Exiled to Records. It's downstairs. It's by the boiler.
Monday mornings at the ZPD had gotten to be routine for Felicia Briggs. She would arrive at the front door around six thirty, then head to the locker room and pick up the accessories for her shift and be out on parking duty by seven. Pretty much it was just her hat, vehicle keys and obnoxiously orange reflective vest. She preferred to keep them in her locker rather than take them home because it gave her an excuse to come into the building proper and mingle with her fellow officers.
Case in point, the small figure of Sargent Hamlin came up the rodent-friendly ramp to the side. His uniform a crisp and clean dark blue punctuated by the brass of his badge and black of his tie. He glanced up and seeing her the focused, sternness in his face seemed to mostly blow away. He still looked serious but it was at least a friendly seriousness. Such was the advantage of making friends with him on the first day.
“Morning, Briggs. How was the weekend?”
“Good morning Hammy. It was ok. Did some shopping for necessities, took in a movie, listened to my neighbors argue… not even a hint of an apology for being loud. How was yours?”
“Not bad. Got some reading done, caught up on my fitness routine, went to the nightclub and met some nice ladies. You know. Nothing earth shattering, unless you count Ted Kalasha’s insomnia-fueled late-night soft-shoe.” he noted Briggs’ inquisitive expression and elaborated. “Oh. He’s an elephant with insomnia and dancing helps him sleep. Fortunately I live in the apartment next to him and not below or it things could get tense.”
"I can imagine. But your building is built with elephants in mind I would hope."
"Oh definitely. The Casa Rhodes is reinforced six ways from Sunday for all the needs of a plus-sized occupant. Heck, they added special sound-absorbing sheetrock on the walls to cut down on the sound."
"Wish my apartment had that."
"Where ARE you living anyways?"
"Grand Pangolin Arms," Felicia replied. "Judy used to live there."
"Oh yeah. I think we had to help housing and development serve some papers to the owners a few times. Mostly on upkeep, so... yeah. Hope they're at least keeping up the delousing."
"Once a month, needed or not," Felicia sighed. "Just the walls are paper thin, and you hear those two darned pronkers yelling 'No, YOU shut up' nightly, and I can't even have company over unless you want the whole building to know about it."
"Wow. Yeah, we have GOT to get you out of there. I'll see if I can find anything more... suitable for your needs." Hamlin said as they entered the lobby. "I'm good at that kind of thing."
The morning sun was shining in the eastern windows of Precinct 1 giving it a golden glow, and there, frontstage center (so to speak) was Benjamin Clawhauser, seated at his semicircular desk, ready to provide information and aid to those who passed his way… and nearly muzzle deep in his morning bowl of Lucky Chomps cereal.
“Good Morning, Clawhauser.” Felicia Briggs said, giving him a wave.
“Good morning, Felicia.” Benjamin Clawhauser returned, pausing from his morning cereal to wave back.
“Morning, Count Snackula.” Walter Hamlin snarked at the large cheetah.
Felicia was about to give Hamlin a dirty look when she heard Clawhauser’s cheery reply…
“Get Bent, Walter!”
“Woah… did he? Did Clawhauser just…?” She asked, feeling the shock of the surrealness of the event. “I don’t know what was more weird. Clawhauser telling you to ‘get bent’ or that he said it like a 1950’s TV dad greeting a neighbor.”
“Oh yeah. You never heard us exchange pleasantries before.” Hamlin said with a snicker. “Bit of a story behind that.”
“You going to share or do I gotta bribe it out of you with a toasted bagel?”
“Ehhh, I’ll give you this one gratis. You remember the whole Nighthowler incident?”
“Who doesn’t? We were all worried who would go savage next. A friend? A neighbor?” She paused and shuddered. “...Ourselves?”
“Yeah. Well the effects were felt from the lowest levels up to shake even the pillars of our community… and some changes were made to reassure the populace that all would be well.”
What KIND of changes?” Felicia asked, cautiously.
“Welcome to wonderful world of records, where forms are filed, paper is pushed and inconvenient officers like yours truly are sent out of sight and out of mind.” Hamlin announced to Clawhauser as he set his box of belongings down on the empty desk that had earlier been set down adjacent to his own.. “Finally! I get some help down here. Better start making yourself useful tubby, we got a lot of forms to process today.”
“Yes sir.” Ben replied, lowering himself into his seat and pulling the first clump of paper from the Inbox. “Right away, sir.”
“I can NOT tell you how long I have been trying to get some extra paws down here.” The rat said, pulling a paper clump from his own Inbox and marching up to the top to read it. “Yes, I am very good at this but I am also just one mammal. One mammal who is less than a foot tall, trying to keep the information processed in this precinct. It’s not fair to the ZPD and it’s not fair to me either.”
“No sir… it’s not fair.”
“So tons of fun, what DID you do to get exiled down to the boiler level?” Hamlin asked with a chuckle. “Fanboy over Gazelle to too many perps? Put another silly-sounding voice message on the Police voice message system? Oh! Wait, I know… you ate the whole box of doughnuts in the bullpen before Chief Bogo could extract his favorite.”
"With the growing… concern over the recent situation involving… certain citizens going savage they thought it would be better if a predator - such as myself - wasn't the first face that you see when you walk into the ZPD.”
Hamlin just stared at the cheetah as he quietly shuffled the papers in front of him. The normally irrepressibly bubbly and happy desk officer now looked somehow smaller, like all the air had been let out of him. There was none of his usual chipper dialogue, no inane babble about Gazelle, no… Benjamin Clawhauser.
“That… is SUCH a steaming load!”
“Uh? What?” Clawhauser asked, his confusion causing him to snap out of his self-pity in time to see Hamlin walking across his desk, stepping onto Clawhauser’s and gesturing wildly as he strutted back and forth in front of the larger mammal.
“My paws and whiskers, that is the biggest stinking load of sewage I have ever become aware of in my life, and I was BORN in a sewer.” Hamlin said, his exasperation at the situation rising. “I mean, for crying out loud! You are about as threatening as a soap bubble.”
“Well I… I just… they said…”
“I don’t CARE what they said. Sweet charity just look at yourself man! You’re a marshmallow covered in fur! They could make a fortune selling ZPD plush toys modeled after you and not even talking about your personality…”
“What about my personality?”
“You, Benjamin Clawhauser, are so insufferably upbeat and positive you are a gol-danged blinding ray of sunshine in Precinct 1’s lobby!”
“You, you really think that?” the cheetah asked.
“I know it, Clawhauser. I have to pass by you every day so it’s nearly impossible to not be aware of it.”
“But… I thought you didn’t even LIKE me. You grumble at me and call me names like Butterball, and Chubby and, and… and the National Doughnut Repository.”
“Ok, first off… I grumble at everyone. Look around, Ben! I arrived at the job with vim and vigor and ready to show the world just what a rat can do, and what did they do?” He gave his pen-filled coffee mug a kick. “They marginalized me. They judged me by my size and sent me down here where I can’t get stepped on and make the ZPD look bad. I only get sent into the field when they need a cop who’s less than 12 inches tall, so yeah… I got a bit of an attitude about it.”
“All right. I can see that.”
"Second… I will admit my nicknames for you weren’t very sensitive but you never fought back. You never once told me to shut my word hole, and you could have easily done that. So why did you take it? I'll tell you why. It's because you never let it get to you. You were the… well… I’m gonna say it. You were the bigger mammal about it. You were just too much of a big ball of positivity to absorb those insults and I... I uh... I respected you for it.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Look. For future reference you do realize you can tell me off, right?”
“I do now. I’ll keep that in mind. ...Thanks Hamlin.”
“You can call me Walter. I think we’ve reached the first-name phase of this Hallmark moment.”
“Oh, yeah. Definitely.” Ben chuckled. “Do we have to hug now? I’d be completely ok with it but I’m not sure if that’s your thing.”
“Ehhh, well. Let’s do it just this once but only because the situation allows it.” Walter said, opening his arms wide with a sigh of resignation. “Let’s get this over with...Bring it in here big guy.”
Felicia laughed as she strapped on her reflective vest and pulled her meter maid hat from her locker.
“You’re joking. You really hugged Clawhauser? I mean… no offence but that would be like me trying to hug a parade balloon.”
“A not inaccurate comparison, but heck we were having a moment there so… in for a penny…”
“And in for a pound. Gotcha. So this is why he gets to talk back to you?”
“You got it. Look, the guy is as hard and as ruthless as a rose petal. So it’s become our version of an in-joke and a handshake between us.”
“You know, it’s sweet hearing that you reached out to a fellow officer when he was hurting like that. Sure you might grumble and grouse and play the curmudgeon but you refuse to let this job turn you into a TOTAL bitter little ball.”
“Thanks for noticing my better qualities, Briggs. I became a cop because wanted to be a good example for other rats. Maybe people like you and Clawhauser exist to remind me that I don’t have to take life so personally.”
“Sounds like a good philosophy to me.” She said checking the tilt of her hat in her locker mirror before closing it. “Come on. Let’s do what we can to change the world’s perspective of us.”
“Lead on, Officer.”
Artwork once again provided by the talented DUTCH https://www.furaffinity.net/user/dutch/
Case in point, the small figure of Sargent Hamlin came up the rodent-friendly ramp to the side. His uniform a crisp and clean dark blue punctuated by the brass of his badge and black of his tie. He glanced up and seeing her the focused, sternness in his face seemed to mostly blow away. He still looked serious but it was at least a friendly seriousness. Such was the advantage of making friends with him on the first day.
“Morning, Briggs. How was the weekend?”
“Good morning Hammy. It was ok. Did some shopping for necessities, took in a movie, listened to my neighbors argue… not even a hint of an apology for being loud. How was yours?”
“Not bad. Got some reading done, caught up on my fitness routine, went to the nightclub and met some nice ladies. You know. Nothing earth shattering, unless you count Ted Kalasha’s insomnia-fueled late-night soft-shoe.” he noted Briggs’ inquisitive expression and elaborated. “Oh. He’s an elephant with insomnia and dancing helps him sleep. Fortunately I live in the apartment next to him and not below or it things could get tense.”
"I can imagine. But your building is built with elephants in mind I would hope."
"Oh definitely. The Casa Rhodes is reinforced six ways from Sunday for all the needs of a plus-sized occupant. Heck, they added special sound-absorbing sheetrock on the walls to cut down on the sound."
"Wish my apartment had that."
"Where ARE you living anyways?"
"Grand Pangolin Arms," Felicia replied. "Judy used to live there."
"Oh yeah. I think we had to help housing and development serve some papers to the owners a few times. Mostly on upkeep, so... yeah. Hope they're at least keeping up the delousing."
"Once a month, needed or not," Felicia sighed. "Just the walls are paper thin, and you hear those two darned pronkers yelling 'No, YOU shut up' nightly, and I can't even have company over unless you want the whole building to know about it."
"Wow. Yeah, we have GOT to get you out of there. I'll see if I can find anything more... suitable for your needs." Hamlin said as they entered the lobby. "I'm good at that kind of thing."
The morning sun was shining in the eastern windows of Precinct 1 giving it a golden glow, and there, frontstage center (so to speak) was Benjamin Clawhauser, seated at his semicircular desk, ready to provide information and aid to those who passed his way… and nearly muzzle deep in his morning bowl of Lucky Chomps cereal.
“Good Morning, Clawhauser.” Felicia Briggs said, giving him a wave.
“Good morning, Felicia.” Benjamin Clawhauser returned, pausing from his morning cereal to wave back.
“Morning, Count Snackula.” Walter Hamlin snarked at the large cheetah.
Felicia was about to give Hamlin a dirty look when she heard Clawhauser’s cheery reply…
“Get Bent, Walter!”
“Woah… did he? Did Clawhauser just…?” She asked, feeling the shock of the surrealness of the event. “I don’t know what was more weird. Clawhauser telling you to ‘get bent’ or that he said it like a 1950’s TV dad greeting a neighbor.”
“Oh yeah. You never heard us exchange pleasantries before.” Hamlin said with a snicker. “Bit of a story behind that.”
“You going to share or do I gotta bribe it out of you with a toasted bagel?”
“Ehhh, I’ll give you this one gratis. You remember the whole Nighthowler incident?”
“Who doesn’t? We were all worried who would go savage next. A friend? A neighbor?” She paused and shuddered. “...Ourselves?”
“Yeah. Well the effects were felt from the lowest levels up to shake even the pillars of our community… and some changes were made to reassure the populace that all would be well.”
What KIND of changes?” Felicia asked, cautiously.
“Welcome to wonderful world of records, where forms are filed, paper is pushed and inconvenient officers like yours truly are sent out of sight and out of mind.” Hamlin announced to Clawhauser as he set his box of belongings down on the empty desk that had earlier been set down adjacent to his own.. “Finally! I get some help down here. Better start making yourself useful tubby, we got a lot of forms to process today.”
“Yes sir.” Ben replied, lowering himself into his seat and pulling the first clump of paper from the Inbox. “Right away, sir.”
“I can NOT tell you how long I have been trying to get some extra paws down here.” The rat said, pulling a paper clump from his own Inbox and marching up to the top to read it. “Yes, I am very good at this but I am also just one mammal. One mammal who is less than a foot tall, trying to keep the information processed in this precinct. It’s not fair to the ZPD and it’s not fair to me either.”
“No sir… it’s not fair.”
“So tons of fun, what DID you do to get exiled down to the boiler level?” Hamlin asked with a chuckle. “Fanboy over Gazelle to too many perps? Put another silly-sounding voice message on the Police voice message system? Oh! Wait, I know… you ate the whole box of doughnuts in the bullpen before Chief Bogo could extract his favorite.”
"With the growing… concern over the recent situation involving… certain citizens going savage they thought it would be better if a predator - such as myself - wasn't the first face that you see when you walk into the ZPD.”
Hamlin just stared at the cheetah as he quietly shuffled the papers in front of him. The normally irrepressibly bubbly and happy desk officer now looked somehow smaller, like all the air had been let out of him. There was none of his usual chipper dialogue, no inane babble about Gazelle, no… Benjamin Clawhauser.
“That… is SUCH a steaming load!”
“Uh? What?” Clawhauser asked, his confusion causing him to snap out of his self-pity in time to see Hamlin walking across his desk, stepping onto Clawhauser’s and gesturing wildly as he strutted back and forth in front of the larger mammal.
“My paws and whiskers, that is the biggest stinking load of sewage I have ever become aware of in my life, and I was BORN in a sewer.” Hamlin said, his exasperation at the situation rising. “I mean, for crying out loud! You are about as threatening as a soap bubble.”
“Well I… I just… they said…”
“I don’t CARE what they said. Sweet charity just look at yourself man! You’re a marshmallow covered in fur! They could make a fortune selling ZPD plush toys modeled after you and not even talking about your personality…”
“What about my personality?”
“You, Benjamin Clawhauser, are so insufferably upbeat and positive you are a gol-danged blinding ray of sunshine in Precinct 1’s lobby!”
“You, you really think that?” the cheetah asked.
“I know it, Clawhauser. I have to pass by you every day so it’s nearly impossible to not be aware of it.”
“But… I thought you didn’t even LIKE me. You grumble at me and call me names like Butterball, and Chubby and, and… and the National Doughnut Repository.”
“Ok, first off… I grumble at everyone. Look around, Ben! I arrived at the job with vim and vigor and ready to show the world just what a rat can do, and what did they do?” He gave his pen-filled coffee mug a kick. “They marginalized me. They judged me by my size and sent me down here where I can’t get stepped on and make the ZPD look bad. I only get sent into the field when they need a cop who’s less than 12 inches tall, so yeah… I got a bit of an attitude about it.”
“All right. I can see that.”
"Second… I will admit my nicknames for you weren’t very sensitive but you never fought back. You never once told me to shut my word hole, and you could have easily done that. So why did you take it? I'll tell you why. It's because you never let it get to you. You were the… well… I’m gonna say it. You were the bigger mammal about it. You were just too much of a big ball of positivity to absorb those insults and I... I uh... I respected you for it.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. Look. For future reference you do realize you can tell me off, right?”
“I do now. I’ll keep that in mind. ...Thanks Hamlin.”
“You can call me Walter. I think we’ve reached the first-name phase of this Hallmark moment.”
“Oh, yeah. Definitely.” Ben chuckled. “Do we have to hug now? I’d be completely ok with it but I’m not sure if that’s your thing.”
“Ehhh, well. Let’s do it just this once but only because the situation allows it.” Walter said, opening his arms wide with a sigh of resignation. “Let’s get this over with...Bring it in here big guy.”
Felicia laughed as she strapped on her reflective vest and pulled her meter maid hat from her locker.
“You’re joking. You really hugged Clawhauser? I mean… no offence but that would be like me trying to hug a parade balloon.”
“A not inaccurate comparison, but heck we were having a moment there so… in for a penny…”
“And in for a pound. Gotcha. So this is why he gets to talk back to you?”
“You got it. Look, the guy is as hard and as ruthless as a rose petal. So it’s become our version of an in-joke and a handshake between us.”
“You know, it’s sweet hearing that you reached out to a fellow officer when he was hurting like that. Sure you might grumble and grouse and play the curmudgeon but you refuse to let this job turn you into a TOTAL bitter little ball.”
“Thanks for noticing my better qualities, Briggs. I became a cop because wanted to be a good example for other rats. Maybe people like you and Clawhauser exist to remind me that I don’t have to take life so personally.”
“Sounds like a good philosophy to me.” She said checking the tilt of her hat in her locker mirror before closing it. “Come on. Let’s do what we can to change the world’s perspective of us.”
“Lead on, Officer.”
Artwork once again provided by the talented DUTCH https://www.furaffinity.net/user/dutch/
Category Artwork (Digital) / Fanart
Species Unspecified / Any
Size 900 x 1000px
File Size 212.6 kB
FA+

Comments