that role, prim and pretty!”

Jirachi drifted away from the immense celestial globe that was Raja's eye, then peered down. Below them sprawled the vast region of Kanto; Raja's hometown. He gave up. She may have struggled, but she was nothing if not indefatigable.

Suddenly, another tiny voice piped up from the tip of Raja's snout. “So! Um! I'm really all for this, but whyyy are we hanging out over Kanto? It's cool that I can see my house from here, but...!”

Raja's eyes crossed to view the plateau of her violet muzzle. Roy had knelt there before she decended from her celestial abode and hadn't complained a bit the whole way.

“You're always such a dear, my darling little Fire-type. To answer your question, I have to get publicity somehow. Here's a good place to start, don't you think?”

Roy put on a look of confusion and his rounded ears splayed slightly. “Where's... which 'here' do you mean exactly? There's Pallet Town, Viridian City, Cerulean City—”

The Arbok made a wide sweeping motion with her arms, the force of which rent the clouds apart for miles around. “Everywhere, darling!”

****

This was it.

Raja was ready. Jirachi absolutely wasn't, but when was he? It was his idea to squeeze in some legendary practice—practice at being a legendary, not practice that would be so good as to be told in tales across the world, but who knew? Maybe that would happen too—so it stood to reason that he ought to have been excited for her, not disparaging!

A shadow sliding over the city of Celadon caught her attention. It wasn't hers; she looked a little to her right only to find that an encroaching storm cloud was coming to eclipse the sky. What? No. She wasn't about to compete for attention. If anything was going to cover up the sky, it was going to be her. The hooded serpent snaked down a ways toward the black front of evaporated water and flicked her tongue at it curiously. It rippled and shook, like a bubble barely staying intact. Jolts of electricity snapped at her in self defense; she barely felt it.

Well, it was just in the way now. She opened her mouth and began to lean forward, columns of drool cutting through the cloudy mass as it slid between her parted jaws, losing its color and consistency as the heat within her maw greedily permeated every inch. It really was like cotton candy; it melted right in her mouth! Soon it was akin to gulping down a mouthful of water, which she did with no real ceremony; the GLRK of her throat muscles contacting echoed throughout the region, and possibly a few of the adjacent ones.

“Storm clouds are just spicy water,” she concluded with a crackling belch.

“Just because you're a goddess now and can do close to anything, doesn't mean you should!”

Raja considered that statement very carefully. Jirachi was right; maybe she should be doing more to make a splash on people than the world. The world couldn't worship her after all. Or maybe it could, just not within her stomach. She wasn't sure.

Either way, she had a mind to really make an impact.

“So, when you say I can do anything...”

“I don't like the way you said that!” Jirachi warned, helplessly.

“...Like this?” Raja asked with a flick of her tongue, in such a way that Jirachi realized too late was dreadfully playful. Mere moments of trepidation later, Raja let her torso drop to the earth as her tail length was pushed back into a slight curl, no longer supporting her upright. It almost felt like time stopped and sound ceased to exist for a second or two—and then a deep rumble, like a meteor striking the earth in an action movie, echoed forth in a slow-moving shockwave in all directions, as Raja now lay supported by her huge violet breasts upon the remains of the Celadon Department Store.

“NO! NOT LIKE THAT! Only villains do that! Why would you even think of—” the little star's voice devolved into a string of curses unbecoming of a deity of any kind, and so Raja simply stopped listening.

She did look behind her though, and the sight therein was amusing. She'd almost forgotten how big she actually was, but noted quite pointedly that her tail length ran the gamut from Saffron to Cinnabar. She was bigger than Kanto as a region, and she was only getting started!

“Blah blah blah, blah, you see, blah blah—”

Wonder if he's saying anything important, Raja mused. Probably something about responsibility. Relax, relax, she was wooorking on it. Let her have some fun, geez!

Jirachi was always like that though, she reasoned. Being a killjoy was kind of his thing. She couldn't say that was the case for other legendaries and it baffled her that of all the gods in this world of theirs, him, the one with the power to break any rules imaginable, was more keen to invent his own and enforce them even harder than the ones who actually governed real, tangible laws like time and space. How lame could you even be?

“—And like I was saying about doing whatever you want—”

Mash B, mash B, mash B.

“—The least you could do is fix the mess you've made. Does that make sense? I'm trying not to be too long-winded with my tutorial here.” Jirachi blinked. “I feel like everything I just said was sped through somehow.”

“Sorry,” Raja replied, none too sincerely. She finally decided to lift herself off the earth, crumbling debris and bricks of once-building entering free-fall back into the mortal world below. Her chest wobbled and bounced with the sudden movement, freeing ever more chips of the department store, where they seemingly became suspended just before striking the ground.

Raja took note of Jirachi's surprise as he stared at where there should have been... well, with what she just did, carnage!

“That's... weird.”

“Not if you're a god, right?” Raja winked. “I gave my Glare move a bit of an upgrade. Figured paralyzing time is a fair step up from just paralyzing someone's limbs, wouldn't you agree?”

“You... wow. Wow, that's kind of thoughtful of you, actually!” Jirachi exclaimed, sweeping down to the ruined building to inspect her work. Indeed, everyone inside was frozen in postures of surprise and awe. Even though the second floor and upward had been summarily obliterated, there they stood, as if floating on thin air, some enacting transactions as if nothing was wrong at all. “Doesn't Glare require them all to see you...?”

“Please, dear... at this size? With this kind of presence? Do you really think anyone could keep their eyes off me for even a second?” She smiled warmly. “I'll be raking in the followers in no time!”

Jirachi lifted a finger, puffed his cheeks, sifted quite visibly for an answer, then lowered his hand.

“I think you're hitting your stride as a goddess,” Jirachu mumbled. “And that's exactly what I was afraid of.”